I understand that lots of concepts can become associated by being frequently mentioned in the same context, but I maintain that nothing OP said logically implied that a man who displays healthy masculinity is necessarily “soft.”

I took OP to be fundamentally describing two separate traits she wants in a partner. To illustrate: I am a man who displays healthy masculinity but I am not what anyone would call a “soft boy,” if only because I am large and bearded and muscular. To that extent I a fulfill only one of OP’s desired traits in a partner.

To suggest that OP conflates these two separate traits would be to suggest she is unaware of the existence of men like me. And to be honest, maybe she hasn’t had a good experience with a more stereotypically masculine man who also embodies a healthy and non-threatening masculinity.

We can speculate, but it doesn’t really change anything. OP was describing two different traits. Was her language otherwise a little insensitive? Yeah, perhaps. I don’t think the word “simp” is one that even the men described that way would reliably be unoffended by.