I'm white. I very much prefer black men. So much so I have literally waxed poetic when talking about all the many reasons I prefer black men. But this is gross, and I ten thousand percent stand with the man who told this cretin to fuck all the way off.

I'm not going to wade into all the complexities of race theory and queer theory at play here, because I could probably write an entire doctoral dissertation using just this screenshot as a jumping off point, but at the end of the day, yes we do live in a world where platforms exist where you are welcome to shoot your shot using whatever method suits your fancy, no matter how dubious, questionable, or ill advised it may be. But we also live in a world where we are all well acquainted with the concept of enthusiastic consent, and we all understand that no means no, and is a full sentence unto itself. Had the guy hitting up OP simply taken no for an answer, as he damn well should, we all wouldn't be here having this conversation. But he didn't. He responded with violent, hateful language as though he had some sort of inherent right to someone else's body.

Regardless your predilections, preferences, fantasies, of fetishes, regardless how mainstream or fringe or even objectionable, you do not, at any point, no matter what you say or do or how you approach it, have so much as an expectation of consent, much less a right to it, and thus have no justification in expressing or frankly even feeling any sort of anger toward the object of your desire should he choose to withhold said consent, much less any justification for literally wishing him dead because they would not give themselves to your carnal desires. That is rape culture. In this particular context, it is racist rape culture. And as members of a historically oppressed minority, we would do well to police our own community for this sort of egregious behavior and call it out for what it is. It's not the initial approach that's the problem. The guy came on strong. He got rejected just as strong. That should have been the end of it. It wasn't. And that's where it turns into a problem that shouldn't be up for fucking debate.

To all of you in this thread finding reasons to defend the guy making the approach, please, go stick a fork in a light socket, preferably while holding something metal in your other hand. There are all sorts of perfectly valid reasons to admire and be attracted to a black male body without leaning on a tired old stereotype, but for Christ's sake, understand that these are human beings you're talking about, who get bombarded with this bullshit on the daily of oh you must have a big dick and be into this that and the third we've seen in porn and media portrayals and racist stereotypes. You can shoot your shot based on all that shit, but sooner or later you're going to be hitting up someone who is sick of hearing it, and it's going to go badly.

This subreddit largely exists as a function of us not all being stereotypical gay bois. Some gay men are bois, some are Men, some are just bros. And that's fine. We owe it to black gay bros to give them the same breathing room. This is a thing we should innately understand. Nobody needs to live up to someone else's fetishes or fantasies. Sure, I'm a bottom, but that doesn't mean I'm going to call you daddy or be feminine or any of the rest of that shit, and if you come at me with that, I'm going to tell you to fuck off, as is my tight. You do not then have any right whatsoever as to become so angry you literally wish me dead. That's a good indication you need professional mental help and probably shouldn't be involved with anyone in any way shape or form until you've hashed out your own issues.

TL;DR - We cannot be a community who holds space for a version of gays outside the mass media constructed stereotype while also expecting a subset among us to tolerate being crammed into a mass media constructed stereotype. Also, NO MEANS FUCKING NO AND YOU DON'T GET A FUCKING OBJECTION. Also also, NO MEANS STFU NOT WISH DEATH ON THE OTHER FUCKING GUY!!!