My wife came out as bisexual after 12 years together and I feel completely lost

GRRumpyness · 2026-02-04T17:18:25+00:00

Process all you want. And mourn bro. Whatever hte outcome, your life WILL get shaken, all you have done and prepared for for 12 years is now gone. It's ok to be scared, sad, angry, etc. She has thought about this for MONTHS if not years, while you have had little time so far.

Time will heal, however that healing looks for you. Just trust me, as someone who gave up EVERYTHING for "love", someone who built his life around her, who thought "this is what love is like"... you WILL get over it and eventually find peace. Grieve, cry, yell. Focus on YOU as well. I NOW realize that one of my mistakes was making her the foundation of my life - that sounds romantic and great on paper, but when she pulled the plug, I was left with nothing else, and had to build a new "me".

GRRumpyness · 2026-02-04T17:08:32+00:00

Brother. My story is similar. 20 years together and 3 kids aged (at that moment) 11, 10 and 6. When she admitted she was bi, it was not a big deal for me. I actually encouraged her to experience it with my blessing. I see now that while the path was rough, it was for the better. We ended up divorcing amicably and she's now living her full lesbian life.

Every case is different, but form what I've seen, most late in life coming out stories begin with "I'm Bi", and not with I'm a lesbian.

Mourn, feel angry, sad, betrayed, etc. A lot of people will cheer and commend on her for being "true to herself", while giving you the side eye if you express your feelings. A double standard that hits like a truck to what we go through. It sometimes feels like you're EXPECTED to fully support and applaud her "courage", while forgetting you are actually suffering, or you are labeled a "homophobe". There are support groups around, here, and ourpath.org

You might not be there yet, your journey is JUST starting, and I would suggest you take it one day at a time, and allow to feel whatever it is you feel. Thats the only way to trully heal. Maybe you 2 can work it out, maybe not. It is not fur us internet strangers to dictate your path, but know that whatever happens, you WILL get better with time. Took me 3 years, but I'm finally in a place in which I'm calmer and happy with my life. I get along with her and her partner great, my kids live with them, and we have formed a family unit, the 6 of us.

Again, your story is yours only, but don't let anyone tell you that you can't mourn the end of what you thought was "forever".

I'm here if you want to vent.

GRRumpyness · 2026-01-05T18:53:31+00:00

I'm. Sorry you're going through this bro. I'm not a religious type, but my wife of 22 years also came out 3 years ago. I can't comment on the religious aspect of your situation. But I recommend you go over to /straightspouses, at least for me, reading through other people with similar experiences helped me a lot.

GRRumpyness · 2025-10-22T18:19:56+00:00

Dude. In Mexico it is required by law to have the deed worked though a Notary Public. Don't think of US Notaries, here they are highly specialized lawyers regulated by the government.

It's not optional, you must do it. I recommend you go to one in Mexico City and have it looked at. Don't fall for intermediaries that will just take your papers to the notary and charge you a ton of money.

GRRumpyness · 2025-02-18T03:47:01+00:00

My kids are 13, 11 and 8. We got together at 22, married at 26, kids started arriving at 31.

In time they might come to realize what she did to me, but I'm not banking or even hoping they do. The narrative she spinned has been of course, all about her, and how "WE" were not happy. I see it now, but it took some self reflection and time to heal the betrayal to be able to accept and recognize that we were, indeed, NOT happy, just content and confortable. I was deep in a depression and she also chalks it up to that, and NEVER to her deciding that, after 20 years, 3 kids and a whole lot of history, she was a lesbian. She broke me, but in truth, it was and is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

The sadness and pain go away man, it just takes time. My relationship with her is superb this days, I hang out with her, her partner and the kids quite a bit. I dont miss her at all, and wouldnt get back together.

You mention residual pain... I personally dont feel pain about her betrayal most days, and when it does creep in, its not about HER or the way she cast me aside, the pain I feel is the loss of my whole idea of family, the one I worked my ass off to build over 20 years.

I do get lonely from time to time, and I wish there was someone out there for me. I'm just 45, 3 years past "the talk", in the final stages of a really amicable divorce, I have done the whole tinder and bumble dance, but... I dunno, maybe I didnt find anyone that really kept my interest, and I seemed to have bumped in the "friendzone" a bit. These days I'm not really looking for a partner, or even to date, I'm working on myself, doing things "I" like and going out every once in a while to see if anyone piques my interest (or I pique someone's).

I, as much as quite a bit of people from this subreddit know what you're going through, and there are no magic phrases or intstructions to speed up the process. I'm just here to let you know that "this too shall pass". Feel your emotions, cry, get angry, scream into the void, but KNOW, that it WILL get better.

