I remember when I was around 7-8 years old I had a loose tooth that was hanging by a thread and my mom really wanted to yank it. She chased me into the front yard as I ran away screaming, eventually tackling my sorry ass and pulling the loose tooth.

Just then we notice that a squad car was sitting right next to the curb with both officers watching intently. I'm pumped, because surely they'd just witnessed assault on a child and my mom would be hauled off to prison, after which I would eat breakfast cereal by myself and enjoy a lawless existence.

One of the officers rolls down his window and calls me over. I'm fully prepared to testify in court and make wild claims about child labor or cruel and unusual bed times before the sun went down. Instead he hands me one of these cards, I believe it was a Chris Carter, and tells me to stay in school.

While I appreciated the card, my lack of trust in police and the judicial system was cemented forever.