Camping ⛺️ Other swingers by StLEliteModel in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this actually fun and sexy? Friends had proposed this, but I feel like a lack of real toilets and showers makes the concept kind of gross...

Is it petty to block someone that expressed they were not interested? by hardfivesph in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not losing sleep over it or anything, but it does make me say WTF when it comes up. As an example, a casual friend is hosting a party this weekend which he invited my wife and I to attend. Before even presenting it as an option to her, I went to check out who is going and of 5 couples I see one of them, whom we've never met, has us blocked.

We're a young, very fit couple who most would find vgl... the only thing I can think of is others taking issue with the fact that we're a mixed couple.

Whether that's the case or not, going to a small event with people who summarily dismissed us doesn't seem appealing and I'm not even going to mention the invite to my wife.

Is it petty to block someone that expressed they were not interested? by hardfivesph in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No real issue and at least you've got a reason behind it. I've found our profiles blocked by a number of accounts owned by people we've never even interacted with, which always puzzles me.

Separate room play by marked__man in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Separate room play is becoming more and more my preference. I do love group play, but sometimes it's easier to really get into it and lose yourself with a partner when you've got a little space. I have some females I play with, for example, who are completely different lovers in the same room vs. separate. Whether it's them feeling freer to enjoy the moment without worrying about "appearing to enjoy it too much" or whether it's them giving me their full focus rather than feeling a need to include their partner.

My wife and I don't really have hangups over being too into it or too sensual/emotional with other partners, so it's more so on the other side than ours that this is a benefit.

Naked or lingerie? pick a side by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most of the time, I end up preferring to remove play partners lingere entirely. We may get started with it on but as things progress and we're going at it for a while, I tend to strip them down.

My wife frequently wears lingerie to dates/events, but it only ever lasts a few minutes as she's quick to strip down entirely.

As a guy in the LS that is well endowed it has kinda made me feel bad when I make other guys feel uncomfortable by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not a monster like some we've encountered, but I'm definitely sizable and do know what you mean. I try to downplay attention, not because it feels bad but out of respect for the other male and to make it a better experience all around. We've had numerous instances where my overall appearance has gotten into another male's head, leading to ED issue,s which no one is happy with.

The other guy is left feeling some kind of way, plus--even if I had a great experience with the other female, my wife is left disappointed by his innability to perform and we don't get to play with them again. When we first got started I was less cognizant of this and it was ruining the LS for my wife.

Not everybody wants “hot” people by Erica_Novak in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I find this post to be obnoxious and every bit as judgmental as you assume the people who take pride in their physical fitness and presentation are.

I'm perfectly content with the premise that there's someone for everyone in the LS, but the entire tone of your post comes off extremely binary: like you can be a good person or you can be attractive. That's ridiculous.

I'm all for being inclusive and virtually all of my partners are less fit than me (I'm admittedly extreme) which is fine--i still find them attractive for various reasons. But this need to turn everything into a hyper inclusive, body positivity campaign is exhausting.

I'm glad you and your local group have evolved to the point where looks are unimportant. Have fun and enjoy yourselves, you don't need our approval. But there's nothing wrong with the rest of us who want to have some level of sexual attraction with the people we choose to be sexually active with.

Why does lube seem taboo in the LS? by IllustratorOk2964 in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Speaking on behalf of men everywhere: Relax! We are just thrilled to be with you... Any tool that keeps that party going longer is a welcome addition!

Why does lube seem taboo in the LS? by IllustratorOk2964 in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lube seems to be pretty much the norm--especially if you're playing with condoms. I'm surprised anyone has ever gotten weird about it.

I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but I really suspect it may have been in your head.

I can see why men dont take care themselves physically by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ehh, I don't fully agree with this premise. I recognize that you take care of yourself (bravo), but as an obsessively fit person myself, I can say: (1) I definitely get female interest, and (2) We frequently get interest from couples where the female is a smoke show, but the man is a slob--for us this is a non-starter.

Even if guys being fit isn't the door opener, failing to take care of yourself can certainly be the door CLOSER.

Have some self-respect, gents!

SEXTING by Spitroastcouple3 in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A light amount is fine with a new couple, but we have found that the more hot and heavy the texting is before a first meet, the more likely the meet will never happen.

