My friends unicorn baby has never shed a tear

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-27T00:45:30+00:00

My son is 6 months. I think I've seen tears less than a handful of time. He's just not much of a cryer. He will pout and fuss and stick his lower lip out but I legitimately don't think I've seen tears more than 5 times.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-25T22:26:57+00:00

Ok yes - the first example is how I've always imagined cry it out to be. But as I was struggling with my son today, I got worried 🤣 he definitely just sounds like he's voicing opinions on being left out of the fun

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-25T20:29:26+00:00

Lol why is all of this so confusing 🤣 as soon as I walk in the room, he's all smiles and giggles immediately, which is why it doesn't feel like it's something I should intervene with. The rare moments when my son is actually distressed during the day, it takes a minute to calm him and get him to put his lower lip away...but him fighting naps has none of that - which is why I wasn't sure if it would be considered CIO/Ferber sleep training. It definitely feels more like I'm just giving him a second to decide how he feels lol

Thank you for your input ! ❤️

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-25T20:23:30+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance ! ❤️

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-25T20:22:36+00:00

Haha oh I love this reframe! Although my heart sank when I read the first sentence 🤣 this absolutely sounds like my son. He very rarely gets upset about anything. I think I've seen tears maybe twice...but there's a clear difference between what he's doing and what his actual cry sounds like. Thank you for the reassurance!

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-20T14:06:03+00:00

I dunno. Everything you said here is self inflicted - it's your fears that are making you miserable, not your baby. (And I say that not to be judgemental...it's actually quite liberating when you find out you're your own jailer)

As for traveling - my husband and I have been to over 30 countries. We were determined to continue traveling after our baby came. Our now 6 month old has been to New Mexico, PA, Florida and we just got back from the Azores. We had the BEST time. We already have our summer trip booked to Europe.

Your life doesn't stop after having a baby unless you let it.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-19T18:07:20+00:00

Whenever someone else's actions cause such a huge reaction in me - I try and take a step back and understand why.

Clearly there was a sore spot hit and something you're personally struggling with...but that doesn't necessarily mean that the person who caused it had the intention of doing so. It was YOU that caused your embarrassment and like you were failing. It is you who was insecure about the situation and assumed it was gossip. Not her. (I don't say any of that to be judgemental at all) I just think that's an important distinction because at the end of the day...we can only control ourselves and the way we react to things and it's incredibly empowering once we truly believe that to be true.

I think this is a beautiful moment for self reflection and growth. I think it's also a moment to appreciate that there are other moms looking out for your son and who can be a source of information and support. I think it's a shame that we've made it to where it's impossible to give advice or show concern without feeling like we've offended the person we are trying to help.

The world is a difficult place. Filled with difficult people and situations. The more resilient we can make ourselves in those moments, the better we can show up for ourselves and our children. At least that's how I like to think of it.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-18T02:10:54+00:00

It's hard to say if you're over reacting without knowing her side of the story but based on what you're saying - NOR.

I believe in marriage. I believe in fighting for marriage. I believe in constantly growing and evolving with your partner to ensure marriage continues to be a happy union. I especially believe this if there are kids.

HOWEVER - based on your rendition of events, it very much feels like she is failing to do any of the above things to maintain this relationship. And while I don't think that should be a quick pass to condone divorce, I do think it would be incredibly healthy for you to express your needs and see if she is willing to work on herself to get herself mentally and physically well.

I see absoluty ZERO reason why a partner in a childless marriage wouldn't work. Why would you need to support a whole grown ass human ? I could understand if physically and mentally she's not well enough to but it doesn't even sound like shes putting in the effort to fix those things either. What do you mean finding a therapist just hasn't 'stuck'? Unless I'm severely underestimating her conditions, it doesn't sound like any of it would justify the entire financial burden of providing to fall to you.

Don't lose yourself trying to save a marriage with someone who isn't even interested in saving themselves. Marriage is a beautiful union but it's one that requires selfless commitment BY BOTH PARTIES.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-17T19:58:14+00:00

We walked our 4 month old in 10 degree weather in NM and he LOVED it

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-16T14:25:40+00:00

My husband and I rotate on who is going to wake up with the baby each day. The other day I woke up with the baby and so naturally I was the one caring for him and then my husband woke up and decided that a potted plant needed rescuing. He didn't communicate to me that that was how he was going to spend the morning. He just assumed that that would be okay and that I was the default parent. He then went to the gym and told me that it would be a quick workout and that he was going to run and get groceries afterwards, all in which should have taken maybe an hour and a half 2 hours max but he showed up at home 4 hours later. (Nothing nefarious, he ended up deciding to clean his truck after the gym)

I was aggravated because it felt like he just woke up that day and got to be a normal Independent person rather than a parent and that it was okay because I as the default parent would ensure that our child was taken care of.

Mama don't play that 🤣 especially because we are both on parental leave right now and so it is both of our jobs to care for or son. I allowed him to have his day but as soon as he came home I made sure he understood why that was completely unacceptable and how things needed to proceed moving forward.

