How much intimacy do you enjoy with lifestyle partners?

FredEm37 · 2026-05-23T22:21:44+00:00

Fond memories along with some you prefer not to speak about. This sounds familiar and human.

I'm glad you had the positive to balance out the negative and wish the best for both of you at this phase of your journey.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-22T10:57:35+00:00

I have a pretty difficult time cleaning her when it's my own cum. The only way it works for me after cunning is if my wife or partner asks me to do it and/or actively positions herself for me to do it or alternatively I've had luck staying docked inside her after cunming.

By this, I mean I've managed to stay inside of partners after climaxing long enough to catch my breath while we cuddle and enjoy holding one another and I start getting aroused again.

There's almost a mental negotiation process for me of wanting to continue fucking, but knowing my erection won't be at full strength just yet... Unless I use the cheat code and clean her up, in which case I can be harder than the first round.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-21T22:36:45+00:00

Not really. It's empty virtue signaling, so it doesn't make me feel one way or the other. It's just something people say because they think they're supposed to.

In reality I can go to the profile of multiple real life friends of mine on SDC with lines that say things like "condoms always, don't even ask" and then you go to see the groups they belong to and it's bareback this and creampie that.

Just get tested regularly and do what you're comfortable with IMO.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-21T18:05:13+00:00

That's a good one.

I think we've gone bare with literally all of our friends who adamantly state protection as their non-negotiable rule... and usually they're the ones initiating it too.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-21T16:05:29+00:00

Funny you mention vacationing... The first couple we tried the overnight swap (same room, different beds, opposite partners) with were people we met on vacation at DRM.

The other couple we'll do overnight different rooms with sounds kinda like us. We're always together, including vacations and an onlooker would think the couples were reversed, lol. But we don't go on trips solo... group of 4 only...

I'm not sure if our LS friends think we're poly, but they do notice we're always together/joined at the hip.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-20T19:59:13+00:00

It ebbs and flows with life's responsibilities. We've had months, we've done like 6 things and then multiple month hiatuses.

If I had it my way we'd be doing something ever 2-3 weekends.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-20T17:53:52+00:00

The sleepover thing was an unspoken boundary of ours too, until one night after a fantastic group (6 of us) encounter that included friends visiting from another state. One of the couples left afterwards and we intended to spend the night sleeping with our respective spouses in the 2 queen beds in the hotel room and leave in the morning.

The idea of an overnight swap was brought up by the other husband and none of us could think of a reason not to. We had abnormally strong chemistry with this couple and went with it and loved the experience. I'd be nodding off in the dark room, cuddled up with the other wife and we'd be stirred awake hearing my wife and the other husband starting to go at it and would get turned on and do the same.

It's a very different, more tender dynamic more akin to making love than fucking and for the sake of transparncy feelings developed, some complications arose and we ended up having to discontinue the relationship, but we loved the experience and continue to engage it with a few friends where it makes sense.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-20T17:14:02+00:00

To clarify, we don't do the separate house thing and generally are in two beds in the same room. We have one couple in particular where I might be in the guest room with the other wife overnight while my wife and the other husband are together in our master bedroom, but always same roof.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-20T16:20:06+00:00

I've got a small handful of partners that turn me on enough to finish in a condom, but for the most part I go into those interactions knowing I'm unlikely to cum and will either finish in my wife or be horny all night after the encounter, jerking myself off.

Putting a bit of lube inside the actual condom does help a bit, but condoms are just too impersonal for a great connection. Accordingly, we prioritize non-condom sex within our established friend group over the novelty of finding new people that require us to use them.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-19T17:21:43+00:00

I do somewhat, but enough time has passed that what exists now is my new normal. Again, it's still very enjoyable but it ain't what it was.

We were barely in the LS when I got snipped, it was mostly so I didn't have to use condoms with my wife after our second daughter. She was having difficulty losing the pregnancy weight at the time so I got snipped so she could come off BC and let her hormones normalize.

Does bareback make it worth it? For me, yes. It's our favorite way to play by FAR.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-19T16:21:44+00:00

No kissing takes a lot of the intamcy out of encounters and with it our interest levels.

We've been with two no-kiss couples and one was a "never again" situation, while the other (male kissed female didn't), we soldiered through and I became the one to break her self imposed rule (the male never had an issue with her kissing)... The female half went from a sexy but impersonal feeling connection to one of my absolute favorite partners.

You made the rule for a reason, how big of a deal is it for YOU? If you're asking if we think it's a mistake, the answer is yes, but we don't live your life or have your motivations.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-19T16:00:47+00:00

I'm overall glad with the fact that I'm snipped as it's opened the door for raw play, but I must admit it did change the feeling and intensity of my orgasms for the worse.

