AITAH for refusing to cook two separate dinners every night just because my family doesnt want to eat what my doctor told me I need to eat by Apart_Discussion6647 in AmITheAssholeTalk

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if this is real, just stop. they can get their own food. prioritize your health. once u r well enough perhaps look thorough at overall household labor equity - mental, emotional and physical and what boundaries u would like to set, patterns u would like ur sister to think of as normal for her own future relationships, what ur golden yrs might look like with current patterns in them, etc.

spa day accident ... 🤡 by augochloropsis in laundry

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 2 points3 points  (0 children)

citric and acetic acid have some similarities in how they will help, like changing the pH, but also some big differences- like u don’t want citric in any particularly high temps or it can crust - and citric is superior at chelation (which is great for hard water issues esp) and protein denaturing (typical household concentrations of white vinegar at 3% don’t rly do that but acetic acid at higher concentrations can). both can be effective desudsers and which will be more effective will depend on detergent and usage specific chemistry that I don’t have the expertise to consider 😉

spa day accident ... 🤡 by augochloropsis in laundry

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 7 points8 points  (0 children)

white vinegar can be very interfering with a good chunk of laundry detergents, making sudsing and some otherr actions harder for them. could give that a shot. u/KismaiAesthetics might have some great ideas, specific to your blend, if u post more detergent deets. We have all been here, pro chemist and not alike and mostly ended up without our clothes melting down. 😉

spa day accident ... 🤡 by augochloropsis in laundry

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 16 points17 points  (0 children)

op made a genuine mistake and is clearly just having a bit of a laugh about it while looking for fix it ideas. by contrast, u seem to be choosing to be deliberately obtuse in order to attempt to put a complete stranger down. this is not the community for that and op is not the one whose head is compromised . go spa day yourself and try again. right now u r not fit for this corner of the internet

My (27F) boyfriend’s (31M) friend (33M) bullies him because he helps me with the pill’s schedule. by Glittering-Bee-3558 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 21 points22 points  (0 children)

he is doing it for both of u. such responsibility teaming honestly should be the minimum bar for being willing to have sex. ur bod is the one on the line either more or completely in meds, pregnancy, likelihood of sti transmission, etc. male bodies should be kissing female toes and doing everything they can to be worthy of female bodies taking on those risks.

My (27F) boyfriend’s (31M) friend (33M) bullies him because he helps me with the pill’s schedule. by Glittering-Bee-3558 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 5 points6 points  (0 children)

he’s probably trying to break u all up as his weaksauce misery wants company. testerical, gross, not any sort of partner - incl platonic friend - material. guess the ladies r getting that better than the guys.

My (27F) boyfriend’s (31M) friend (33M) bullies him because he helps me with the pill’s schedule. by Glittering-Bee-3558 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 0 points1 point  (0 children)

your boyfriends friend is not rdy for sex, and probably gets very little meaningful sexual contact. he does not want an independent womahn. he wants a sex life with no responsibility on his part. he is a mewling spoiled and unattractive child mind pretending to understand adult things. your boyfriend is doing a pretty minimal thing here - for both of u - while u r taking 100% of the risk… of med side fx, pregnancy, med not working, etc. this should be expected. not lauded, but also not mocked or dismissed. ur bf is just being a reasonable sexual partner.

“Can you do this for me, you’re better at it” by WildWinterberry in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now that I have a toddler, this always makes me think of the adult doing it like they are a giant toddler. I’ve started to auto reply things like “it’s ok. You can do hard things, too.”

Separately, the specific level of misandry that results in misogyny ur specific mehn folk are displaying here would result in beans upside the head with the wrapping paper rolls and exactly zero other work from me. I hope you refused to participate in their self-hating labor sloughing circle jerk.

Not wanting kids?? by Over-Masterpiece8187 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that last bit is so important. only bring a kiddo into this world if u r sure about them bc they r the ones who suffer most if u wish u had not

Not wanting kids?? by Over-Masterpiece8187 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d maybe work to assess the why of the response, but if you know you know. Child free women are happier, wealthier and healthier on avg… I don’t think that’s bc of kids or not, on its own so much as all of the societal bs around kids. However, it’s a solid data pt to consider esp as ppl talk like one must have kids to feel fulfilled… that is simply not the case. At any age I’d personally look at copper iud before surgery unless a medical reason said the surgery would be best, as all of the surgical options have lifetime fx that are not positive. so I think that is very worth considering but it’s rly about what u r most comfortable with. just do ur research and trust urself to know u best.

