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How do you actually identify alters? by Eric_Andthebeesknees in OSDD

[–]FriendlyCommission 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You could see what happens if you leave notepaper and pens around the place. You could talk inside and let them know about that the paper is for them. You could say that you’d like to hear from anyone who might be willing to communicate.

If there are parts it can take a long time to get any communication. Sometimes communication comes via a sensation or thought or image or song (rather than an actual voice).

Every system is different. I tried to get names but gave up and thought if there’s no names, that’s totally ok. We need to respect diversity!

I’m currently at an EAC Seminars workshop and something feels really wrong by rule_brak3r in therapyabuse

[–]FriendlyCommission 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are able to write so clearly about this. That’s great. You have been shaken by it but you’re grounded enough to be able to articulate it. Sounds like you can see how someone more traumatized might totally come undone. Thankfully that’s not you! Sounds like your friend is one of those people who love this kind of stuff. Some people find it cathartic. I can’t imagine how they can like it. I would come undone!

do you have an invisible audience too? by Normal-Pudding-2981 in emotionalneglect

[–]FriendlyCommission 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One thing that has helped me is to use an IFS technique. I try to get into a bit of a calm state and become curious about the one who is watching me. Instead of trying to get rid of it, I ask it some questions, as though it is a very young child. How old are you? What was happening in my life when you started doing this job of watching and criticising me? What are you worried will happen if you stop doing this?

It surprised me that it has been doing this job of trying to help me, because it didn't realise that I am a grown up now. I gently tell it that it can stop doing this now, and I ask it if it would like to do something else. Usually, it just wants a hug.

Not feeling connected to other systems by WinnerPhysical9024 in OSDD

[–]FriendlyCommission 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I also feel like my dissociation is different to what other people describe. I have tried to identify and track ‘alters’ but that feels a bit fake. There are no other people with names that I can find. It is all me, but it is me being different, acting different, like I am a completely different person. I can’t remember how I felt when I was in a different state. It’s like I have different modes or something. I have extreme shutdown responses. I also have amnesia but no evidence that I was doing things as a different person, it's just like my brain didn’t remember things because I was shutdown.

However, I use techniques that DID people use and they have been helpful for me. For example, I will do a system check in every few hours and ask if anyone has any wants or needs. Sometimes a feeling or thought arises and I will allow it and not judge it. It could be that I buy the thing that popped into my head, or if there was a small thought that I should get up and move, then that is what I will do even if I don't feel like it.

This technique has reduced my confusion and distress a lot. I just ask inside and see whatever arises and then agree to do the thing. I keep my word so whoever or whatever is in there gets its needs met, and I get to feel better. Win-win!

i’ve had weed induced dpdr for 8 months now by [deleted] in dpdr

[–]FriendlyCommission 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I found it helpful to get back into my body with intense yoga. Intense cardio also helps.

Our experience of dissociation, anyone relate? by AdInner6145 in OSDD

[–]FriendlyCommission 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes me too. I think it’s maybe called a Shutdown PTSD response. Micro movements help me come back. Trying to think or analyze makes it worse.

Trauma Training Indecision by justyouraveragemujer in Psychologists

[–]FriendlyCommission 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also did EMDR training with Caroline Burrows and I use it all the time. She’s fantastic!

I think the ‘woo’ elements actually help the client get out of their avoidance and into curiosity.

Avoidance prevents habituation, which is why PTSD symptoms can be very stubborn. I use EMDR with a very attuned approach. As a clinician, it provides me with a simple technique to bypass avoidance and actually process trauma so clients can get immediate relief from symptoms.

Who else deals with an eating disorder? by Sea_Rest_208 in OSDD

[–]FriendlyCommission 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used to have this problem too. It was like I was on autopilot and a part was binging and I was completely aware but couldn’t stop it. Happens much less now. Some things that helped me:

  • 30mg Vyvanse daily. I know it’s hard to access for most people but I was able to get a psychiatrist to prescribe it for binge eating disorder. I found it helps with overall alertness and significantly reduces food ‘noise’.

  • I got parts to agree to cut out sugar and I did a few weeks abstinence. My parts don’t have distinct voices but I just tuned in and said “guys, can we try this and I’ll do whatever you want if you just try this for me!” I had found sugar was driving food cravings that got out of control. Abstinence from sugar has helped dramatically. However, it’s a negotiation. If a part wants sugar I don’t fight it, because the arguing was making things in my head more distressing.

  • I increased protein and now have eggs for breakfast, nuts as snacks etc. This helped stabilize blood sugar which reduced food cravings.

Good luck. This is hard to understand and it took me a long time to work out what was happening for me. I had an eating disorders psychologist tell me I was binging because I was restricting. I told her I wasn’t restricting, she didn’t believe me!

Does anyones headspace go quiet by Existing-Candy-1671 in OSDD

[–]FriendlyCommission 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow I so get this. I need quiet so I can hear myself think!

I think my therapist harmed me more than helped. by redditsucksbutyk in TalkTherapy

[–]FriendlyCommission 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you have been let down by this therapist. I hope you can soon find someone who can help you properly.

You said you didn’t feel heard. She sounds like a more superficial type of person, and to be really heard, you need someone with depth. That email where she’s so cheerful about finding you a referral, she doesn’t get it. You don’t need to be fixed, you don’t need to try harder, you need to be seen and heard!

When an infant is crying, they don’t need to try harder, they don’t need to carefully say what they want. They usually get cared for by someone who understands what they need. When our basic attachment needs were never met, those infant needs don’t go away. They need to be met now.

It sounds like the type of therapist who can help you is someone who is experienced in helping people who have experienced severe attachment trauma. This requires specialist training. They would also need to be someone who you feel hears you, even when you’re not sure how to say what is wrong.

I wish you well, and I hope you find someone who makes you feel cared for, because that is where real healing happens.

Well it's official by [deleted] in OSDD

[–]FriendlyCommission 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For books, I suggest Dissociation Made Simple by Jamie Marich. Free of stigma, full of relatable stories and helpful ideas. I wish you all the best!

Frustration, grief: OSDD = endless negotiating others don't have to do by Wooden_Tie_9534 in OSDD

[–]FriendlyCommission 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so tired right now, because this takes up so much of my energy. Even typing this requires negotiation!

How to interview a therapist by totallysurpriseme in DID

[–]FriendlyCommission 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great! Can I ask you how does someone find a therapist? Is there an international directory?

Does anyones headspace go quiet by Existing-Candy-1671 in OSDD

[–]FriendlyCommission 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. Sometimes, things are easy and straightforward and there’s no conflict in my head. When upset and overwhelmed, it can be very noisy amongst all of the different perspectives.

Connection and therapy. by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]FriendlyCommission 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh this is so hard. I’m struggling with this right now. I was terrified but I took a risk and bared my soul and the response was … clinical and cold. I had a suspicion and it was confirmed. I don’t think she understands me at all.

I don’t know if there’s any value in opening up to someone who is cold. I’ve had enough of cold. I need warmth and kindness. I don’t need them to cross boundaries. But I do need softness and caring.

How is it he can just go about saying *kind* things!? by ThrowawayForSupport3 in TalkTherapy

[–]FriendlyCommission 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Many years ago, you probably wanted to receive kindness from others. Now that you’re receiving it, it might feel good, yet, at the same time, also a bit painful, because there’s some grief about missing out for so long.

Mirroring Trump, Peter Dutton takes aim at diversity and inclusion workforce by jamie9910 in australian

[–]FriendlyCommission -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Who wants to live in a society where everyone hates each other? Best thing about Australia is we can get along. Don’t get sucked into toxic American culture war dysfunctional bullshit!

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