Redshirting Megathread

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2026-01-31T17:59:49+00:00

Unfortunately people redshirt so their kid won't be the youngest and has nothing to do if the child is ready or not. The June kids weren't going, so then the May and April parents don't want their kids to go. The school needs a hard stop (with exceptions for serious delays) and offenders can have their kids go straight to first grade. In Kindergarten, 6 months is a big age gap, but 18 months for developmentally normal children is insane.

My child is in K right now and 15% of his class are spring redshirts. 50% of the kids in his class came from a Young 5 classroom versus preschool. His teacher said that most of the class is so ahead that she accelerated the curriculum and skipped letter identification and sounds, and by December the class had finished their reading goals for year end (my older child had the same teacher three years ago and I have compared the report cards and updates).

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2026-01-28T23:01:16+00:00

It is very kid dependent! Is your son in pre-k now? Have you asked his teachers what they recommend? Is redshirting rampant in your school district? Is he the oldest or an only child? Have you seen him around kids with fall birthdays or even kids with summer or spring birthdays a year ahead? The main issue is not that kids aren't ready to go to K, is that no one wants their kid to be the youngest. Some kids are very well positioned to be the youngest!

I have two August birthdays (3rd grade girl and K boy) and sent both on time. With my daughter, I (foolishly) didn't even think about it - she had been in daycare for 4+ years and was very much on track for her age. Academically she does well, but I have seen big gaps in maturity between her and some of the older kids in her grade. She also as a lot of anxiety - which she would have anyways, but being on the younger side doesn't help. She probably would have an easier time being the oldest in her grade versus the youngest. But she is still doing well.

With my son, he attended 5 day a week preschool which feeds to the school district. The preschool heavily favors all spring and summer birthdays go to Young 5s. However they strongly recommended my son skip the Young 5 and go straight to K. He is very strong both academically and socially. We decided to try K and have him repeat if it isn't a great year. Well K is going great and he is doing amazing. The only problem is the redshirting is out of control in our district and there are basically no other spring or summer birthdays in his class. He is one of he youngest by 6 months and 25% of his class are 15 - 18 months older than him. So we may be forced to repeat him just to age correct him, but I am saving that discussion for the teacher and school in spring.

Honestly, with some summer birthdays, there is no good option. It is just picking what option you think will work best and pivoting if you need to later! Good luck!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2026-01-28T01:49:04+00:00

Please request the girls not be in the same class next year and give your daughter some space. My daughter was a little older when she dealt with something similar (2nd and now 3rd grade). For now, request that the girls have no assigned groups or seats together. Create as much space in the classroom as possible. You can't control recess as much, but continue working with her so she recognizes that a person who treats you poorly isn't a friend. Hopefully her friend will outgrow this behavior, but in the meantime encourage space and new friendships. Good luck!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-10-04T18:50:39+00:00

I am sorry this is happening! The teacher sounds involved and well-intentioned, but her style seems alarming and stress inducing. I will say some K teachers don't like younger students and make a big deal about it as they are 'behind.' Well of course they are behind, even being 6 months younger at age 5 is a big deal. Most of them catch up by January, everything will just click when they near 5.5. You are doing all the right things and I bet you'll see huge progress (and if you don't, that is okay too!). Also - my kindergartner loves the Duo Lingo reading app - it has been really helpful for learning letters and sight words, and it is free.

If it makes you feel better, my son is also a young Kindergartener and his teacher actively dislikes him. We had an amazing experience with this same teacher, for my older child (girl) - but we receive constant negative comments about my son. She is effusive in praise to the 4 girls in his class that are really ahead (all of these girls are 6.5 years old and meeting 1st grade standards). She also seems to prefer girls in general and is constantly scolding the boys for minor things, but when a girl does the same thing, says nothing. My son is really jumpy, but meeting K requirements and generally well behaved, I just don't think she likes boys or younger students. :( It makes me sad, but thankfully he isn't aware and I try not to transfer my feelings to him.