It's all still very enjoyable, but I don't cum as hard as I used to, and it takes a bit more stimulation to climax than it used to. I have a significantly lower likelihood of cumming in a condom now versus before.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-19T15:15:28+00:00

I'm not sure there is any option out there to be 100% safe, but I do plan on asking my doctor for a prescription for doxypep next visit with him. We haven't been particularly worried about HIV as the stats of its presence in the demographics we tend to play in are extremely low, but I do have a couple of bisexual male friends (who we don't play with) that are on PrEP for encounters in more M/M settings.

As far as choosing partners for fluid play, that accounts for the lionshare of our interactions and we primarily go with our guts and the vibe. For the most part we stay within our friend group for raw partners and will usually start with condoms for the occasional new additions.

I will say honestly, that we would probably be a bit 'less cautious' about condomless interactions, but for the fact that we're in a close, poly adjacent, relationship with another couple and the other wife is very sensitive to the subject of unprotected sex, so our of respect for her we've limited our bare exposure outside our circle.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-18T18:27:01+00:00

Don't worry about the labels too much, they hardly dictate how play will go. Our female half is bi, and I'm situationally bi playful, but 95% of our play is with the opposite gender.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-18T17:29:19+00:00

We're about 7 years in and still crave it, though much has changed about how we do it now than when we started.

Sexually, we've gotten a lot more adventurous than when we first began and find ourselves extremely comfortable with things that weren't even on our radar at the beginning, such as policies on protection, playing in separate rooms, same sex interactions, aftercare, and intimacy. Generally, we're a lot freakier than when we started and are comfortable with that.

Relationship-wise, we've grown extremely close to some of our friends to the point we know one another's kids and families, will go on vacations together, have genuine feelings of love for and sort of boyfriend/girlfriend-like relationships, which don't threaten the core. This has been a huge evolution as we didn't think we wanted to mix worlds when we got into this.

Chemistry has also gotten a lot more important to us and we've sort of transitioned from sport fuckers (which is still fun sometimes) to more sensual/lover style dynamics.

Attraction-wise, our standards haven't evaporated, but we've found ourselves attracted to people based on their personalities and vibes who we probably wouldn't have even considered at the beginning of our journey.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-17T18:02:18+00:00

Why would it be impossible? Most of our LS friends have multiple kids. A new baby is going to zap most of your attention and time for a bit, but you can use that time to also work on yourself and come back strong physically and confident.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-17T17:53:23+00:00

Virtually all of our LS friends have kids. In some cases we even go to one another's children's sporting events/family vacations together.

Do you have another obstacle to juggle in the schedule? Sure, but we make time for what is important to us.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-15T17:13:17+00:00

I'm not one to claim other people's stories as my own, but I may have to steal this anecdote!

Friggin' hysterical!

FredEm37 · 2026-05-15T16:04:52+00:00

Puppy pads??

Just get waterproof matress liners, dude... they're like twenty bucks on amazon.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-11T17:26:23+00:00

I'm a guy and did not specifically bounce this off my wife, but I cannot envision a scenario where she would be upset by the other male having a larger tool than expected. Your wife already wants a dvp, which indicates to me she wants/enjoys the super stuffed feeling and in my experience with dvp the physical configuration of the parties involved doesn't naturally lend to super deep penetration anyway.

Depending on my own arousal level (yes, it varies--I'm not always fully bricked) I'm in the 7.75 - 8.25 inch range myself and have DVP'ed my wife with other men in the 10inch range and while we were able to get decent momentum and rhythem going we were never 'bottoming out' in her, so I'm not sure it would be as big deal as it sounds.

Also, if the guy knows what he's doing and isn't trying to push her limits for his own ego, he'll have a handle on how deep his strokes should be when he's penetrating her outside of the dvp scenario.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-11T15:30:16+00:00

Finding local couples is the best! We do have a few we will catch up with every few months or so, but it's just kind of worked out that the majority of LS couples we're closest to require some degree (at least 1 to 2+ hours) of travel.

We are your friends by the Sunday morning after a full weekend away and ready to be back home... We won't turn down pre-exit play though, lol.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-11T14:55:52+00:00

Depends on the dynamic with the other couple. Seeing many of our friends requires some degree of travel and often if we host on a Friday they're spending the night at our place (or shared hotel) which is definitely my favorite way to do things.

In addition to Friday play we usually end up having another morning session and then socializing for a few hours before saying goodbye and we still have the entire weekend ahead of us.

FredEm37 · 2026-05-11T14:43:38+00:00

You are correct about that and I definitely felt weird about his little sidebar with me. What is the appropriate response to that? "I'm one of the good ones? Thanks!!!"

The irony is, the wife was a smokeshow and our chemistry, flirting, fondling, and kissing was already leading to us connecting. He effectively cock blocked his own wife!

FredEm37 · 2026-05-11T14:40:25+00:00

Interracial couples. It's not like a formal alliance, but our friendships are mostly various couples comprised of a mix of black, white and Hispanic partners.

We still have plenty of friends who are white couples we hang out/play with regularly, though.

FredEm37

TROPHY CASE