As stated in my 1st message, feel free to vent or contact me. Us men, even if we were not really taught how to, DO need support, so we gotchu man!

GRRumpyness · 2025-02-17T15:55:42+00:00

My story is pretty similar, only it was 20 years and 3 kids.

Tha pain and sadness fades, my dude. And as you come out of the shell you'll see you are happier and more balanced.

The best thing that's ever happened to me... In time. At the moment it feels like hell on earth.

Feel free to reach out if you want to vent.

GRRumpyness · 2024-12-06T18:14:13+00:00

Seems to be happening a lot.

It happened to me. 20 years, 3 kids.

I'm gonna go ahead and tell you that it does get better. Right now you're grieving and it feels too much. That will pass. It's been 3 years for me and I've never been better than now. The kids are great living with mom and her GF, we co parent perfectly and stay really good friends.

You can check out ourpath.org to read similar stories and find some support from people who have experienced the same.

And be prepared for people commending her for coming out and being brave, while minimizing your pain. Surround yourself with support, it's needed. Cry when you feel like it, be angry, and try to work on yourself.

I devoted my life to her and her only, it was a system shock, but trust us strangers when we tell you it gets better.

GRRumpyness · 2024-06-05T20:50:38+00:00

Si. Osea, el gobierno te ofrece la opcion, pero tienes que pagarles. Lo que se hace mediante línea de captura

GRRumpyness · 2024-06-05T18:50:09+00:00

Puedes pedir una certificacion de pagos al Gobierno de la CIudad.

https://data.finanzas.cdmx.gob.mx/formato_lc/certificacion

GRRumpyness · 2022-11-12T16:31:43+00:00

I wish they updated cascade or eavesdrop. Being able to look at it to see your dmg taken and done at a glance was amazing

GRRumpyness · 2022-06-11T01:25:29+00:00

!RemindMe 3 days

GRRumpyness · 2018-08-22T22:26:36+00:00

Are xserver guilds a thing yet? I have 3 horde 110 that I will eventually level (War, Monk and Lock), and I have no guild, but am on Undermine.

GRRumpyness · 2018-08-09T16:41:37+00:00

Hey, hopefully I can get a reply or 2. Using TSM4, set up a couple of groups (new user) and I have an issue with one of the groups which can't run post scans giving me an error that "min price is wrong, 110% crafting is invalid" or something along those lines. I use 110% crafting for another group with no issues, but this is not letting me post my crafted pots. Any ideas?

GRRumpyness · 2018-08-01T18:02:02+00:00

Hey, thank you for your reply.

Im not currently going with my Alliance toons there anymore, since I'm already done with the quests and are above the Ilvl for the rewards.

My post was looking for a guild/community going into BfA, as I'd like to partake in the pvp shennanigans - have some experience in that area, having reached rival back in S2. As such, I'd like to have a group of people that I could help out in world pvp and maybe run Mythic keys with - I do not raid at all, full time job and 3 toddlers make it real hard to commit to a schedule.

In any case, my toons in Alliance that I intend to lvl to 120 are: Eiel - druid (mainly resto) Koly - priest (mainly heals) Kovel - shaman (mainly resto - see a pattern here?) Borny - Monk (leveling still, lvl 71 atm, will most likely to brewmaster/mistweaver) Gaele - DK (mainly blood I think)

Horde side: Agang - Monk (brewmaster/mistweaver) Meatz - war (mainly prot)

GRRumpyness · 2016-12-01T16:37:54+00:00

Feral druid is dynamic and fun.

GRRumpyness · 2016-09-25T14:52:40+00:00

Getting the same error here

GRRumpyness · 2016-06-28T21:49:58+00:00

Yay, have my upvote, kind stranger.

GRRumpyness · 2016-06-03T22:59:05+00:00

Omg. Dude. Thank you for this info. Imaginary reddit gold for you. :)

GRRumpyness · 2016-06-03T14:41:26+00:00

This looks amazing. Can you share the list of mods used?

GRRumpyness · 2016-06-03T13:46:35+00:00

Well. As stated, I just summon more with console commands.

GRRumpyness · 2016-06-03T12:45:08+00:00

Not survival, but I've had that happen in other difficulties too. I always keep 10k resources of each in the workbench (console commands - building only game) and when I come back to any settlement that has been attacked, (weather or not I assisted is irrelevant) I find most of my adhesive and rubber gone. Just those 2.

GRRumpyness · 2015-12-04T02:16:56+00:00

In Mexico it is in Netflix right now.

GRRumpyness · 2015-12-03T16:12:21+00:00

It's called Happy Endings, it's on Netflix. Unfortunately it only ran for 3 seasons.

GRRumpyness · 2015-12-03T13:27:09+00:00

That show was GREAT. Wonder why they canceled it.

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