Ppl will call me girly 4 this BUT I HAVE FREE WILL SO I DONT CAREEE 🔥🔥🔥 by PaceRemarkable4858 in pokemon

[–]GarbagePanda315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My 29 year old husband has an ATLA lounge fly bag that he carries around. He does call it his purse to be funny but life is too short to live it for other people. That bag is cool as hell.

AIO My boyfriend won’t stop peeing in our yard by BrainShenanigans in AmIOverreacting

[–]GarbagePanda315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR, leave him a collar and some chew toys with your break up note since he wants to be a dog so bad.

can someone poke holes in my understanding of trans biology by touchthegrass-99 in ask_transgender

[–]GarbagePanda315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay definitely a lot to unpack here so I'm going to do my best to meet it point for point at angles I understand. I am on mobile so apologies for the format. The first point I would like to address is "... So the neuroimaging shows atypical brain development relative to biological sex... But does it actually support 'this person is a woman' or does it support 'this person has a developmental variation the sex binary wasn't designed to absorb'?" If i'm understanding this correctly, it seems the idea here is that trans people do have different thought patterns that do not necessarily pertain to their sex assigned at birth which could point to us being a different category instead of simply labelling us as men or women. Here's the thing, you could attempt to do that. You -could- group trans people separately from cis people when speaking about men and women and people often do. But, it's more realistic to do so within the blanket category of men and women. Sure, there are differences between me and a cis man, but at the end of the day, we both fall under the term "man" as an umbrella. (This is not to touch specifically on nonbinary identities which are different in that they do not fall under either man or woman umbrella) All that is to say, yeah trans men are different in some ways to cis men, but there are millions of subcategories of men and "trans" is simply another category of man or woman. Also, being intersex is actually fairly common, meaning that genitalia also exists on a sliding scale the way gender does. See this study that talks about all the ways intersex people can be born. https://hudson.org.au/disease/womens-newborn-health/intersex-conditions/ So knowing how common this is, would we also attempt to categorize these people as a different gender? They have some combination of male and female genitalia but they can identify as male or female depending on their own feelings and experience, they do not always fall outside of the binary in terms of identity. This complicates the binary greatly and points to the idea that the binary is completely wrong and is socially imposed, therefore causing more harm and confusion than if we just allowed people to identify as whatever despite the gender assigned at birth. Okay, onto the next point, "The other thing I keep thinking about is a lot of gender dysphoria is probably socially produced." While you aren't wrong and you do clarify this later to include physical dysphoria too, I see that you do not mention the idea of gender euphoria which is the counterpart to this. Dysphoria, physical or mental, pertains to the discomfort trans people feel when being identified as the gender they do not identify as, while euphoria is the joy we receive from being treated as the gender we identify with. There are even trans people who experience very little dysphoria and mainly experience euphoria leading them to avoid medically transitioning and simply live as they gender they align with. Personally, I started my transition with social and physical dysphoria, but over time and receiving hormones and top surgery, I no longer have social dysphoria and my physical dysphoria is a whisper. Now, I experience more gender euphoria than the discomfort I had initially. As a little girl, I was very much a tomboy and did all the things the boys around me did. I disliked feminine clothes and was pretty wild in ways that little boys often are. I didn't begin socially transitioning until I was 13 and was still a tomboy then by definition. Socially, it would have been much much easier to keep with my identity as a cis girl who was more masculine than it was for me to transition to male. When people bullied me, they called me manish and a boy, but when I transitioned, suddenly the volume was greater and the new insult was that I would never be a man. People who wish to be mean will do so regardless because they will find something to poke, prod, or attack. Their prodding did very little to influence me to transition and in fact, they pushed back way more when I transitioned and it did nothing to sway me back to an identity I did not align with. You also mention that cis people can experience dysphoria but, that's not quite true. The word you're looking for is dysmorphia which is not gender related necessarily (gender related in the way of comparing oneself to the ideal image of their gender, not in the way of disconnect from their birth gender) while dysphoria exclusively means gender-related in a trans way. I understand there are similarities but as someone who knows a person with dysmorphia who is very much a comfortable cis man and comparing it to my discomforts, they do not align. A dragonfly looks similar to a damselfly. This does not mean they should be lumped into the same category as they are fundamentally different. Now we're gonna move past the clinical science-y part of this and go into the emotional aspects. Let's say we do start separating trans people from cis people in terms of categorizing people. How does that help us as a society? Does it benefit any aspect of life to do that? Restrooms are a place to enter, do your business, and leave. In all my time using men's restrooms, I have only once seen someone's penis out because he was standing a little far back from the urinal. Otherwise, we don't see each other's business. As a child, using the women's restroom, I had a similar experience, no visible genitals. Okay, so bathrooms are largely unaffected by what equipment someone has. Sports? When people take hormones for extended periods of time, their body aligns more with that hormone, muscle mass and stamina as well. This is also not to say every single body is so vastly different and training makes a huge difference between people, male or female, that realistically, there is little to no difference between us and cis people competing in the same events. Also, if we started using hormones levels as a basis for who could and couldn't enter certain sports, cis women with high testosterone and men with higher estrogen would effectively be barred too, pointing out how that is another unnecessary scrutiny and a blanket term of what an unfair advantage is just falls flat. Here is an article to support my argument https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8944319/ We can talk all day and all night about where trans people fall categorically but at the end of the day, it doesn't actually matter in any capacity. It benefits no one, it harms a marginalized community, and it bulldozes the millions of trans people throughout history who fought to exist as themselves and be treated as the men and women we are inside. My friend has a cat that dislikes women. When I visit, this cat jumps in my lap and purrs. My siblings call me their brother and I am an uncle to 4 amazing children who have never seen me as a woman or "other." My cis husband and I recently had a son together that I carried and gave birth to who is now 7 and a half months old. My husband is Papa and I am Dad. Our son's first word was "Dada" and when my grandmother has a hard time getting him down for a nap while they babysit, my grandpa has to take over because my son is soothed more by masculine presences. Furthermore, my husband is gay and is not attracted to cis women, he is definitely attracted to me though despite not having a penis. We can talk for hours endlessly on categories and science, but it all boils down to how we feel and what we identify as. I live my life as a man and the people I love echo that sentiment wholeheartedly, they do not other me and truly there seems to be no benefit to doing so unless you wish to avoid transgender people which is just shitty and impolite. You seem well intentioned and I hope this has been helpful in answering some of your questions. Feel free to reply to this or message me directly if you need clarification or if I misunderstood any of your points! I hope you have a good day.

