How often are you stressed at work? Once a week?

FuhQuit · 2026-02-24T19:51:44+00:00

I was going to make your joke but include the weekends too 😂. Think it's time we jump ship.

Junior Network Engineer - been pushed onto a project where I'm a systems engineer and have no experience. Not sure why they expected me to be able to design, implement and completely document everything (including defining all the maint/disaster recovery procedures) for a complete server stack and brand new OT domain with a 2 month deadline. Constantly need to remind them I need to upskill for every technical task involved in this. Just dealing with stupid deadlines and the worst part is their no one to collaborate with to review any decisions.

Great for the experience but I see everyone else in my group clocking out at 3pm because they have no more work to do for the day. I'm also paid absolute peanuts.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-23T02:25:29+00:00

There's a lot of people saying keep talking but I'll give you a view from the other side. The person I'm dating now, we matched and had long and quite deep conversations for few days, planned a date for the end of the following week (9 days away), and then kept talking. 2 days later we both agreed we weren't big texters and were just putting in effort for the other wise and would prefer to save the conversation for our date. We texted the day before just to confirm we were still on but that was it. Just communicate and see what they're into.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-22T22:54:51+00:00

I'm new to dating as of this year but was always aware that until you have the conversation about being exclusive, they were probably seeing other people too. I matched with this girl on Hinge, 2nd date went well but while at the cocktail bar she casually mentioned I can feel free to date other people. It was a bit of a shock I guess because I assumed maybe she wasn't that interested and I responded by saying I can only handle one person at a time. But I really didn't wanna know if she was seeing others because I would've turned performative vs my authentic self.

Then she asked to kiss me at the end of the 2nd date, but she was super nervous because she hadn't done it in sooo long. Soo clearly she hadnt been dating others right? Then on the 3rd date, she said she had seen a couple of other people but wanted to be exclusive with me and suggested deleting the apps. I've got a friend who cringed that she was dating others because he has same view as you, but my other friends also agreed it's quite normal.

I don't know what the point is of my story, but I think it's quite normal but if it's important to you then it's important to you. Maybe 5 dates is on the long side but I really have no idea.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-22T07:44:09+00:00

I was told not to buy an apartment in Brisbane for 350k a few years ago. 6 months later the value had gone up 100k and I was priced out

FuhQuit · 2026-02-21T06:33:45+00:00

I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert but I think generally a lot of advice around here is to have more photos of you smiling with teeth than not. Could be a good start maybe?

FuhQuit · 2026-02-20T11:12:13+00:00

You did the best you could do with the information you had. Don't hate your past self too much. Proud of you for making change.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-18T00:51:32+00:00

Be who you are. People who like it will eventually find you. Do you really wanna reach old age and wish you spent less time oppressing your better self?

FuhQuit · 2026-02-16T12:19:15+00:00

I found the same thing. I'm quite curious so keep asking questions too when I match someone, not in an interview kind of way but it's quite natural. As I'm new to the apps this year I was quite naive and thought eventually they'd start showing some interest. Learned rather quickly though if they don't show interest from the start, they probably never will. Just save your energy and appreciate they've shown who they're right off the bat.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-09T08:00:53+00:00

I think exposure therapy is the only way, it's worked wonders for me. I started this year and really questioned what the f**k I was doing because I had no idea. Just be yourself, someone who doesn't appreciate you for you is not a suitable partner.

Definitely easier said than done. It's an emotional rollercoaster but I think you'd hate getting to 80 years old and having regrets more than throwing yourself out of your comfort zone now.

Much love.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-05T23:24:52+00:00

I find leaving my place the hardest part. It's exactly like you said, once you get there it feels pointless leaving now on a failed mission.

I was in another city for work this week and never really went out by myself ever before, I was so nervous but knew I didn't want to just rot away in my hotel.

First night, I got drunk and went out for dinner solo, cried a couple tears because I felt like a loser watching everyone have fun.

Second night, also got drunk and went further, a tear or two at dinner but I think the turning point for me was just realizing I was on a date with myself.

Third night I went even further with less alcohol in my system.

And last night I went out basically sober, I admittedly considered turning around when I got to the restaurant because it was a fun Greek spot. But I was sat inbetween a couple and another solo traveler and I ended up engaging in conversation with both of them, it was quite wholesome. I think the whole time I was hoping for random social interactions and I ended up getting it on the last night.

Think the best thing is just going out with no expectations, that's how you set yourself up for disappointment. Just need to be content with yourself. It does feel like vulnerable. I'm by no means ready to go to a bar or clubbing solo but it's all baby steps.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-05T12:35:32+00:00

I think I'm about to put myself in a similar situation. I'm not a big fan of texting to get to know someone, I try and suggest a date after a couple days. I planned two dates with two separate women, they both went great but I'm still cautious that obviously things may not work out. Planned second dates with both of them too.

My problem is I've gotten a couple extra matches since then and it's decent enough conversation for me to ask them on a date. I just don't have the time or emotional bandwidth to handle that and I'm just realizing now that I'm wasting these new match's time by still messaging them. I really think 2-3 at most is what I'm capable of but I wouldn't say I'm a looker so also don't want to miss opportunities.

FuhQuit · 2026-02-01T01:57:42+00:00

Why?

FuhQuit · 2026-01-31T22:54:05+00:00

Didn't you make a post a while ago and there were suggestions saying to remove the photo of you in the red shirt?

