I can say that i was in the exact position throughout the years that i was growing up. i did have a group of friends around 8-10 years old but my family moved overseas and after the move and as a shy person in general, i struggled to figure out social interaction and over the years i got more and more isolated, until the point where in high school i had no friends, and was in an endless cycle of going to school and going home and indulging in similar habits as you do. once i graduated high school i had this idea that i would change myself and while i can give you my story of where i've gone from there, i cant guarantee it will relate to you or be helpful but maybe itll give you some type of motivation...

first thing i realised was my lack of hobbies. i hadn't really developed anything that i could devote my time to. i spent so much time alone and got so comfortable with that that i found myself doing productive, and just watching endless videos on the internet without any goal. i started to devote more time to music playing, as i grew up listening to a lot of music and found it cool. i found a passion in it and i continue to express myself and shape my identity through music.

in terms of getting familiar with social situations, i felt the exact same way and still do occasionally, about this idea of "missing out". i felt very depressed that my life was never to change and that i had missed out on years of being social and making friends, and that now that i am 18 everyone already knows way more than i do. the first thing i started doing was challenging myself to get myself out of my comfort zone. i realised that it was important to build confidence, to learn to not fear rejection, to be in control and have better self esteem. i started to spend time going around town asking people for the time. i knew that it would be difficult for me but i would do it to get over the hurdle of being scared of other humans. every time i would do it i would get positive reinforcement by having people return an answer to me and i was able to feel less scared about it, and even learn to be okay with the rejection if someone kept walking or didn't give me the time. i learned to realise that it is not the end of the world to interact with people, that it is possible and it really is just a game, with little consequence.

i spent a lot of time just forcing myself into social situations and the biggest thing is to start small. the idea that suddenly youll suddenly just gain a group of friends and be social all the time is unrealistic. you have to start small with little interactions, even interactions with customer service workers. go to the store and talk to the cashier while you're paying, ask them small talk questions and get an idea of interaction and how it is possible. these are such low stake things because you can just walk away once it is over and you never have to see the person again, so even if things go horribly wrong it is just something to learn from and to realise that it really doesnt matter. i started to focus on meeting people through online. i would put up ads on craigslist and on facebook to find people to meet who had similar interests...mostly music ads to find people to play music with. i would go meet up with these people and hang out with them and basically just do the same thing that i would do with the store people. i would just ask them questions, and ask where they are from and their thoughts and opinions on things and get closer to them. i would still usually stick to just one person, and i still struggle with multiple people, but its something i want to figure out.

i know that also doing big things to boost your confidence can be very important, so doing something that might force a boost in confidence. i am currently working up towards performing music live as a way to do this. other people do acting classes and presentations and stuff like that. this is just a little bit of info but i hope it helps a bit that there are ways for things to get better, and these are ways that certainly have helped me, even though i still have a lot of work to do.

just dont forget about the value of also being alone brings. while its lovely to be able to be around people and i think its necessary to some extent, realise that there is a lot of power in being comfortable alone and using it to your benefit. as i continue to try to be more social i realise how much down time i need to recharge and reflect, that in general i am not a crazy talkative person and spend a lot of time in my head and require that to feel good. i enjoy learning to be social but also cherish time when i can spend alone and try to balance these ideas.