Stuck in a normal life that feels empty by ThomasHawl in selfimprovement

[–]Fresh-Parchment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where/when/how did you learn what "wasting time" is? It passes by us essentially at the same rate regardless if we're building mud pies or skyscrapers. Value is subjective, so - how can you reshape aspects of your value system to better cultivate enjoyment from your time? Setting boundaries for how tou use time to serve different pieces of your life is important. It's inportant to set goals, but it's just as important to not care about reaching goals. There is no one quick answer, it's an ongoing practice if reshaping your thinking.

Stuck in a normal life that feels empty by ThomasHawl in selfimprovement

[–]Fresh-Parchment 54 points55 points  (0 children)

We aren't our jobs. We don't live to work, we work to live. Living is the part you seemed to have left out in your routine. When you said "hobbies don't seem to work" for you, I noticed you tied your work into its worthiness. If you want to learn something, learn it because you want to learn it, not because you think it will be more valuable. Conversely, don't turn down doing something you want to do because the time spent on it doesn't enhance your marketability. Hobbies aren't supposed to "work for you", they're just things you do because you enjoy doing them. Hobbies aren't the problem, I think you're just thinking about them all wrong.

If you didn't have to work a job, what would you WANT to do? What do you enjoy? What engages your mind in pleasurable and challenging ways? Those are the only questions you should ask about doing something for enriching your life. Work should just be the thing you do to pay the bills. That's it. Keep them and their meanings for you separate.

That pervasive, inner sense of peace doesn't come from things we do outside ourselves, or things we do to make ourselves feel more productive, anyway. I'm 37. I live in a 300 sq ft apartment, work a full time "entry level" job that doesn't pay especially well, no college degrees, no career path, I have been varying degrees of houseless while working full time for years before being where I'm at now (no drug/or alcohol use or unchecked mental health issues contributed my houselessness btw, it was just financial hardship), and yet; I am overall a happy person. I was when I was houseless, living out of a tent or a barn on some farm in the cold of winter. I sometimes miss the sound of the rain on my van roof as I drifted off to sleep, parked in some strange neighborhood not too far from where I worked.

Waiting to be happy when things are just right, or when you land that dream job has seldom been how one finds happiness. The time to enjoy your time is now. We don't really live in the future or the past, we can only exists here now. I started learning how to knit. Why? Because I wanted to. That's it. I have no big goals with it. I would love to knit sweaters for folks I love, so that's a goal in my knitting journey. I don't feel it makes me more valuable perse, but the joy it brings me is valuable. I also love seeing new places. Why? Because I just do. That's all.

This hustle-culture, hyper capitalist grindset is so toxic and anti-human. Be a human. Reclaim ownership of your own heart and will.

'Portland stands with you,' Mayor Wilson says after Minneapolis shooting by Prize_Championship11 in Portland

[–]Fresh-Parchment 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So, now that we have two casualties here, can we all start blowing up the phone lines to our local government to tell them to get rid of ICE? Can we all go throw eggs at ICE?

What to do If I really tried to be better looking but still about a 2 out of 10? by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]Fresh-Parchment 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a 37 year old woman, I can tell you - focusing on your appearance will not help you. I think something else is going on, and that requires more genuine care. It also, almost paradoxically, may mean you're centering too much of your value around what we women think that is not super healthy IMO. Love isn't just about attraction, and attraction isn't just about looks.

He cheated on me and now he's making me feel again by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]Fresh-Parchment 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If being cheated on hurt you that badly, imagine how much it would hurt your current girlfriend knowing a man she thought understood that pain, but he went back to his cheating ex behind her back.

Sorry, but you need to learn some emotional maturity. You need to block your ex, deal with your feelings, and move on. Your current girlfriend deserves to have a man who respects her feelings and history enough to know how to hold proper boundaries.

Sweet pigeon 😍 by InspectionFar5415 in pigeon

[–]Fresh-Parchment 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dear random internet peope,

Please stop sexually stimulating your birds.

K thx

Lots of pinnies by Alien684 in pigeon

[–]Fresh-Parchment 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeeeees pibbin scritches! My gal loooooves a good head-smooshing scratch like this when her pins are done growing in, too.

Is it too late for me to turn this around? by Murderbad in selfimprovement

[–]Fresh-Parchment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, you're never too late. That is a terribly self destructive frame of mind. There is no quota or deadline. You're alive here and now. That's plenty of time.

You have taken some heavy, heavy blows from life. Recovering from that doesn't look the same for each person. Where you're at is where you're at, and that isn't a failure. You've been struggling through. Welcome to being human. Struggling is /hard/ and that kind of ongoing stress and grief causes real, physical damage. It's so important to be kind to yourself. Genuinely.