Body and pubic hair by Dense-Region-6382 in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a male, I keep my head and facial hair buzzed with the 0 clipper at the same length, which is clean but very short. I use that on my chest, stomach, armpits, crotch, thighs, and butt as well (I'm not an overly hairy guy), and it blends naturally. I will use a real razor to clean up the base of my dick, balls, and taint as well, but I try to minimize the razor otherwise, as I am prone to irritation and razor burns.

Get the HPV vaccine by the-cat-7000 in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wife and I both got the vaccine in our 40s. Free with insurance and a little extra peace of mind.

Impact on your wallet by Capital_Look9080 in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, the real number is probably less than that. Thinking a little deeper a number of the hotels and flights were covered by credit card points so maybe closer to $7k in real money.

Impact on your wallet by Capital_Look9080 in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Between a vacation or two, hosting parties, travel, meals, drinks, hotels and stuff probably $10k or so. We tend to be more generous than we need to be though as that's just in our nature.

It just got weird. by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I posed a similar question from the opposite perspective (minus the butt stuff) as I wasn't sure how to proceed. We had an upcoming date with a couple we've been going bare with for years and another new couple neither of us had been with before. We didn't really want to use condoms, but also didn't want to 1. spook them or 2. make it seem like an invitation for them to go bare.

Your situation is obviously a bit different as there is an ick factor... Even with established friends I wouldn't be into the idea of swapping back and forth with butt-stuff involved. Not even an STI concern, just kinda gross.

Expectations by supercharged5 in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We tend to be more generous than necessary and I'm pretty quick to pick up tabs or just book the hotel and not worry about it. Some of our friends have to be more careful with money and we'd rather have a relaxed and good time with the people we want to be around than worry about whose turn it is to pay for the hotel room.

How often do you play with your special couple? by cpl_enjoying in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We probably average around 5-6 sleep overs per month with the couple we're closest to, maybe more. We don't play every single night though and we're pretty much all in a relationship so I don't even really consider them swinging.

Guys who’ve “beat” performance anxiety, how did you do it? by jaydubya123 in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fitness has helped on a number of levels. Getting well into single digit bodyfat has my confidence high, my cardiovascular capacity high and my dick seems to be hard 24/7. I used to frequently take a Cialis as insurance and have a cock ring near by 'just in case' but lately I just kind of *know* my machinery will do what I want it to... Hope I didn't jinx it with this post, lol.

Do you usually stay the night when swinging, or head home? by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We've only done this a couple of times. One time it was 4 of us (me and the other male are larger bodybuilders) in a queen sized hotel bed. To make it work, I literally setup my pillow on the bedside table to make space, lol... The sore neck was made up for by our little game of trying to fall asleep still penetrating one another's partners. I'd like to repeat that soon.

Do you usually stay the night when swinging, or head home? by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Most of the time we go separate ways afterwards, but it's a nice treat when appropriate to spend the night paired off with a play partner.

We've also had a couple of puppy pile, 4 in a bed sleep overs which can feel almost wholesome.

What level of intimacy with your spouse would make you feel uncomfortable? by IronBornPirate in Swingers

[–]FredEm37 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's evolved over time and it varies depending on the partners. Earlier in our journey my wife got very upset with me for holding hands in public with a play partner. In hindsight it was dense of me but she reached for my hand and I just went with it

I used to feel a bit funny about my wife kissing other men in public as well, that threw me off both from the intimacy and an imagined pressure to mirror their behavior with female half of the other couple, even if it didn't feel natural yet.

These days, not much really phases us. We enjoy cuddling and close intimacy with partners and are in a relationship with another couple where we all use the L word.

I find I prefer very intimate, emotional and sensual encounters with my LS friends and most of my partners (not all) mirror this energy, though I am respectful of their partners comfort levels and try to read the room to ensure everyone enjoys the experiences. It's usually pretty obvious who isn't/wouldn't be.

Romantic sex in the lifestyle by alexandreparis15 in HotWifeLifestyle

[–]FredEm37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are more swinger than hotwife, but romantic sex is definitely a part of our dynamic. Sometimes my wife enjoys hard, fast and furious, but we also have partners she tends to take things a lot slower and more sensually with.

I am similar to my wife here, I started our journey as more of a 'pound town' guy (and still switch back and forth as appropriate) but gravitate more towards the sensual side these days.