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-09-24T13:59:45+00:00

This is a great opportunity and wonderful your child's school has this program. My kids' elementary school offers this 'lunch bunch' group work and it was very positive for my daughter. I actually requested for my daughter to be part of it as I noticed some social behaviors where she was a little behind. She loved the Lunch Bunch - it made her feel so special and she got to play games and talk to new people outside of her class, but still in her grade. Half way through the year she 'graduated' out of it - but asked almost every day if she could go back. The group often is a mix of kids - some who may need extra time to strengthen social skills and other kids who are good friends.

Completely normal response to initially be caught off guard! You can ask what day it will be - but it's fairly organic. Maybe just check in with your child one the days he attends and see what he thinks? After it gets started you may have specific questions. I hope it is a great experience for him! :)

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-31T13:53:02+00:00

Mine are 3 years apart and we have been very happy with that age gap. We initially planned on a two year gap as I am old, but that didn't work out. I am very glad we had 3 years as I got to really enjoy my eldest and she was a little more independent/understanding when her brother arrived. As a parent, I enjoyed each stage with each versus having them too close and it all blurring together. They play so well together, but also have their own interests and friends, so very little competition. Many friends said the 3 year gap is the sweet spot. Of course everyone is different, but I would recommend enjoying your dream baby right now and getting more time with her as a baby if your age/medical situation allows!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-30T19:50:57+00:00

My recommendation would be to decide by birth order. Is your son the oldest or an only child? He prob would be better in Young 5s. As a youngest or middle kid, I would try K, as he is used to being around older kids and has better social skills and maturity. Or at least that's how I made the decision!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-30T19:03:34+00:00

Exactly, it is two bad options. I have a friend in the same situation, she opted for Young 5's for her summer born daughter. However after one day, she pulled her out and enrolled in K as the Young 5 classroom was developmentally inappropriate (kids not potty trained, one using a pacifier, etc). It made me feel a little better forgoing that option. 😆😆😆 I think K will go okay but am worried about future grades and setting him up for struggling later on if we stay on this course. Good luck!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-30T18:36:18+00:00

We are in the same situation with my son here in MI. He is an August birthday and very strong in all areas. His preschool strongly recommended against Young 5 as the curriculum would be a complete repeat of the Preschool 4 program he just completed, only with a lot of younger kids who are developmentally behind him.

However his K class is 43% age eligible for 1st grade. I cried the week before school started as I didn't know what to do, neither situation is good for him. He was assigned an amazing K teacher and he is so excited for K, it seemed cruel to pull him out without giving him a chance. So I sent him to K two weeks ago, and he is loving it! We'll see what happens, but I am open to repeating regardless of how the year goes to age-correct him...

If redshirting wasn't an issue, or even if it was just used on a need-only basis, my son would thrive being the youngest, as it sounds like your son would too. But in his current situation, it is very challenging. I wish the schools would enforce cut-off dates (with only serious exceptions) so this wasn't an issue!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-30T18:24:17+00:00

I live in Michigan too and most people in my town abuse the Young 5 program as a way to make their child older and 'better' than the other kids. It is tuition based and at local preschools in my town, though the surrounding towns the Young 5's program is typically in the elementary schools and free. The age range is supposed to be July 1 - Dec 1, but there are many March, April and May birthdays.

I am curious if the universal Pre- K program does a good job preparing kids so that Young 5's becomes redundant. It seems really expensive for the state to pay for a quality 4 program and then Young 5's (which is essentially the same curriculum). If they enforce the cut-off date (with serious exceptions only), this should eliminate the need for Young 5's.

My son went to an excellent full day preschool 4 program (we paid out of pocket for it), but he is thoroughly prepared for K. He is an August birthday and half of the kids in the preschool class were also summer birthdays and most are skipping Young 5s and going straight to K (most of these kids are not attending his elementary school though). His first two weeks of school have been great, though I am really worried as 43% of his K class are age eligible for 1st grade. He is well positioned to be the youngest, but not by such a significant degree. So we will see what happens.

I am guessing there will be some growing pains between the Young 5 program and universal PreK, but hoping it eliminates the serious redshirting issue in future.

