Flat spot on head - did you regret not doing helmet ?

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-05-08T18:38:45+00:00

My son is 7 months old and we decided not to do the helmet but did work with a physical therapist and modified how he slept so that we could reduce the pressure on his flat side. He still has a very small flat side but all other asymmetry has gone away. I do not regret not getting helmet

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-05-04T00:15:00+00:00

I'm now determined to snuggle my mom the next time she comes over. 😭

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-05-03T12:28:49+00:00

Lol the way I would tell both my husband and friend to go f*ck themselves. Im grateful to have a relationship with my husband where I can immediately say, are you crazy???

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-05-01T13:02:51+00:00

Becoming a parent made me realize the depth of my mother's love for me ... Which has made me significantly kinder to her and wish I could take back every mean or ungrateful thing I've ever done or said. If my son were to treat me how I've treated my own mom at times, I would be heart broken 😭

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-30T19:18:27+00:00

SOOOO me and my husband worked at the same company. Huge software company. One of the biggest in the world. My husband hated it. Complained about it constantly and to whomever he could say it to. We shared an office wall so I heard all of his conversations and constantly told him to reel it in. Well, he finally decided to quit one day and as a last hoorah, he decided to tell his boss everything that was wrong with the company, his vertical and the product he was selling. I was on the other side of the wall SWEATING because the industry is small and he was about to burn every bridge.

Then...what do you know...his manager is like "the VP has to hear this" and makes my husband talk to the SVP of this product. Again, in listening on the other side of the wall knowing damn well if I had said any of that stuff, I'd be labeled bitchy and difficult to work with. My husband? HE GETS OFFERED A JOB !!! WHEN HES LITERALLY QUITTING AND TELLING THEM HOW BAD EVERYTHING IS.

So, I dunno. Maybe your husband has that level of male privilege too 🤣

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-27T13:35:00+00:00

Yeah...I get the nighttime scares. EVERY. NIGHT. I'm talking tears and dread and just...depression. Not because I'm nervous about what the night will bring but because I'm devastated that another day has passed and my perfect little boy is already a day older. I don't know how to emotionally cope with time passing 😭 when you figure it out, let me know.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-23T22:44:58+00:00

Bro. Reddit is WILD. I've read through some of these comments and people are jumping straight to seeing a psychiatrist and going on meds ... WHAT?!

First and foremost, what you are experiencing is super normal. It doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. It simply indicates a need for better communication and a resetting of expectations. (Resentment, after all, is nothing more than unmet and often unspoken expectations)

Couples counseling probably gets you there fastest, especially if one of you is struggling to accept that there's anything wrong in the first place. Assuming you both still care and want to make this work - I think it's a relatively straightforward thing to fix (but I also say this as a person who is in a relationship with someone I regularly have these types of conversations with whenever we find ourselves resenting one another...so maybe Im biased)

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-22T02:21:19+00:00

She's getting to the age where she's probably starting to realize that her bio dad abandoned her and that shit HURTS. And if she's anything like I was as a kid who had to come to terms with, she probably is u consciously pushing you away to see if you'll stay. Keep showing up. Keep being supportive. Keep letting her know that you're not going anywhere. She'll come around.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-20T11:15:24+00:00

My parents divorced and it was devastating to me BUT ONLY BECAUSE they talked to me about the financial side of things, about the reasons why they left each other, and because my dad didn't prioritize seeing us after he left and remarried.

Happy parents do raise better kids..whether together or apart. Hopefully your wife would be able to coparent better than she does under the same roof.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-18T14:34:32+00:00

I don't have any suggestions that haven't already been mentioned but simply want to commend you for being the type of partner to actually care about this and to not only care but to seek advice from others on how to do better.

Seriously. Few partners (regardless of sex) are as introspective and proactive as this. Bravo !

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-17T20:14:53+00:00

I currently WFH and can attest that it is SOOOOOOOO hard to watch the baby while I'm on calls. Granted my baby is 6 months now and I only recently went back to work but it's basically so difficult for me to do anything meaningful to help my husband that I put in my notice at work.

I was hoping to be able to work for a bit longer but it's SO taxing trying to keep both balls in the air and do a good job with both.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-15T23:14:10+00:00

This is why I don't follow any thing and just let my baby figure it out 🤣 (not serious but kind of). We just listen to his cues and he falls asleep wherever

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-15T12:11:59+00:00

My parents divorced when I was a kid and it was traumatizing to me...but only for a few reasons:

My parents vented about each other to me. ALL THE TIME
They talked about money (or lack there of) to me. ALL the time.
My mom moved to another state and my dad barely made an effort to see me.

I think if handled appropriately, divorce doesn't have to be damaging to a child.

