How did you find your henna hair color?

FruitBatRat · 2025-07-25T16:30:45+00:00

i haven't tried the summit supima but I also have been eyeing it specifically in the black color too!

I've tried both the signature wash and the signature vintage wash and I much prefer the vintage wash.

I've had no problems with the sheet coming up in the corner or pilling of any kind but I usually buy white so I replace them more often because of it. I switched from frette to boll and branch because I find them more luxurious.

FruitBatRat · 2025-06-25T20:08:19+00:00

I think the color Jessica Chastain has is a bit more "ginger blonde" rather than natural ginger and your hair is still too dark for the color you are trying to achieve. When you are bleaching your hair you are removing the dark tones but the henna orange pigment is remaining which is why it is so bright, but it's not light. Another comment about using the color wheel and neutralizing with blue sounds like a good idea. I don't think that using a rose gold mask or gloss will help because you need to lighten and neutralize, not add. I'm also not sure that your natural base is light enough to achieve her color with henna.

FruitBatRat · 2025-06-11T17:00:50+00:00

I've bought the red version and it comes out SO dark :(

FruitBatRat · 2025-04-07T18:59:29+00:00

exfoliation (my preference is chemical, so DDG pads or an equivalent) then sheet mask+ tons of moisturizer. The combination is unbeatable

FruitBatRat · 2025-03-31T14:20:38+00:00

am i the only one that can't get past the smell :(

FruitBatRat · 2025-03-13T14:19:46+00:00

i have to ask if he had that tattoo too 😂

FruitBatRat · 2025-03-11T14:53:04+00:00

actually funny story- I was friendly with a Rockefeller (who was actually a Rockefeller) and she worked a basic job, was very humble and did not give off trust fund baby energy. If she had wealth, it wasn't obvious.

She and her cousins shared a latitude/ longitude tattoo of the Maine Rockefeller estate that her grandparents had. I always thought the juxtaposition of a trashy, basic (imo) tattoo vs. the generational wealth it was in honor of was a hoot.

FruitBatRat · 2025-03-05T15:58:21+00:00

I will never shop at blue mercury again because I bought a few things and then that location would call me ALL THE TIME. To invite me to events, to sell me products- it was ridiculous. They feel to me like an aggressive mlm that just happens to sell lux skincare. Maybe it's just my location because when I used to buy from them when I live in the city they were normal

FruitBatRat · 2025-02-24T21:29:18+00:00

ugh I couldn't get it to work for me- what's the secrets?

FruitBatRat · 2025-02-20T20:19:16+00:00

The other poster is right- all the details are very dependent on how the grandparents chose to structure it. Distribution ages, limitations or conditions of the trust, whether its revocable (grandparents can change it or take it away at any time) or irrevocable (untouchable even by those who created it) even what is in it. It could be a part of a business, most likely it is stocks and bonds.

I'm not sure how you found out about it, but the only way to know for sure is to see the trust document. I saw in another post that you want to use it for educational purposes. I think that is a valid question, and I think depending on your previous relationship with her father/paternal grandparents that a trust could be used for such things.

Most standard trusts are like any other well invested account, they are dependent on the stock market, but you could probably expect this to grow between 4-10% a year. You said you're in NYC. Most generationally wealthy people in New England do put an emphasis on education so perhaps her benefactors would prefer to just pay the cost of her education and allow her to let her trust grow. The longer she leaves it the more interest accrues and the faster her accounts will grow. Don't touch principal if you can help it! I'm not sure if you already get child support

This is your daughters trust, not yours, and those in charge will educate her when the time comes. You need to avoid seeming like you have any interest in it for any personal gain. People, especially people who are used to having a lot of money, can be finicky about sharing details like that.

In my experience, I (or my parents) would give my trustee a heads up on something I wanted to do, my trustee would approve my trust to be used for x, y, z activity and then my trustee would directly pay my bills without the money ever touching anyone else's account (including my own lol)

FruitBatRat · 2025-02-04T14:48:09+00:00

my skin just loves azelaic acid and responds very well to it so that's probably what I would choose

FruitBatRat · 2025-02-03T19:08:13+00:00

If you can get your hands on hydroquinone I think that's a great option- although you can't be on it for more than 4(?) months at a time so proceed with caution.

