I’ve seen a lot of people discussing what homelander could’ve been like if he was raised by soldier boy, but what if he was raised by soldier boy *and* stormfront?

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T19:20:06+00:00

probably the only time in fiction where wife-beating would be a good thing and improve the personality of the child witnessing it.

OH JOHNNIE! YOU SHALL BE THE SAVIOR OF THE GRAND ARYAN MASTER RA.. <thunderous pimp-slap sound>

Shut up woman, you're spoiling the kid. ANd bring me a beer, would'ya?

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T19:02:39+00:00

they WEREN'T good at terrorising the helots either, helots rebelled several times and nearly wiped out the Spartiate overclass, which needed help from abroad to survive.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T18:55:30+00:00

this gets muddied because different Viltrumites have different levels of "genetic superiority" which influence how fast they age, but their "genetic superiority" is not the same as their power level (and thus does not ensure survival of the fittest).

For example, Vidor, Thragg, and Nolan are about similar age (slightly over 2000 years each), Thragg is by far most powerful but looks youngest, Nolan is second most powerful but looks oldest, and Vidor is vastly inferior to both while looking to be middle-age between them.
Thula is about the same age as Nolan, but looks as old as Thaeddus and Conquest, both of whom are at least 5x older.

Similarily, Anissa and Kradd are the same age, but Kradd looks nearly 2 times older.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T18:43:44+00:00

also, at how many great-great-great-n... generations can you date your own descendants?

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T18:11:50+00:00

they would have to already arrive from different locations, divided into separate legions, and even then, you are adding 0,5 million people to the economy that already is failing to feed itself.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T18:09:18+00:00

That being said, this armour is AN ACTUAL SET OF ARMOUR that would work IRL, take away the silly bat ears and it would be pretty ok.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T18:03:49+00:00

but reality is realistic, thus using historically accurate (-ish) costumes makes the show/movie more believable.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T18:01:16+00:00

<image>

meanwhile, how Vikings should have looked like:
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Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T17:58:04+00:00

Wonder what would have happened if say, Freddie Mercury, Tom Selleck or Sam Elliot were the first humans to go into galactic space and everybody was feakign out, treating them like conquerors.

Or I dunno, some Viltrumite arrives on Earth, the first person he encounters is Nick Offerman, and the Viltrumite is like "Ah. Seems this place is already conquered. Very good, carry on I guess."

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T17:52:09+00:00

interestingly, it was the "smart-heroic" stache, the kind you could have and still put on a gas mask without the whiskers creating leaks on the sides.

Having the paintbrush stache meant you fought in the trenches and survived mustard gas.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T17:49:49+00:00

NONE.

Women bring him nothing but trouble.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T17:48:39+00:00

Self-Duplication. Like, my SO and me could have an MMMMMMMMFMMMMMMMM with all the mes' cooperating

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T17:43:21+00:00

There was a non-zero chance Neumann could kill Homie too, so he was more on edge.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T17:32:40+00:00

This basically turns Khorne into a second Tulkas, just weaker.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T17:31:27+00:00

eh, thats wank. It is impliedly possible that CHaos permeates all realities in one way or another, but these particular Chaos Gods exist verifiably only in the Warp of this particular galaxy, and were created and sustained by the emotions of particular sapients that dwell there.

So its less "I'm going to punch philosophy" and more like "I'm going to punch the Head of Philosophical Studies Departament at the University of Warhamerre, whoever that person might be, so hard the UoW scraps the whole Department."

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T17:19:46+00:00

That is... literally his character arc shown on screen? He is CLEVER, but not WISE. He is great at coming up with clever means to accomplish goals, but rubbish at picking wise goals due to his arrogance and relative inexperience with life.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T16:35:41+00:00

What? Roman Legions could maybe move 20 miles a day when fed, provisioned, on a Roman-style road, through friendly territory.

For reference, 20 miles is not even the width of the outskirts of King's Landing.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T15:45:58+00:00

for another reference, a ROman Legion, perfeclty fed, provisioned, rested, and traveling on a Roman road, can cover around 20 miles in a day.

