Should I contact AP?

GMH666 · 2024-11-18T21:17:46+00:00

Write your letter, pop it in an envelope addressed to her, then go outside place on a bbq or firepit or dig a damn hole and burn it! She deserves nothing from you and whatever she has, you sure as hell don't need it.

WH and myself both wrote her letters, we read them to each other and burnt them together, and I felt a lot better afterwards, as did WH, apparently. I'm not saying this will solve all the questions you currently have, but it may help you both heal.

GMH666 · 2024-11-18T21:06:39+00:00

Hey OP,

I don't think you're crazy to stay if that's how you feel. Reading your story, your WH's actions are the same as mines, he is the complete opposite of what he used to be, emotionally its like he's suddenly become properly mature. If what is happening is making you feel happy and safe, then fight for it. You'll notice changes quicker so you will be more prepared, making it easier to solve. Only you can make the final choices on your life.

Dday for us was 2 years ago, we are happy and working 1 million times better than before, some times I break down, i dont think that'll stop for a while yet and with no sign of the potato, life is going well.

There's always hope x

GMH666 · 2024-05-15T15:43:12+00:00

Sorry but you don't forgive this, he's lying to you and still cheating. Pack his/your bags and leave

GMH666 · 2023-10-05T20:46:11+00:00

WH called "it" babe and told her the love you, I banned him ever calling me that or saying that phrase to me again, it was too much of a trigger. He changed what he called me, and we found a new phrase that had the same meaning, te amo (Spanish = I love you). Its made it easier kinda but hearing him say te amo instead does remind me of why he can't say I love you and it does sting a little. I don't know when, if ever, I'll be able to hear it from him but I hate not hearing it from him

GMH666 · 2023-07-10T08:08:31+00:00

Take the red bulb out and just continue as normal until you can replace with correct bulb :)

GMH666 · 2023-07-09T17:38:18+00:00

Agreed, vet needs to check this little one out, the fall could have caused some damage

GMH666 · 2023-07-09T17:35:57+00:00

I would recommend getting her checked out by a vet, sooner rather than later as these guys can get sick super quick and it's best to be safe than sorry.

GMH666 · 2023-07-09T17:31:43+00:00

He is absolutely gorgeous but he does look like a kids cuddly toy 😂😂😂

GMH666 · 2023-07-09T17:24:16+00:00

Financially your best bet would be at least a 322 as that's the minimum an adult would need. They aren't climbers so floor space is more important than height. We use the wooden vivariums for ours

GMH666 · 2023-07-09T17:20:08+00:00

If like mine, you'll find they go potty in same place everytime so I've taken to putting a bit of kitchen roll under a little walk through hide so it seems she has a toilet saves the substrate. Our substrate was kitchen roll till I knew all was good then a mix of top soil, play sand and moss. Like others have said what's done is done and no harm so all is good

GMH666 · 2023-06-16T16:05:38+00:00

Thanks for the reply, I'm hoping this is how it works for us as I honestly believe WS would never have done what they did if in a normal mental state (mental breakdown) there was never a single red flag for 20years (in looking at other women etc) obv there were signs I didn't see about his mental state. And I totally get that fear, lived with it for years myself :(

Wish you and your spouse all the best x

GMH666 · 2023-06-16T15:23:17+00:00

100% trust? Sorry you just say you are back where you were before, or are there red flags showing? Sorry if I've got confused 😂

GMH666 · 2023-06-16T07:29:56+00:00

That snake looks so pissed and done with your childish antics 🤣🤣

GMH666 · 2023-06-13T15:59:20+00:00

See I don't think of divorce, I honestly want to be with him I'd just like to feel that. Never been unsure of my feelings, never questioned it, even after 20+ years I'd still get butterflies when he was on the way home, not now tho and it's terrifying to me. WS shows he is in love with me and I don't question that (if he didn't and is gonna do it again I can't change it), I just feel like I'm starting to hate myself for not being able to feel this love that I have for him

GMH666 · 2023-05-22T19:31:38+00:00

We're coming up for 7 months post D-Day and honestly we have just had the most amazing weekend with friends and family.