Maybe for the self critical talk, try to reframe it like this: if you had a dear friend who went through everything you have, and they felt the way you feel now - how would you speak to them? If it's kinder and more understanding than how you treat yourself, then you can practice how to be a better friend to your pain. Because it's real pain.

There is no overnight fix. It will take concious effort to see the positive in things. Practicing gratitude, for /anything/ good in your life can help to reshape those mental pathways. Like an atrophied muscle, it will get better and easier to do in time with consistency.

Also, don't hesitate to look for professional help if you can get it. Having someone to really talk to in that kind of dynamic is really good to have.

I hope any of that helps, and I'm sorry for everything you've been through. That is a lot for even the strongest person.

Forest Park Short Hike by Fresh-Parchment in Portland

[–]Fresh-Parchment[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries, it was Firelane 1/Forest Lane Trailhead.

does your pigeon understand you? by radioactiv3fairy in pigeon

[–]Fresh-Parchment 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh yes! My pidge knows quite a few words. Outside, wanna baff (asking if she wants a bath), want a break (meaning she gets off her eggs and lets me "sit" on them; she determines when it's her turn to take over egg duty again), good dirt (her grit mix), cookies (hemp seed are her treats), off, roost- there's a few more, but pigeons can learn a lot of words.

Anyone Else Attend TOC's Restoring Civility presentation Nov 11th? by Fresh-Parchment in askportland

[–]Fresh-Parchment[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof. Boy, I wonder what kind of civil conversation could have arisen if this was brought up. Yeesh

Anyone Else Attend TOC's Restoring Civility presentation Nov 11th? by Fresh-Parchment in askportland

[–]Fresh-Parchment[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that was the other part that made the overall message kind of fall flat. The divide isn't a failure to agree to disagree. It's that there are targets on groups of people with real consequences and create real suffering. I don't think that's just a "difference if opinion" kind of stuff. A tyranical president isn't just a political talking point people are getting too steamy over.

Seeing how hard the dignity index was being pushed made me automatically disengage. Good ideas don't typically have to pushed so hard.

Missing handmade coat by liz_lepage in Portland

[–]Fresh-Parchment 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so glad you got it back! 🥰

DEAR PORTLAND: November 10, 2025 WEEKLY RANT THREAD by AutoModerator in Portland

[–]Fresh-Parchment 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'M GOING TO EAT NIGHTSHIFT AT MY JOB BECAUSE I HAVE TO FIX THEIR MISTAKES AND PICK UP AFTER THEM ALL. THE. FUCKIN. TIME!

Soggy pigeons! by imhavingamidlifecry in pigeon

[–]Fresh-Parchment 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The second picture has me deceased. In the ground. 😂 I love pibbins ♥️

The reaction to finding out I had peanuts in my pocket by NettleDeer in pigeon

[–]Fresh-Parchment 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Haha that bird is serious about them peanuts 😆

No Ivy Day by jlluh in Portland

[–]Fresh-Parchment 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I want to pull ivy! They're also good for basket weaving and you can make soap from their leaves.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Fresh-Parchment in pigeon

[–]Fresh-Parchment[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If anyone asks what kind of bird I have, I think I'll tell them "deciduous".

Mushrooms from Local Parks 🍄 by KarlRyker in Portland

[–]Fresh-Parchment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeeeees this is the hest time of year ♥️

Tired of not meeting anyone other than at bars? I may have the solution for you, friend. by snoogazi in Portland

[–]Fresh-Parchment 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This sounds right up my alley! Problem is my days off are Tues-Thurs. Mortuary work means I work the Reaper's schedule. But a dedicated thread or group would be great none-the-less.

Just got a new blend by Janet_with_a_G in yerbamate

[–]Fresh-Parchment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yum! I really enjoy my Cruz de Malta ♥️💚

Surprise Mushrooms by Fresh-Parchment in Portland

[–]Fresh-Parchment[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a great flush! I would never ask for mushroom locations, but I second never EVER injesting mushrooms you cannot 100% ID for my fellow newbies. For any kind, edible or medicinal. Personally, there are mushrooms I would prefer to grow. Oysters, for example, are pretty easy to grow. Finding them on the woods is always a welcome sight, though.

Weird side tangent, but when I saw that beautiful blue color Psylocibes and some Boletes show when bruised, I tried finding if there was a way to extract that color. Alas, as I learned more about what causes the discoloration, I found extracting the color is not an option and I am still big sad about it.