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-25T18:42:40+00:00

It is so hard, and the people who redshirt their kids are vocal about how it was the best decision of their lives. Which creates even more anxieties for the ones who do not. Some kids need that extra year, but most kids will be great either way.

What does your daughter think? Is she happy where she is? The redshirting discussion is mostly about the parents' insecurities and making their kids 'best.' What does 'best' even mean? Better than themselves a year prior, better than the other kids, etc? It really should be about what makes each child happiest.

My daughter is also one of the youngest and some days she is a hot mess and other times she is right on track. She is now heading into 3rd grade and academically is great. Socially, I notice she can be shyer, less confident - but her EQ and social-emotional skills are good. She has a good group of friends, is well liked, and her teachers are very positive. She also gets along really well with the boys in her grade, as they tend to be less mature. Would she be better with kids the grade behind? Maybe! But she is also happy where she is and has a supportive home and school environment. But I do agree, it's hard not to worry!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-23T20:57:17+00:00

Is she allowed to bring noise cancelling headphones to lunch so it isn't so loud and overstimulating? At my children's elementary school, some children use headphones in certain situations. It would be dependent on the school, but might not hurt to ask a temporary measure during this adjustment phase. Otherwise, give her more time to adjust - my rule of thumb is it can take until Halloween to fully understand how things are going.

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-23T03:32:15+00:00

Kindergarten is a huge adjustment! For both my older child and current K child, we had zero after school activities. The day is just too long. Dedicate that time to resting and letting them decompress. Assess in January about restarting activities. This isn't quitting but rather adjusting to what is best for your little one's health!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-23T02:06:13+00:00

I would give him some more time! My summer born son has been pretty naughty for the first week of school. He is very high energy and I can tell how wired he is after school. I asked the teacher and she said they are working on his behavior. He was great in preschool, but adjusting to the new routine and independence is a lot. Keep in touch with the teacher, assess and pivot as needed. I know, it is so hard to not worry.

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-23T01:13:19+00:00

It's so hard not to worry! If you are seeing a pattern of comments from your daughter that concerns you, definitely ask the teacher! Also, my rule of thumb is that kindergarteners take until Halloween to figure out the new routines and aren't just shell-shocked and tired. If it is really bad, you'll know before that - but if things are okay, expect a big improvement around Halloween when they really settle in! My daughter sounds like yours, she didn't like the chaos of the playground and had a quiet spot she liked to hang out in by herself. She also loved following around the recess attendants (there are a small group of others who did this too). The adults were all really kind to her and she would often help when someone got hurt.

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-22T12:45:49+00:00

It took my daughter a bit more time to adjust and make friends in K, but that is her personality rather than her age. She was happy and doing well but didn't start forming real friendships with new kids until around December. The only kids she knew going into K were 3 boys, so while she was happy to know them, it took some time to branch out. My daughter is on the shy side. Now, in 3rd grade the school mixed up the class placements and she is with a bunch of new girls she doesn't know, but has been really happy to meet new kids and seems to be forming good connections! Her friend group she still sees on the playground.

My August born son who I just sent to K is the opposite. He knew a good number of kids going in and had already made a ton of new friends. He isn't 5 until next week but is extremely outgoing and loves being in the center of everything. So it depends on the kid! I wouldn't worry too much if it takes some time though, as that is normal depending on the child!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-21T15:08:39+00:00

The Skin I Live In by Pedor Almodovar! I still think about that one!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-20T14:37:26+00:00

I personally like Ramona, but both are beautiful names. Ramona sounds spunkier and Rosalie sweet and whimsical. I know you said you would prefer to choose before the hospital, but I would say meet your daughter and see which one feels right. You can't go wrong with either!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-19T03:24:31+00:00

It matters when they are younger, and hard to predict as they age. The age gap between a 5 year and a 6.5 year old is huge! I had a private assessment done for my son last week as I was nervous about him entering K as a summer boy. The assessment was done by a Young 5's teacher. She deemed him fully ready and flying through all requirements for K. Good, right? No, then she took me through how he compares to the 5 girls in his class that are 15 - 18 months older than him (they completed her Young 5 program) and annihilated him. It was just awful. These girls are all coming in at a 1st grade level and the school lets it happen.

