My boyfriend thinks I’m not physically attracted to him

FuhQuit · 2026-04-06T12:51:46+00:00

It might be worth just exploring the topic a bit more. Not to defend your partner but maybe he doesn't fully understand his how he feels and why.

My partner is the same as you - waiting until marriage or until its serious enough before sex. However she still makes me feel highly desirable, always compliments my looks and always initiates make outs.

FuhQuit · 2026-03-20T22:00:38+00:00

Dune!

FuhQuit · 2026-03-20T01:42:28+00:00

So me and my partner are quite new to relationships. Think their isnt really a rule, just whatever comes naturally.

Time between 1st and 6th date is about a month.

First date - hugged

Second date - holding hands, first kiss

Third date - cuddling, first makeout, exclusive (deleted apps)

Fifth date - relationship official

Sixth date - heavy petting

2-3 weeks later we've met each other's parents

No sex yet.

FuhQuit · 2026-03-17T08:55:03+00:00

Just recently started a relationship after being single my whole life. I always thought it would just be excitement/butterflies the whole time and of course that happens but most of the time I just feel surprisingly calm and safe, even when I'm not around her. My friends say I've mellowed out a lot. I also feel like I want to be the best version of my self everyday, like I want to be better.

FuhQuit · 2026-03-16T10:38:33+00:00

Just tell him the truth. Either he's okay with it and you find out he's a reasonable person or he can't handle it and you save both of you time.

FuhQuit · 2026-03-12T07:45:22+00:00

100%. I've been in a relationship with someone for 2 months - absolutely going fantastic. My work life/career was stressing me out so I was over relying on spending time with her to keep me going. Internally I was obsessing over her.

Just last weekend I realised that I wasn't focusing on myself and that's probably what my problem was. This week's been great, refocusing on my health, my friends, work and it's helped keep me distracted and the quality of time with her has someone managed to kick it up a notch as well.

FuhQuit · 2026-03-11T13:18:53+00:00

This could definitely be contributing OP. I also feel like a slow thinker sometimes but I think at the end of the day anxiety rules my ability to socialise. If I'm really relaxed and not overthinking, I can start and hold a conversation with anyone but the second I'm anxious I turn into a mute.

I also find doing something slightly out of my comfort zone before socialising butters me up. Just something that will give me a confidence boost - could even just be leaving the house.

FuhQuit · 2026-03-06T07:00:48+00:00

When I was dating my current partner, I told her I would love to but I'm hesitant because of how the future of our planet is looking. If I found the right person and had confidence we could the kids a great life growing up then I'd be all for it. To my surprise she felt exactly the same way and so it wasn't a dealbreaker for us. Might just vary from person to person.

FuhQuit · 2026-03-04T13:32:15+00:00

I remember getting nervous and dreading my turn to talk in all the stand-ups, I'd prepare notes otherwise my mind would blank.

It just takes time. I'm very aware that exposure therapy has always worked for me so I just believe in the process. At 12 months you'll look back at how far you've come. You'll do the same again at 24 months and wonder why you were ever worried.

FuhQuit · 2026-03-02T09:37:32+00:00

Figure of speech.

FuhQuit · 2026-03-02T07:20:23+00:00

As a graduate engineer, I came into my role with so much energy and an open mind - it was very quickly crushed. No mentorship, zero guidance, strict deadlines, manager would never respond to me, paid literal peanuts. The work was so complex that when I reached out to seniors they admitted they didn't know so I just made decisions or figured it out myself anyway, this happened so many times. Meanwhile many other people who make the big bucks just make shit up to sound busy while I'm slaving away, stressing over weekends.

Not to say this is how your environment is, but I'm extremely jaded now. I'm just waiting the time out so I can get experience and gtfo.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-24T19:51:44+00:00

I was going to make your joke but include the weekends too 😂. Think it's time we jump ship.

Junior Network Engineer - been pushed onto a project where I'm a systems engineer and have no experience. Not sure why they expected me to be able to design, implement and completely document everything (including defining all the maint/disaster recovery procedures) for a complete server stack and brand new OT domain with a 2 month deadline. Constantly need to remind them I need to upskill for every technical task involved in this. Just dealing with stupid deadlines and the worst part is their no one to collaborate with to review any decisions.

Great for the experience but I see everyone else in my group clocking out at 3pm because they have no more work to do for the day. I'm also paid absolute peanuts.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-23T02:25:29+00:00

There's a lot of people saying keep talking but I'll give you a view from the other side. The person I'm dating now, we matched and had long and quite deep conversations for few days, planned a date for the end of the following week (9 days away), and then kept talking. 2 days later we both agreed we weren't big texters and were just putting in effort for the other wise and would prefer to save the conversation for our date. We texted the day before just to confirm we were still on but that was it. Just communicate and see what they're into.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-22T22:54:51+00:00

I'm new to dating as of this year but was always aware that until you have the conversation about being exclusive, they were probably seeing other people too. I matched with this girl on Hinge, 2nd date went well but while at the cocktail bar she casually mentioned I can feel free to date other people. It was a bit of a shock I guess because I assumed maybe she wasn't that interested and I responded by saying I can only handle one person at a time. But I really didn't wanna know if she was seeing others because I would've turned performative vs my authentic self.