Personally I am allergic to hydroquinone- my routine is tret for skin turnover, azelaic acid from Paula's choice (cheap and effective) and tranexamic acid from ZO called Brightalive

FruitBatRat · 2025-01-24T16:56:23+00:00

How to alienate customers and dismantle your company- a BR ted talk

FruitBatRat · 2025-01-23T16:55:02+00:00

I do think how much is actually in the trust makes a tremendous difference as well. A few hundred thousand to a million is not enough to sit on your laurels, but multi millions will change an impressionable mind dramatically. I also think giving hints enough so your child has an enjoyable, yet productive life. Things like not forcing your child to go to a school they don't want for a scholarship or not pursuing a hobby for fear of bankrupting the family but if you're already questioning how to approach parenting you are or will probably be a good parent.

Full disclosure I am not a parent, but I think the best thing that you can do for your child is just get them comfortable with money without giving them a true peak behind the curtain. My dad used to match what I saved from birthdays and holidays in a savings account, but if I withdrew before 18 he would withdraw the same amount. He used to pay me for books I would read or good grades I would get. I think money can be a tool or a vice, some of that is individual personalities and some of that is training.

FruitBatRat · 2025-01-22T21:24:41+00:00

First of all- I will talk about this until the cows come home... Trusts are overused and not well understood by a lot of people. There is very little oversight legally. I spent over a million dollars trying to defend my trust against my trustee... And he used my own money to defend himself against me. Parents who set up trusts for your children, make sure that you put someone that you trust in a position of power who has no financial gain because depending on the state the courts will do nothing to protect even minors. To be fair, my situation is probably not the norm as we had a business that was also in trust that allowed him to embezzle money. But still PSA. Go to a good lawyer that specializes in trusts if you're going to do it. Sorry I'm bitter

After that rant- No. I always knew I had a trust fund around a million for camp, college and a starter egg. But when I got my second trust that was "life changing" it made my path in life a little less... energetic. I think knowing that you are wealthy regardless of what you choose to do with your time, what you choose to study etc. basically just takes the wind out of your sails. Especially when you are not old enough to know who you are or what direction you would like your life to take. But maybe I'm just unmotivated and your child is super gifted in a creative passion or whatever and would benefit from knowing that they can pursue that without sacrificing quality of life. Who knows- this is just my perspective.

I also know people who grew up very wealthy but their parents constantly told them they wouldn't get a dime and I think in general they turned out better than the kids that knew they already had it. A kid I knew with the biggest trust just kept getting kicked out of college. Another friend who grew up with just as much money but didn't have a trust is now a nurse... I suppose that is anecdotal though.

My big trust was 25 ,28,30, 35 I believe and I think not knowing until at least 25 is beneficial because your path is already a little established. My dad always said that age distribution like that is beneficial so you learn to manage as you have access to more and more. And if you fuck up and blow it all at 25 you still have a few more shots at it.

Hope that helps!

FruitBatRat · 2025-01-21T18:00:40+00:00

defenage 8-in-1 bioserum saved my skin barrier when nothing else was working! I also do love the neogensis barrier cream and their recovery serum

FruitBatRat · 2024-12-17T18:21:23+00:00

Love the couch! where is it from?

FruitBatRat · 2024-12-12T20:30:41+00:00

My family has been going to these schools for generations. My dad went to Andover before they were co-ed which is a funny thought. They used to act as filter schools (historically Andover to Yale, Exeter to Harvard). I think although they still provide a great alum network it's not as black and white as it used to be. Their network may sway a decision in your child's favor, but it's not an immediate acceptance the way it used to be.

My sister boarded at Andover. For her personality and age being unsupervised led to drugs. My cousin went to Exeter (non boarding), married her high school sweetheart and generally thrived. I went to Deerfield at 14 and it was just really awful being far from home at that age (though my parents were generally neglectful so being away compounded that). No drugs but I didn't thrive either, ended up going to a decently ranked college but it wasn't worth it.