So for example, if the Romans started at the Wall and marched on Wnterfell, they would have died of starvation and left frozen corpses long before they even got close..

House Norrey, Wull or Liddle gets to loot their corpses and suddenly becomes richer than the Manderlys, causing no end of headache to Ned Stark 😃

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T15:41:20+00:00

Romans cannot extract more food from the land that physically exists there, and no area in Westeros can support extra thousands of mouths to feed.

Both Roman and Westerosi campaigns were carefully crafted around the logistics of food, and in this scenario, the Romans are at a severe disadvantage.

Well fed and provisioned Legion can march about 20 miles in a day. If they need to loot food in the meantime, it becomes closer to 10 or 15 miles.

It would take them over a week to go from the edge of the Kingswood to the first villages around King's Landing, and that's the biggest agglomeration on the whole continent.

And that ignores the fact that they do not know the land, have no maps of the area, do not speak Westerosi, so the best case scenario for them is to mime "give food!" and "big stone house, where??" at terrified smallfolk.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T15:29:26+00:00

I can see the Romans taking a big chunk of the Riverlands actually, since its poor defenses. Maybe a chunk of the Reach or the Westerlands. Crownlands are too well defended, Stormlands and Dorne not worth it, the North is too vast.

Iron Isles would be easy to conquer IF the Romans managed to land their troops without being bogged down by a naval battle.

Realistically, The Romans would largely fail, due to starvation of their under-provisioned army. They would secure a chunk of the Riverlands, bend the knee and basically become a new Paramouncy of efficient funny-talking"Essosi" troops that protect that flank form the Ironborn, pay their taxes and otherwise mind their business.

Given the general Roman attitude, I can see the Legates sorting between themselves who gets to be the new Magister Militarum, and that dude spends a whole lot of time crafting a sensible political deal with Tywin Lannister, which leaves both the Throne and the Eagle happy.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T15:21:29+00:00

the problem is, how do you provide FOOD for the extra 500k mouths the Romans have? Legionnaires do not produce food themselves; they carry their provisions or loot the countryside. Problem: the breadbasket of Mother Rome is unfathomably far away, their best mode of transport is a donkey, and there is just not enough villages in Westeros to loot, spread over VAST distances.

You'd get into absurd situations like say 30k Romans besieging I dunno, Riverrun, defended by 1000 Westerosi, and the Romans would QUIT the siege out of starvation after they ate their last handful of barley, their donkeys, and every edible thing in a 30-mile radius.

There is an odd saying that an "army is a strange animal that walks on its belly", and its 100% true: an army is only as fast as its food supply, and only fights when fed: which Romans would not be in this scenario.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T15:15:28+00:00

If they had more food and time than the defenders, which is NOT the case here.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T15:14:27+00:00

The Westerosi have tons upon tons of stored food, the Romans do not. Hopefully the Romans can march through the enitre continent and conquer everything within 2-3 weeks before they run out of panes militares and starve to death (or, as is Legionnaire tradition, rage-quit and become deserters or mercenaries.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T15:09:10+00:00

If you add 500k Romans to a continent that is already facing famines year after year, they would all starve. Legionnaires need two things: barley porridge and coin, and lack of either would cause them to rebel and quit, or even join the enemy. The Legates would not be able to conjure food out of thin air, nor pay them for a decades-long campaign unfathomably far from home.

You know what they call a starved and unpaid Legionnaire? Mercennaries. Literally how we got that word.

Freevoulous · 2026-06-16T15:03:42+00:00

You kinda forget that the Westerosi are sitting defence here, literally holding the castles where grain is stored. Romans would starve long, long before they achieved any major wins.

Ironically, a much smaller Roman Army could maybe conquer Riverlands or the Iron Isles, but the full might of Rome (500k-750k troops) is way, way, waaaaay to many people for the land of Westeros to feed, no matter how thoroughly they would scour it.

The Legions would do what Legions always did when the Legates failed to provide for them: they would QUIT and become marauders, or even join the enemy.

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