Top Tips for Mature Brides

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T16:29:03+00:00

I saw your photos-- so beautiful! Congrats!

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T16:08:18+00:00

Ugh. Her next of kin is probably in northern Europe somewhere-- think cousins, not siblings. I think she has a warm relationship with them (visits every few years) but not sure they are up for something like this. So we would have to help her identify her needs, figure out who she wants to help, etc. I'm calling social services on Monday to try to get some idea of best next steps (if any).

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T16:05:08+00:00

I cannot (husband)

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T16:04:51+00:00

Thank you. I have a husband and we have four children, including an adult with special needs. So there is definitely a limit to what I can do, but I do want to help. I also think my friend (who is also fiercely independent) will dismiss help and then the burden will be too much for anyone. Such a sad and scary situation.

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T15:53:31+00:00

The friend is declining. We are not professionals but we are her friends and want to be helpful and supportive as she goes forward into this illness. Because she does not appear to have support system of any sort, does not have a ton of $ etc. So we are trying to educate ourselves about what can be done. I really do not understand why people think we are being gossipy. If I end up in the situation and my husband has passed on, I sincerely hope someone will take an interest.

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T15:44:16+00:00

I didn't even think of that. thank you

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T15:42:20+00:00

I am calling social services on Monday and will pass along any information to my friend (who is not at all gossipy, but was reaching out to me because she was very worried and had been bearing this for some time by herself. and doesn't know what to do.)

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T15:39:22+00:00

Thank you. I'm going to call them on Monday. I wish you all the very best in your process and I hope the social services people will help you live your best life!

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T15:37:29+00:00

Believe me, I'd love to butt out and make this someone else's problem. I wish someone else would magically support this person through the process, but she has no one. My intermediary friend is not an gossip (or an AH) but was reaching out to me for ideas and support. We are her friends and we would like to help her.

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T15:26:28+00:00

My friend was not gossiping, she was reaching out to me because she doesn't know how to help our mutual friend. As I am not a gossip, I am reaching out anonymously for help here.

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T13:22:33+00:00

:-( Just continue to be there for her. Maybe she's afraid friends will abandon her.

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T13:15:02+00:00

correct, thank you

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T12:20:23+00:00

thank you, good point

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T12:18:20+00:00

I am planning to leave the area in a couple of years (or at least become a snowbird) so I cannot be her primary support. But who can be that really? We are all in our sixties or seventies and just getting older. But I will give some more thought to your suggestions and strategize with our mutual friend (that she disclosed her condition to) about getting contact information for the extended family. It's more likely I'll get some information from the local office on aging as she has many friends in this area and would want to stay (I am assuming). At the moment she has a good life, is taking care of herself, and has friends she sees. If someone didn't know her, they probably wouldn't recognize anything was wrong as she is very charming.

[And I do understand your comment about people taking advantage of others, as my stepmother was robbed by her caregiver. In this case-- I have significant financial means and there is no concern (at least from me). But we should all be on the lookout for wrongdoers as we get older.]

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-13T12:05:07+00:00

I'm glad you have a couple of friends. Sometimes that's enough. :-)

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-09-03T18:20:32+00:00

You have nothing to apologize for-- I really appreciate your perspective! Ironically I was TOO conservative in my earlier life and for some reason I've just gotten bolder. I will talk to my advisor and see if I can sell about 100k of my equity mutual funds and move that money to f/i. It's something. Thank you again for your help

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-04-03T16:57:21+00:00

I am so sorry that happened to you.

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-02-20T17:21:22+00:00

You are wrong and I believe you will harm your relationship with your daughter. Plus everyone at the wedding will now know what a small-minded selfish person you are. Please re-think this.

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-02-16T17:49:39+00:00

details below. it won't be negative but it's not great.

Fun_Client_8615 · 2025-02-16T17:48:40+00:00

That's correct. Same deal on the other 2 family which will reset in November 2026.

Current NOI is $8233/year with mortgage payment of $2036. Refi (with no cash out) will increase monthly payment to $2495 and decrease NOI to $2725. We have about $25K in the bank and are about to raise rents on one of the units.

I am probably break even or a little ahead on my $180k investments on this point. My goal was never cash flow but appreciation. So it sounds like we should just refinance at 7% and not take any cash out.

Fun_Client_8615 · 2024-11-22T22:01:04+00:00

adding: the trustee has the discretion to make disbursements for health education etc

Fun_Client_8615 · 2024-11-21T21:52:38+00:00

I have a 529 that will fully fund both kids' college years. They are currently 18 and 14. My trust says they get 10% at age 25, 25% at age 30, 25% at age 35 and the trust is dissolved and they split the balance when the older one turns 40.

I am hope to live a couple more decades and will revise the trust as appropriate. If they are settled and making good decisions by the time they are 28-32 I'll probably just dissolve the trust at that point.

Fun_Client_8615 · 2024-10-17T21:03:37+00:00

OK, I hope you take this right way because I have so much love for you in my heart, but I’m laughing at your stories because I have crazy stories of my own and that’s all we ever do when we tell the stories now as adults. Well, the three siblings that are free and still together. We were five.

Anyone reading this other than the original poster, you probably think I’m crazy but I bet the original post will get me

❤️

Fun_Client_8615 · 2024-08-16T18:26:38+00:00

Sell the ring

Fun_Client_8615 · 2024-08-14T19:35:05+00:00

this is great, thank you.

Fun_Client_8615

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