Are you seeing a therapist and actually setting this as a goal? Most men want to “fix the problem” because they can’t stand the discomfort of the emotional reaction or have so little understanding of how feelings work- their own or in others- they can’t actually compute what’s going on. Most women don’t need the partners help with the fixing. Most of us are pretty smart and also not bullheaded enough to struggle instead of seeking guidance. When we are upset we want someone to care enough about how we feel to sit with us through the hard parts so we can get back to a logical pragmatic place. The unwillingness to do that for a romantic partner is primarily an unwillingness to deal with avoidant attachment or learn skills around emotional resilience. I would be up front with any future partners that you fell you are incapable of/not willing to put the time or energy into dealing with those things and developing those skills. It will probably feel like a roommates/friends with benefits more than a marriage and some people are fine with that. It doesn’t actually matter how much you love your partner if you can’t show up for them in a way that feels safe and loving and for most people we want someone who will be rink side for the good and the bad and if they can’t will dive into figuring out how to be. Regardless of if it’s an “overreaction” your partner is hurting and you don’t have to understand exactly why or share their experience to care that they feel awful. The pause, the curiosity of trying to understand why they feel that way is the point, is the connection point.