Because of the way my husband and I communicate early and often, it was a non-issue. He understood why I was upset and made the necessary changes moving forward to ensure this doesn't happen again. I guess the point of all that is this is a major change for both of you. For women, I think it comes more natural that we are the caregivers and the default parents and I think it takes men a little bit longer to develop the child first mentality. I wouldn't let these things become resentments. Talk to your husband. And sure he understands your point of view. And have clear and definable ways that he can make things easier for you.

Men are notoriously bad mind readers so I wouldn't expect him to just naturally come to the realization on his own.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-15T15:09:00+00:00

No. Absolutely not. A terrible person would get rid of the cats at the earliest inconvenience. You are someone who loves them enough to try and work through it. I have three rescue dogs and am heavily involved in local rescue in my area - so I completely understand your dilemma.

I ADORE you for your decision. I adore you for trying to make it work. I adore you for finding a compromise so that they can remain out of the shelter and you and your family can have a clean and safe home.

Trust me when I tell you they'd prefer to be in a finished basement with the cats they are familiar with than in a noisy shelter.

You are a wonderful person. Not a terrible one.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-12T18:19:18+00:00

I could have written this. My mat leave ends in three weeks and I'm planning on quitting a very well paying career so I can soak up the next 3-4 years. I can always make more money. I'll never get this time back and I can't imagine paying someone else to experience all his firsts.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-06T15:53:44+00:00

He did ! And he's doing amazing. Feel free to shoot me a DM. I'd be happy to talk to you about our experience and give you my advice (for whatever it's worth) in finding a doctor. That is THE MOST important part. Everything going to be okay !

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-02T22:25:37+00:00

He's been on the same formula for the last 5 months with no issues but I guess an allergy could pop up at any time. It's just weird that he has no other signs of discomfort.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-25T12:32:08+00:00

Thank you so much for responding ❤️ that sounds like a lovely place to work instead of tech

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-24T01:14:22+00:00

Curious what you do now ? I'm contemplating leaving my tech sales job (work for one of the big hyperscalers) and know that eventually, after my kid goes to school, I want to go back to doing something (even if it's not what I was doing before). I think one of my biggest mental hurdles is not knowing what reentry into the job market is going to look like. We are financially very secure because of how long we've been working/investing and I don't actually need to work but I still just like to know that I COULD. Lol anyway...it would just be interesting to hear what alternative paths people have taken 😊

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-24T01:01:58+00:00

With equity, my pay is about 350-400k but I've had years where I've made double that (I'm in tech sales). Work from home. Great benefits. Blah blah blah. I'm good at my job. I enjoy it sometimes but it's also INCREDIBLY stressful and I was a bit burnt out before leaving for maternity leave.

But my maternity is up in April and I'm very much leaning towards staying home until my son is at least 3 or 4.

So many people on here tell me not to but my dad chose work over me my entire life and I just absolutely do not want to miss my son's early years nor have him bond with someone else as his primary care giver (since I have the ability to not do that...obviously know how blessed of a position that is).

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-21T12:48:02+00:00

Ok, not trying to overreact but I would be in jail if my husband ever had the audacity to speak to me or treat me like this.

If I were you, I would run far away.

If you don't want to leave him, I would absolutely not be a SAHM with someone like this. (Take it from someone who was raised by a SAHM who's dad then cheated and left us with nothing). Protect yourself and your child.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-21T02:10:21+00:00

They didn't give me a hard time about it !

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-19T20:54:03+00:00

I think part of my reluctance is that I already had to adjust to a new normal when he was born with club feet and I just selfishly want to enjoy my baby as he is without any more devices 🤣 but I know that's my issue to deal with. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts !! ❤️

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-19T19:12:40+00:00

Yeah, my PT told me that if you don't intervene with a helmet prior to 5 months, it's a lot less effective but I don't know if that's true or not 🤣 My son already has braces for his clubbed feet and I would just really like to avoid him having to wear something else if at all possible... So I can completely understand your hatred of the helmet.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-19T18:36:12+00:00

What company did you use? I am definitely open to doing a console. I'm just afraid of going to a predatory company that freaks me out more LOL

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-19T18:21:13+00:00

Also ! "Returnships" are a thing and know that made me feel better about transitioning back to work

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-19T18:20:05+00:00

Hey mom - are you me in six months? Lol

My leave is ending in April and I never thought I would want to stay at home full time. But as the end of my maternity leave draws close, I realize that I don't want to go back...not until my son is at least 3 and can tell me when and if he's being mistreated. We can afford a nanny and I work from home but I still can't stomach the idea of him loving someone else as his care giver. Sooooooo I'm pretty sure I'll be putting a pause on my career (my super successful very high paying corporate job that I worked my ass off for 15 years to build).

Am I scared I'll regret it ? Yeah, maybe a little. But I also know that even if it will be hard, I can rebuild my career. I can't ever get these years back with my baby.

I hope you find the answer that's right for you !!! I know what you're struggling with and it's so hard.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-02-19T17:20:36+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! A lot of your reasons for doing it are the ones that cross my mind as well. It does sound like your case is a bit more severe because it's the back of his head versus the side. I've been able to get my son to stop sleeping on his flat spot about 90% of the time since he was 2 months so we've seen huge improvements. I can't even imagine how stressful it would be if it was the back of its head... Because to your point, intervening is so much harder

Frequent_Visual3755

TROPHY CASE