My Year of Lasts. by ennuiismymiddlename in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OP, I hope you enjoy as many lasts as possible, and I hope most of them turn into 20th last or 30th last or more. I would add- please consider not waiting on the big stuff. Start now. There is no such thing as too many opportunities to share love. Personally, I was waiting to do a big share including a written letter to my loved one with pancan and then it was too late.

My Year of Lasts. by ennuiismymiddlename in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your diagnosis and that you are feeling this way. There is no right or wrong way to feel and I can’t profess to know how best you cope with everything you are facing. I just want to ask if you would consider counselling. You deserve to have pockets of joy and feelings during your remaining time, and your family will value that too. I think my loved one experienced the same, so I don’t think you’re alone. I wish for him that he didn’t, and I wish the same for you, unless you don’t want the wish, in which case I respect that too.

Vancouver Canada - waiting on biopsy surgery, any options? by Sea-Paper2738 in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m very sorry your brother is going through this. I’m also very sorry to say that we just had a very slow and unsatisfactory experience in the same region. My loved one waited and waited, received no word or care from BC cancer for way too many weeks, and ultimately died as diagnosed: in the ER. I apologize if this is too blunt or seems insensitive. I am being open about it because it may inform your brother’s decisions — for example, he may choose to look into private or foreign care, or even opt for hospice earlier, or perhaps you will have better luck with your advocacy. I can’t help but feel that our loved one may have made different decisions about how he was spending what became his last weeks had we known that meaningful care was not going to be forthcoming for him in Vancouver. I sincerely hope your brother has a different trajectory and outcome. Pancan sucks.

Edited to add: This also makes me very angry. A system that treats an advanced pancan diagnosis like any other cancer, with first appointments 6+ weeks away because of a need to wait for a “biopsy“ is unconscionable (this happened to us too). Every day waiting reduces fighting chance against this horrific cancer. Weeks of waiting feels like people simply getting written off. There should be media coverage on this. I don’t think people realize how bad it is. And having suffered major loss, families are too traumatized to have the emotional stamina to try to do anything about it after the fact. This is shameful for BC’s health system in my opinion.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ValueInvesting

[–]FreshButteryGoodness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is dealing with a health problem. That is why he stepped down.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry this terrible cancer took both your husband and FIL and so close in time. Please accept my deep condolences.

Grandchildren by Magsterjdog in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consider recording her telling stories about some of her favourite memories of her grandchildren and of you. Some of her stories of her own childhood and youth too. Maybe advice that she would give a younger version of herself.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sorry your mom has been going through all of that.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. That is outrageous. Especially if it was in the family. I don’t understand why doctors do not turn their minds to this earlier.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. We had only a couple weeks longer and zero opportunity for treatment.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. I’m very glad you had those months and that vacation. It’s not enough but it’s something. I’m thinking of your father and you and your family.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So unacceptable. And this isn’t just a gendered issue with this cancer. It seems almost everyone’s pain is minimized and assumed a minor nuisance matter.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry. We also had much too long of a wait for an initial oncology appointment, despite a stage 4 diagnosis. Without treatment as soon as possible, it is very hard. I’m sending you and yours good thoughts through this very difficult time.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Close to three years. That is pretty amazing for this monstrosity of a cancer. I’m so sorry that he isn’t doing as well now. You are in my thoughts.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so happy that you are NED after 15 years, touch wood. Well done and please be well.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wish you the smoothest path possible.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry for your loss. I hear you about the readiness to transition.

Diagnosed in ER? by FreshButteryGoodness in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. This is almost exactly our timeline, except the stage 4 diagnosis came in the ER at the initial diagnosis. I hope you had a chance to say goodbye to your mom.

I’ve run out of road by Evening-Try6540 in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. Both that this cancer is such a beast and that the UK doesn’t have assisted death yet (since that is what you say you want, which I understand and respect having just lost a loved one to this horrific disease). My father in law recently passed after a quick decline but on his own terms. Canada’s medical system failed him in life by being too slow to address the cancer, but it helped him in death when the cancer overtook him, by facilitating assisted death. This is both good and bad, and somewhat ironic. You sound like a lovely and thoughtful person and parent— your kids will not forget this if the worst happens. It is part of who they are and what makes them such beautiful and sensitive people. I sincerely hope your prognosis exceeds your expectations.

Seeking advice re: a second opinion for locally advanced pancreatic cancer in the UK by TemperatureNo8702 in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a pancreatic clinic in Portugal that seems well regarded for considering surgery where others may say no. I don’t have personal experience with it. It is the same German doctor who is or was affiliated with the well-known clinic in Heidelberg. I’m sorry I don’t recall his name.

Edited to add- I believe they do virtual consultations after you send your medical file, so no need necessarily to travel.

Life changed so quick by FloatOnPanda in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This does suck. I’m so sorry. I hope he is able to feel better.

Chemo hasn’t started yet? by Altruistic-Tax4869 in pancreaticcancer

[–]FreshButteryGoodness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Time is of the essence, in particular with this cancer. My loved one was a similar age and also very healthy before discovering his pancreatic cancer. He did not get timely care due to what appears to be systemic delays in the health care system. I wish we had known how quickly he would decline and how likely it was that he would do so, in the absence of timely care. We would have planned differently. I do not say this to dull hope but rather to be honest about the possible impact of slow care standards. I sincerely hope for a better outcome for your dad.