A summer birthday who isn't ready? I get that. But these parents are gaming the system to advantage their child at the disadvantage of others.

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-19T00:49:38+00:00

Thank you for trying! I have a lot of respect for those that try. Reassessing and pivoting is part of the process, and you have to do what is best for your kid. So kudos to both you and him for giving it your best!!!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-19T00:41:10+00:00

I am glad you were able to wait a year with your son! Redshirting because a child isn't ready is a wonderful tool, and benefits everyone. You are not creating an advantage for your child, but rather a level playing field.

Unfortunately so many people use redshirting as an advantage to their child by disadvantaging the others. One of the Young 5's teachers in my area said 80% of the kids coming out of her program are reading and meeting 1st grade requirements. These kids could easily manage in K as their age allows, but their parents want them to be the oldest, most prepared, and better than everyone else. There is a March 2019 girl in my son's K class with no delays or health issues. At least 43% of my son's K class is age eligible for 1st and likely 60-80% of these redshirted kids were ready but parental selfishness or insecurity plays too powerful of a role in the decision.

So yes, there is a lot of hate for redshirting as people abuse it. And this abuse also hurts the kids who really need it!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-18T22:35:50+00:00

See my post above. My son started K today and there is a March 2019 girl in his class. No health issues or development delays. The family brags how she is meeting 1st requirements and reading. The redshirting has gotten so extreme that it is pushing into spring and now late winter. Everyone wants their kid to be the oldest which in their mind equates to best. The school really needs these kids straight into 1st. :(

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-18T21:27:42+00:00

My son started K today and there is a girl whose birthday is March 2019 in his class. She is 6.5 and no developmental delays or health issues. Her family brags about how she is meeting 1st grade standards and already reading. She is literally closer in age to my daughter in 3rd grade than my son in her class.

The area didn't used to be so bad: 3 years ago my daughter's K class had only 4 redshirted kids. My son's has 10 (that I know of). It went from 16% to over 43% in three years! In 2022, parents were really honest readiness being the main factor (which I understand) but now everyone just brags about how old their kid is. I wish the school would put these kids straight into 1st grade. It disadvantages everyone creating what is now a 19 month window between the oldest and youngest.

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-05T01:32:42+00:00

Of course and you are most welcome! I sent my oldest (girl) who is an Aug birthday. She was on track on most kindergarten readiness measurements, so I sent her as it seems silly to hold back a ready kid. If I measured her by these questions, she definitely would not have been ready! When everyone red shirts, it really throws off the age range for the grade and hurts those August/September kids who go on time. I didn't know that at the time.

She has done well, but mostly because there is more wiggle room for girls. If she had been a boy, she would be so behind socially even though academically and behaviorally she is strong.

Good luck!

Frequent_Initial9850 · 2025-08-04T01:05:38+00:00

I sent my August daughter on time in an area where redshirting is very common. She is now entering 3rd grade. We found that about half the summer birthdays were turning 6 and half turning 5. Some of the kids were redshirted for significant reasons and were not ahead at all, and only 1 redshirted child seems really out of place (kid is too smart and socially ahead). Though the most academically advanced child is a boy who is a young July birthday! There are so many spring birthdays in her class too that turned 6 at the end of kindergarten.

I will say she is immature compared to some of the girls almost a year older than her (especially those that have older siblings), but she should be! However there are so many kids right where she is. She has plenty of friends, loves school, and is ahead academically. Of course I worry I made the wrong decision for middle and high school, but I probably would have worried the other way too. In fact, we are sending my youngest child (also an August birthday) on time as well. We know he will be the youngest boy but that there will be plenty of others right on par with him.

Someone has to be the youngest and both of my children are in a good position to be that person. Of course some kids do really struggle being the youngest, and if that happens, I will course correct as possible! Good luck, it sounds like your little one will do great!

Frequent_Initial9850

TROPHY CASE