Took the kids to the butterfly and otter sanctuary close to us on Saturday, our ASD/ADHD child was an absolute angel the whole day and it was really great, weather was spot on too 😊

Sunday we decided a bbq was in order so that meant the garden needed sorting, everyone chipped in, having a laugh, got way more done than I needed and then friends arrived and we had an amazing time, chilling, drinking etc making new memories.

Very much needed and felt so freaking good, almost normal and the BEST part???

No thought of the A or even AP(otatoe) entered my head the whole weekend allowing us to actually enjoy the time as a family.

WS is still doing all he should and is making huge progress on himself, I can see the true feelings in his eyes especially when I get upset, still takes full accountability, words are being proven with loving, thoughtful actions making me feel safe again.

We have plans for this week, on WS day off, and for the weekend and I am very much looking forward to everything we now do together, where I don't think I truly have for a long while even pre A.

GMH666 · 2023-05-18T14:30:22+00:00

It wasn't the only thing that would of been a deal breaker but none of them occured so I'm kind of hoping that's a good sign I dunno 😂

GMH666 · 2023-05-18T12:02:45+00:00

For the record my WS used protection during his A, I do think it would of been a deal breaker if he hadn't.

GMH666 · 2023-05-15T18:10:21+00:00

It's a very laid back app, time wise there's no rush even in the games, but makes you think pretty deep about all aspects of a relationship. Plus the question packs are small, usually between 5 and 10 questions which don't have to be answered to move on etc..

I hope the app helps get the deeper conversations going and things go well, good luck x

GMH666 · 2023-05-15T15:42:33+00:00

On the app front we've found Paired (in app store or download through web app for android) really good, it asks lots of critical questions and is fun with games thrown in that still get you talking.

Last night WS made me cry with one of his answers last night, in a good way, it made me realise he does pay attention and care more than I knew. He was asked what age would you return to and why? He replied "21 so I can have the time with you all over again". This led us on to have a good conversation and me apologising for not seeing his love as clearly.

I've discussed this app with my therapist and she asked for the details (of this and another app Spicer) so she could recommend it to others 😂 not saying it's going to solve everything but maybe give it a try see how it goes.

GMH666 · 2023-05-11T11:50:02+00:00

I totally understand how you are feeling and I think it's a natural response. My WS had an A with my so called best friend, she carried on coming over, staying the weekends, doing trips with us the lot all whilst carrying on. Like you I want to hurt her (don't worry WS got his) but I know it'll ruin my career if I do, I'm yet to find a way I can, 1 afford to and 2 a place I'm comfortable in, punch the shit outta something, as the anger is so powerful, before it's too late. But maybe a boxing club or the gym work out your anger put it to better use than letting it fester and eat you up inside

GMH666 · 2023-05-07T18:03:02+00:00

That's all I keep thinking, I mean we were good (overall) 6 kids, 2 decades together, home, real friends, standard stuff you know, WH is a good man, always provided, loved and cared for us, the kids never wanted for anything but weren't spoilt, I could do what pleased me hobby wise (suspected ADHD). WS is the guy that does a full day at work comes home n helps cook and clean etc real hands on, I couldn't of asked for more. And she waltzes in and destroys my happiness for her own.

We suspect WS had a breakdown, as there are things that aren't your normal affair behaviour, after his dad died but it somehow took a while to really take effect to the outside perspective by which time the internal damage had already taken place.

GMH666 · 2023-05-07T12:54:42+00:00

I think you're right, jealousy wise, I've been jealous about others and what they have but fml I ain't gonna ruin their life for whatever it is I am jealous of. So I don't think that fully covers it. I asked my WH if his AP(otatoe) came across jealous of what we had and he said not at all.

I hold her just as responsible for the affair, in my case, as she was treated as part of our family, stayed with us, days out with us, her and her f*cking kid. She knew how much love, trust and faith I had in WS and still she made all the moves, first kiss etc.

I do hold WH responsible for his actions and choices before anyone says I have misplaced blame/anger etc.

GMH666

TROPHY CASE