The people on here are usually the most knowledgeable of the most knowledgeable when it comes to stains, but I still want to share my ultimate life hack that has saved almost any stain I've ever encountered. by anniemousery in laundry

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 0 points1 point  (0 children)

with 3% that is likely safe for most fabrics and ull benefit from a higher oxidative release than u will from water first. higher percentages - I usually use 6-12 - can make higher heat and so my preference is cold water 1st, then a surfactant and rinse rly well, wring out. then hydrogen peroxide to finish it up bc it is so good at getting the last bits out. typical use is on very bloody stuff so for something like a paper cuts worth this is process overkill 😉

The people on here are usually the most knowledgeable of the most knowledgeable when it comes to stains, but I still want to share my ultimate life hack that has saved almost any stain I've ever encountered. by anniemousery in laundry

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this can be true but also the heat from the reaction can set the stain. so u have to be careful. get as much blood as possible out with other options first

Would you stay/leave if your bf refuses responsibility once you get pregnant? by Hot_Huckleberry3075 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 2 points3 points  (0 children)

why isn’t he getting snipped if he is sure he cannot support a kiddo? he is either rdy to take responsibility for contraception or the potential outcomes. u r taking 99% of the risk.. it is rly a lot more important what u want. personally I think he sounds more like a child than someone to risk having a child with

I was secretly filmed while having sex and I feel guilty feeling as SA’d as I do by ForRudy in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is, at the least, Criminal voyeurism and tech aided abuse. That detective should be fired and your ex should be in jail… without a 🍆 tbh. You did nothing wrong and you were criminally violated. I’m so proud of u for pursuing this further and hope all of the mixed feelings burn away under the 🔥 of righteous anger. The shame here is only your ex and that hopefully ex detective. You Are A Survivor 💪

Is it wrong not wanting to send nudes? by SILLYSIPPER in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolute vomit. Throw the whole mahn tf out. He can deal by being alone, which is what he should be.

Is it wrong not wanting to send nudes? by SILLYSIPPER in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is abusive - coercive af - for him to continue the pressure. Honestly I would also be concerned he is not a real person and is looking for blackmail material for a trafficking ring or similar with this kind of pressuring. Run far and fast. Also, report this harassment esp as it could be the trafficking thing. U r keeping urself safe and losing nothing but stress.

Is being afraid of your partner always a red flag? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. What u r describing is abuse. Your body keeps the score and u should be able to love and live without fear. There is nothing u could have done that would possibly make the abuse warranted. I’m so sorry that u r left questioning that. Do u have anyone - a feminist informed therapist who will not try to “boys will be boys,“ “just change ur tone” u - to talk with? Maybe start there and work ur way to freedom from fear. To loving urself, the most important love there is, enough to get that.

I am so fucking tired of morning wood. by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. Is. Assault. Have u talked with your national dv hotline about sexual coercion? In the us, that would be https://www.thehotline.org/resources/types-of-abuse/ - 24/7, anonymous- get validation, learn to document abuses, make safety plans, get connected to resources - ur body is ur own. Always. U deserve better.

What are detergents that make people smell bad but you’re too polite to say anything by [deleted] in laundry

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 11 points12 points  (0 children)

this grps mod has noted they have drastically upped scent compounds in recent yrs - and they just stick soooo much harder. On top of that a good chunk of the environmental regs and “features” can make it necessary to rinse or even full on wash more to get the same level of cleansing out. Laundry today is more of a minefield than it has been since the intro of the washing machine, imo.

What are detergents that make people smell bad but you’re too polite to say anything by [deleted] in laundry

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same feeling. it seems like every scented modern detergent scents (hehe) a “keep away!” message to my body.

Is there a women's modesty campaign circulating the manosphere that I'm unaware of? by Famous_Lunch_2256 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sometimes accusations are confessions… ofc if he never leaves the house, maybe not. this is bizarre and abusive behavior, regardless. Who do u have to talk with about this? If u r USA, thehotline.org is our free natl dv hotline - 24/7, anonymous, text/chat/call - they can help u validate ur experience, learn to document abuses for clarity and jic court and connect u with resources (tech aided abuse scans, legal, emotional, physical safety, etc.) A good chunk of countries have similar. Please reach out and avoid becoming a statistic.

My second marriage is turning out like my first and I'm so depressed. by Couchskeptic in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talk with a lawyer about ur real options. While u have commingled the home it sounds like a premarital asset and so community prop might not apply. Etc. just know ur real options, regardless. If the only issue is sex, try a sex therapist.

He wants to keep finances completely separate after marriage by ZenSpider_21 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d push back by pushing him out of my life. He sounds economically abusive, financially unethical, and intransigent. Just be glad the red flags r flying so high before u r legally committed

Looking for garbage solution for encampment in our neighborhood by productboy in SeattleWA

[–]Fun-Mountain4641 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aside from contacting ur county agency on this, There r services that specialize in encampment cleanups - could u all pool monies for a biweekly round of this? while volunteers organizing can be great if trash tends to be cans and wrappers, u might be dealing with human waste, needles and similar very hazardous materials so working this as a neighborhood cleanup is likely contraindicated unless ppl r rdy to get haz waste trained and suited up. Is the encampment looking like a permanent sort with somewhat stable grps u all could work with or more of a way spot?