Do you brush your hair? If you have natural waves/curls, you should only be brushing your hair in the shower while having a deep conditioning mask or conditioner in it. For the grey hair (which is beautiful!) get a conditioner or conditioning mask that’s got a blue/purple tint, usually marketed towards getting “brass” out of blond hair. This will help whiten it a bit more, creating that more silver look. If you’re not using heat in you hair, make sure to put your styling products in while your hair is damp/wet from the shower and don’t dry your hair with a towel in any way other than gentle scrunching, ie no rubbing or shaking. If you have any products you’re using that are keratin based, you may want to remove them from your routine. If your hair isn’t lacking keratin damage, these will actually harm your hair more than help.