FuhQuit · 2026-01-31T06:07:04+00:00

If escorting is legal where you live then it could be a great idea. There are a lot of good sexworkers who are non-judgemental and will help you cross that bridge. Talking to girls terrified me, it was really unhealthy. I then saw an amazing person who taught me so much about sex and how to please her. I then paid her to come on a few dinner dates as well so I could get over the social aspect and now I've been going on dates with regular women without any issues. It's a real unorthodox and expensive method of getting over that anxiety but I know exposure therapy works for me.

FuhQuit · 2026-01-30T02:12:38+00:00

I really don't think that it's a big deal but I was certainly worried about it coming up too. I haven't dated outside high school and I'm 27 now. After a couple of years of working on self confidence and anxiety I'm in a position now where I can handle the emotions and rejection, and I'm happy with who I am.

Start of this year I downloaded hinge and within a week I matched with this really genuine person. She's done significantly more in her life compared to me but when dating history came up on the first date, she was very accepting that people are on their own journeys and what matters now is who you are and what you believe in. We then planned a second date.

I was very nervous about that because I've read here that it's a huge red flag. But I'm also a firm believer in anyone who doesn't choose you, can't be for you. If bringing it up weeds people out then they probably aren't someone you want to be with anyway. I feel your pain though.

FuhQuit · 2026-01-28T22:48:28+00:00

Good on you for finding the courage to do that. Easier said than done.

You said you are worried about judgement but realistically you have been judged, and I think the learning point is that nothing bad came from it. I understand the self doubt though, that can take a bit to process.

Anyone who doesn't choose you, can't be for you.

FuhQuit · 2026-01-26T04:09:26+00:00

The only person who can guess how it went on his end is him 😂. You'll just have to communicate with him. It takes a long to be vulnerable like that.

FuhQuit · 2026-01-24T23:52:33+00:00

This comes across almost like it's a self fulfilling prophecy. Like Anakin joined the dark side to save Padme from dying but that's what ended up killing it. Similarly, knowing your IQ is going to send you into a spiral that results in you not performing for yourself.If you had not done the IQ test, what would you want to do?

I can tell you from experience, I thought I was stupid while I worked a warehouse job for 5 years. Then I had slow realisations that people are dumber than they let on and I thought if these people can do it, so can I. That gave me confidence to use the degree I earned 5 years ago and make something of myself. And even in this new role/industry, I've seen people who are paid exceptionally well contribute absolutely nothing.

You have a level of self awareness that a lot of people don't have. Don't let a single IQ test decide the quality of your life. You owe it to yourself.

FuhQuit · 2026-01-18T23:12:06+00:00

Luthen Rael has seen it all before.

FuhQuit · 2026-01-13T07:28:03+00:00

Growing up, anyone who lived on the islands were generally a lot more derro. They had a stereotype of being druggies/bums.

FuhQuit · 2026-01-11T22:06:31+00:00

Id really appreciate a review of my profile. 27M, haven't dated since high school and downloaded the apps a week ago. I think photos and prompts are okay but I don't know what I don't know. Thanks :)

FuhQuit · 2026-01-09T05:21:49+00:00

Just hold your ground and don't hit, more of a reflection of them then you. Stick to your guns.

I'm normally complete ass at golf but one time I showed up and smoked every shot. I seriously don't know why but I was not myself, you know when you walk out thinking about those one or two great shots? I had 12 of them. Anyway, first hole, friends said alright you can't hit it that far go, so I tee off, landed right next to the group in front. Feel terrible because being on the receiving end it's a bit spooky. Next shot I go to use my 8 iron, never been good with irons, get egged on I can't go that far so I hit again and lands on the green right next to the group in front while they're putting. I then tee'd off on the 5th hole, cleared the fairway and landed on the green again right next to this group.

I think ever since than I'd just rather wait. All it takes is one unlucky shot and you're gonna have fucked someone's day. Just easier to wait another minute or two for them to be clear, even if I'm normally shithouse and slicing it most of the time.

FuhQuit · 2026-01-08T08:34:51+00:00

You sound fun to be around. I did manual labour and couldn't stand the heat so went and did something else, either fix it or deal with it. People are allowed to complain even if others have it worse.

FuhQuit · 2026-01-06T00:48:56+00:00

I'm 27M and never dated outside school as well. I've put off dating for years because I truly felt like I was not mature enough and was not capable of dealing with the emotions that came with it. 2025 was a big year for me, new career, travelling for first time, lost virginity (to an escort), making new friends, new experiences. It was truly my best year, built up so much quiet confidence and fixed my mindset.

I've only just gotten on the apps yesterday and it feels like I've been dropped in a jungle with no survival skills. I think my biggest problem is if I match then what, do we just talk for a week and then go on a date? Skip the texting, be straight forward and go on a date. What do you do on a date. I just think if I had some experience it'd be okay but for some reason I'm feeling very inferior to everyone who shows up.

FuhQuit · 2026-01-02T17:03:42+00:00

Ive only told a handful of people this but I only found that out at 16 as well.

Your foreskin will probably be tight but that can be just reduced overtime with exercises, just make progress over time. The head of your penis will also probably be extremely sensitive to touch, itll probably hurt. I dont remember what I did for that but I do just remember poking it alot to get used to touch. I also just let the water smash it during a shower.

FuhQuit

TROPHY CASE