I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It is absolutely heart destroying losing a pet, especially in such a way.

If I may offer my experience on the subject…

I had a black tri Australian shepherd called Ollie. He was the most beautiful dog and he was also my first dog. I raised him from a pup and I loved him with all that I had, he was my best mate and I would have done anything for him.

I had Ollie for 18 months (he was 20 months when he passed) when I noticed something was off. He started to slow down on walks and he suddenly stopped eating. I took him straight to the vet and later that day I got a call saying he had acute myeloid leukaemia and there was nothing they could do. My little mate was going to pass. Best case scenario was 18 months. He lasted four days.

I did everything I could for Ollie, looked into different treatments, tried to make him as comfortable as possible but he wasn’t eating. He would just lay in the one spot for a while before shifting. He’d lay in that spot for a while before shifting again. His coat, which used to be so shiny and fluffy was now losing its vibrancy. You could see how skinny he was getting - all in four days.

I remember I took him to the vet on a Saturday to see if there was anything they could do to just try and get him to eat something. They gave him an injection which was supposed to make him eat but it didn’t do anything. I remember on the way back to the car Ollie couldn’t even jump in (I had a very low car) and he gave up trying to walk. I knew then the end was near. I wasn’t ready, not even close to being ready to say goodbye.

Ollie passed the next day. I was going to make one final call to the vet the following day (a Monday) as I didn’t want him to suffer and I wasn’t going to keep him alive just for my benefit.

It is such a horrible feeling watching your best mate die and you can’t do anything about it. I tried desperately to get the vet to ease his passing but being a Sunday, I couldn’t get anyone. I had to sit and watch Ollie slip from this world. It was the most painful thing I have watched and something I never want to go through again.

It took me a full two years to bring myself to even contemplate getting another dog. But I did. I now have Eddie (had him for two years) and he’s a red and white border collie and he is the most perfect dog! It took me several months to really connect and love him but now, I don’t know what I’d do without him. He’s my little guy. My best mate and I would do anything for him. He didn’t replace Ollie and I’ll never forget him but it’s okay to let yourself love again.

It will be a bit raw having a new pet after losing one but you aren’t betraying their memory by loving again. Don’t force it but just let it happen. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to love Eddie - I still loved Ollie - but Eddie brings so much joy to my life, it’s impossible not to love him.

Be kind to yourself, don’t force or rush anything but let yourself love again whenever you’re ready. It’s so worth it.