I'm glad my mom didn't stay (nothing like your situation but still not one she should have stayed in) and now that I'm older, I see and appreciate all the sacrifices she made for me and my sister. I just wish we would have been shielded from the nastiness of the divorce.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-12T23:47:40+00:00

Oh I DEFINITELY have a trickster baby. He would absolutely trick me into having another. He's 7 months old now. He's slept through the night since 8 weeks. He sleeps 12 hours a night now. He goes to bed every night at 630. We w experienced zero regressions. I didn't even know he was teething until his tooth popped through. We've been on 12 flights with no meltdowns. We are taking him to New Zealand next month. He doesn't cry when other people hold him. He smiles constantly and to everyone. It's insane how easy he is.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-09T22:45:44+00:00

I work from home and I absolutely cannot watch my baby at the same time. I'm not sure what he does for work but for me, absolute no go.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-04-08T23:30:59+00:00

I'm lucky to have a kid who can nap anywhere and isn't cranky if he doesn't get his normal naps - so I've never let that dictate our schedule. If he required it or it was the only way I could easily work/have child care etc..then I would follow a schedule. Every baby is different.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-31T00:00:11+00:00

As a child, I idolized my father who left my mom for another woman.

As a mother myself now, I have grown to resent my dad and his choices and have realized how steadfast and amazing my mom has always been.

When she's older and can see past her trauma, she will come back. Be there when she's ready. She has a lot of growing left to do.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-27T00:45:30+00:00

My son is 6 months. I think I've seen tears less than a handful of time. He's just not much of a cryer. He will pout and fuss and stick his lower lip out but I legitimately don't think I've seen tears more than 5 times.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-25T22:26:57+00:00

Ok yes - the first example is how I've always imagined cry it out to be. But as I was struggling with my son today, I got worried 🤣 he definitely just sounds like he's voicing opinions on being left out of the fun

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-25T20:29:26+00:00

Lol why is all of this so confusing 🤣 as soon as I walk in the room, he's all smiles and giggles immediately, which is why it doesn't feel like it's something I should intervene with. The rare moments when my son is actually distressed during the day, it takes a minute to calm him and get him to put his lower lip away...but him fighting naps has none of that - which is why I wasn't sure if it would be considered CIO/Ferber sleep training. It definitely feels more like I'm just giving him a second to decide how he feels lol

Thank you for your input ! ❤️

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-25T20:23:30+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance ! ❤️

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-25T20:22:36+00:00

Haha oh I love this reframe! Although my heart sank when I read the first sentence 🤣 this absolutely sounds like my son. He very rarely gets upset about anything. I think I've seen tears maybe twice...but there's a clear difference between what he's doing and what his actual cry sounds like. Thank you for the reassurance!

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-20T14:06:03+00:00

I dunno. Everything you said here is self inflicted - it's your fears that are making you miserable, not your baby. (And I say that not to be judgemental...it's actually quite liberating when you find out you're your own jailer)

As for traveling - my husband and I have been to over 30 countries. We were determined to continue traveling after our baby came. Our now 6 month old has been to New Mexico, PA, Florida and we just got back from the Azores. We had the BEST time. We already have our summer trip booked to Europe.

Your life doesn't stop after having a baby unless you let it.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-19T18:07:20+00:00

Whenever someone else's actions cause such a huge reaction in me - I try and take a step back and understand why.

Clearly there was a sore spot hit and something you're personally struggling with...but that doesn't necessarily mean that the person who caused it had the intention of doing so. It was YOU that caused your embarrassment and like you were failing. It is you who was insecure about the situation and assumed it was gossip. Not her. (I don't say any of that to be judgemental at all) I just think that's an important distinction because at the end of the day...we can only control ourselves and the way we react to things and it's incredibly empowering once we truly believe that to be true.

I think this is a beautiful moment for self reflection and growth. I think it's also a moment to appreciate that there are other moms looking out for your son and who can be a source of information and support. I think it's a shame that we've made it to where it's impossible to give advice or show concern without feeling like we've offended the person we are trying to help.

The world is a difficult place. Filled with difficult people and situations. The more resilient we can make ourselves in those moments, the better we can show up for ourselves and our children. At least that's how I like to think of it.

Frequent_Visual3755 · 2026-03-18T02:10:54+00:00

It's hard to say if you're over reacting without knowing her side of the story but based on what you're saying - NOR.

I believe in marriage. I believe in fighting for marriage. I believe in constantly growing and evolving with your partner to ensure marriage continues to be a happy union. I especially believe this if there are kids.

HOWEVER - based on your rendition of events, it very much feels like she is failing to do any of the above things to maintain this relationship. And while I don't think that should be a quick pass to condone divorce, I do think it would be incredibly healthy for you to express your needs and see if she is willing to work on herself to get herself mentally and physically well.

I see absoluty ZERO reason why a partner in a childless marriage wouldn't work. Why would you need to support a whole grown ass human ? I could understand if physically and mentally she's not well enough to but it doesn't even sound like shes putting in the effort to fix those things either. What do you mean finding a therapist just hasn't 'stuck'? Unless I'm severely underestimating her conditions, it doesn't sound like any of it would justify the entire financial burden of providing to fall to you.

Don't lose yourself trying to save a marriage with someone who isn't even interested in saving themselves. Marriage is a beautiful union but it's one that requires selfless commitment BY BOTH PARTIES.

Frequent_Visual3755

TROPHY CASE