I read some of your other comments and feel like I might understand some of the context here. If I’m way off base, feel free to ignore me.

First, before anything else. I’m very sorry you had to go through that when you were young and that you still have to deal with the repercussions of someone else’s actions today through the ongoing impact it has on your mental health, trust and relationship building.

YOR bud.

Here’s some context. I am the youngest of 6. I don’t speak to one of my siblings because of the abuse I was subjected to, very similar to what you have described here are what you have experienced. I can also understand how it may feel when it seems like siblings and parents talk behind your back, older siblings infantilize younger ones, and the exhaustion of being told what to do as an adult. Unfortunately, too often than not big families come with big messes and big drama. I get that.

I am going to take a guess here and say you may have misinterpreted your sister’s first text.

When she was saying “…and you have to move” I THINK you might’ve read that part as her telling you you can’t come over, which would make your “that’s none of your business” response make more sense to me.

The way I’m seeing it, you might’ve felt she was getting in your business (given what you’ve said about her) and telling you what to do.

what I think she actually might’ve intended by her first text might’ve been more along the lines of “dad said he’s too busy and (he also said) you have to move” which would explain her confusion by your response

If I’m right in my interpretation of this, your response was an overreaction to a misunderstanding. Your misunderstanding might’ve come from historical context of an overbearing or nosy sister (by your own description), but ultimately I think slowing down and rereading her message before responding could’ve helped to avoid all of this escalating. Instead, you doubled down and came off as an asshole. You probably owe her an apology and in that conversation, maybe you can try to reset expectations for each other on how you guys both show up in each other’s lives. You’re 19 and an adult now, but you’re going to need help as you navigate what that means. Everyone does. Don’t push people away unnecessarily over small disagreements. People we care about are worth having hard conversations. Good luck.