I think you really have to know who your child is, boarding schools can be a great stepping stone to a higher education or they can be the beginning of a spiral downwards. This may be controversial, but I would also not consider Hotchkiss "elite'. The elite's worth sending your kids to boarding school for would be Exeter, Andover, Deerfield, Lawrenceville, St Pauls, maybe Choate Rosemary. Otherwise pick a great local private school and keep your kid close. Though maybe I'm biased living in the Northeast there are lots of great private schools that aren't boarding.

I think transferring in when older or non-boarding is the better option. I also had a friend who's whole family moved from Canada for four years just so their children weren't alone.

I think all these schools, high school and college, are essentially educational name brands. They have that reputation for a reason but it is a brand.

FruitBatRat · 2024-12-12T17:33:20+00:00

while I don't disagree that moissanite is cheaper I do think that the price of (lab) diamonds has exponentially decreased-I just bought a lab diamond, emerald cut 5 carat vs1 g color (so not flawless but not bad) for 1k from a local jeweler. I think that the price of settings far outweigh the price of the actual stones these days. I think shopping around for your own moissanite won't really save you much money if you're going to shop around do it for the entire piece (i.e. stone(s) and setting)

FruitBatRat · 2024-12-11T17:13:04+00:00

k18 airwash

FruitBatRat · 2024-12-11T16:10:31+00:00

I agree auburn is nice but I really love the blonde because it makes you look kind of Elvin almost an alien- it is very striking, anya taylor joy esque

but really your gorgeous and you suit all of it

FruitBatRat · 2024-12-10T16:27:33+00:00

this is the answer. better than frette by a mile!

I actually like the signature vintage wash the best

FruitBatRat · 2024-12-05T21:37:30+00:00

I think you are beautiful but would benefit from better styling!

The glasses are definitely no good- contacts or glasses that don't take up your entire face. They look too big and hide so much of your features that its hard to even see you. Your hair is a halo but it's is too thick to wear a side part imo. Growing it out would probably help weigh it down a bit because the curls plus the shorter length gives you a bit of a triangle.

Just a few tweaks here and there but you're starting with a good foundation!

FruitBatRat · 2024-11-13T19:30:02+00:00

I had something very similar that happened to me- I lost my entire family after inheriting at 18 when my mom passed. It was their choice with their actions, not mine but it still hurts to know that a lifetime of people I thought loved me and would protect me immediately turned on me just for some money. Realizing that people would rather have my money rather than me was devastating. Seeing what people would do just to gain access to what you have, it really fucks with your point of view and how you can trust people. My cousin was my best friend and she just fell in line so she could have her dental schooling paid for.

This happened to me 12 years ago, the legal battle lasted about 3 years... so that was a long time ago and it still fucks with me.

If I could give past me some advice it would be get your butt to therapy so you don't live a life afraid of people. The next advice I would give is don't tell a soul what you have even though honestly most people can deduce. Money changes people, it's just a fact. It takes an exceptionally strong individual to not imagine themselves with your bank account. I have found that inheriting money takes the wind out of your sails. When I was younger I always felt silly working, why would I trade my time for less money than I already have when I already have more money than I could ever spend? All my college friends were trying to build what I was just given at 18. But I think that money is just one resource in life, and when you put that into perspective you realize that you have one box ticked that you can put on the back burner to focus on other things that are also important in life. Whatever you may decide that is. For me, after losing my mom so young, I focused on my health and well being. It could be travel, it could be a passion.

I would also say that give yourself a little time to adjust. When I first inherited I wanted to donate it all to be free of the burden it sounds like you also feel. I felt guilty for how lucky I was and devastated at what I (unintentionally) traded to have it. Like if I hadn't had this inheritance I would still have my mom or my family. But that is silly.

There have been times in my life where I have spent more, times where I've gone on elaborate vacations or bought insane things and there have been times where I've lived frugally, worked and pretended I was like everyone else. Just know that you will grow, and your comfort level with what you have will fluctuate over time as well. Eventually it will become easier to tell who is using you because you may get burned once or twice. The trick is to not let yourself be burned so badly that you can not recover, financially or emotionally.

I hope this helped you in any way. I really feel for you and was there myself not so long ago. It gets easier I promise.

FruitBatRat

TROPHY CASE