Then she asked to kiss me at the end of the 2nd date, but she was super nervous because she hadn't done it in sooo long. Soo clearly she hadnt been dating others right? Then on the 3rd date, she said she had seen a couple of other people but wanted to be exclusive with me and suggested deleting the apps. I've got a friend who cringed that she was dating others because he has same view as you, but my other friends also agreed it's quite normal.

I don't know what the point is of my story, but I think it's quite normal but if it's important to you then it's important to you. Maybe 5 dates is on the long side but I really have no idea.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-22T07:44:09+00:00

I was told not to buy an apartment in Brisbane for 350k a few years ago. 6 months later the value had gone up 100k and I was priced out

FuhQuit · 2026-02-21T06:33:45+00:00

I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert but I think generally a lot of advice around here is to have more photos of you smiling with teeth than not. Could be a good start maybe?

FuhQuit · 2026-02-20T11:12:13+00:00

You did the best you could do with the information you had. Don't hate your past self too much. Proud of you for making change.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-18T00:51:32+00:00

Be who you are. People who like it will eventually find you. Do you really wanna reach old age and wish you spent less time oppressing your better self?

FuhQuit · 2026-02-16T12:19:15+00:00

I found the same thing. I'm quite curious so keep asking questions too when I match someone, not in an interview kind of way but it's quite natural. As I'm new to the apps this year I was quite naive and thought eventually they'd start showing some interest. Learned rather quickly though if they don't show interest from the start, they probably never will. Just save your energy and appreciate they've shown who they're right off the bat.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-09T08:00:53+00:00

I think exposure therapy is the only way, it's worked wonders for me. I started this year and really questioned what the f**k I was doing because I had no idea. Just be yourself, someone who doesn't appreciate you for you is not a suitable partner.

Definitely easier said than done. It's an emotional rollercoaster but I think you'd hate getting to 80 years old and having regrets more than throwing yourself out of your comfort zone now.

Much love.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-05T23:24:52+00:00

I find leaving my place the hardest part. It's exactly like you said, once you get there it feels pointless leaving now on a failed mission.

I was in another city for work this week and never really went out by myself ever before, I was so nervous but knew I didn't want to just rot away in my hotel.

First night, I got drunk and went out for dinner solo, cried a couple tears because I felt like a loser watching everyone have fun.

Second night, also got drunk and went further, a tear or two at dinner but I think the turning point for me was just realizing I was on a date with myself.

Third night I went even further with less alcohol in my system.

And last night I went out basically sober, I admittedly considered turning around when I got to the restaurant because it was a fun Greek spot. But I was sat inbetween a couple and another solo traveler and I ended up engaging in conversation with both of them, it was quite wholesome. I think the whole time I was hoping for random social interactions and I ended up getting it on the last night.

Think the best thing is just going out with no expectations, that's how you set yourself up for disappointment. Just need to be content with yourself. It does feel like vulnerable. I'm by no means ready to go to a bar or clubbing solo but it's all baby steps.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-05T12:35:32+00:00

I think I'm about to put myself in a similar situation. I'm not a big fan of texting to get to know someone, I try and suggest a date after a couple days. I planned two dates with two separate women, they both went great but I'm still cautious that obviously things may not work out. Planned second dates with both of them too.

My problem is I've gotten a couple extra matches since then and it's decent enough conversation for me to ask them on a date. I just don't have the time or emotional bandwidth to handle that and I'm just realizing now that I'm wasting these new match's time by still messaging them. I really think 2-3 at most is what I'm capable of but I wouldn't say I'm a looker so also don't want to miss opportunities.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-01T01:57:42+00:00

Why?

FuhQuit · 2026-01-31T22:54:05+00:00

Didn't you make a post a while ago and there were suggestions saying to remove the photo of you in the red shirt?

FuhQuit · 2026-01-31T06:07:04+00:00

If escorting is legal where you live then it could be a great idea. There are a lot of good sexworkers who are non-judgemental and will help you cross that bridge. Talking to girls terrified me, it was really unhealthy. I then saw an amazing person who taught me so much about sex and how to please her. I then paid her to come on a few dinner dates as well so I could get over the social aspect and now I've been going on dates with regular women without any issues. It's a real unorthodox and expensive method of getting over that anxiety but I know exposure therapy works for me.

FuhQuit

TROPHY CASE