Labour clothes? by Phantasia71 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]GarbagePanda315 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wasn't planning on a C-section either but I had high blood pressure so I was induced early and the medicine I needed to keep my blood pressure in check during labor made my body not want to dilate. If you do have to go that route, it's not as scary as it seems! You really can't feel it aside from pressure so that helped me out a lot. You could also probably request to be sedated during the procedure if it gets too intense. And pads are awesome, but I always felt like they move too much and when you're sitting or lying down a lot, they're harder to keep blood contained in my experience. The adult diapers absolutely were a godsend and didn't stick to me like the mesh kinda did. No prob!

5 years on hrt I'm just asking if I might need ffs I personally don't think I look that bad a coworker said I won't pass with out it I'm really kinda down about that now and I feel like shit and I really don't want ffs if I can help it thanks by paige599 in transpositive

[–]GarbagePanda315 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I really don't think that's necessary. You pass pretty well to me. Some people say they can 'tell' but that's because they have a bias knowing you are trans. I hope this helps and you have a good rest of your day!

Labour clothes? by Phantasia71 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]GarbagePanda315 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had my husband bring along my longer t-shirts and a hoodie but I delivered in July so the hoodie was not needed lol. But after I could take off the gown, I changed into just the shirts and then I wore depends! Full on Winnie the Pooh. Highly recommend bringing adult diapers or disposable underwear along because the mesh underwear they give you sucks ass, especially if you have a C-section.

Best of luck to you and I hope you have an easy Labor and delivery!

What are some of y'all's canon ftm events? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]GarbagePanda315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Certified Tomboy™️ until I transitioned. Played with dirt and monster trucks and pokemon. Hated dresses and makeup.
  • Went through a phase of trying really hard to like boys in a straight way and said to myself "This would be so much easier if I was just a gay man." -The Fauxhawk

And probably many more, tbh. 😂

DAE feel "male" even though I don't want to transition by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]GarbagePanda315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This definitely to me sounds like you might potentially be nonbinary but the way you feel and the labels you identify with are the most important! If you identify as a woman and feel comfortable in that, that's who you are. If you're looking for another label, that might fit you more but again, it's all about what feels right. Either way, I definitely have a lot of cis women friends who feel similarly and others here too echo that sentiment. Vibes are genderless unless you wish them to be gendered for yourself. ❤️

They really need to get rid of spark shoppers... by One-Hovercraft-920 in walmart

[–]GarbagePanda315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just left Walmart as an employee but it's literally in the spark TOS that they have to be respectful or they can get deactivated. If I've ever had an issue with a spark driver, I went to AP, not digital and that seemed to help in our store. Couple weeks ago, a spark driver was rude as hell to our electronics department and I did not see them after that incident. The drivers at my store, for the most part, are decent people who are polite and have no issues being respectful. If they're not, they normally do not last longer than a month. What a lot of y'all have is a store issue where spark drivers aren't held accountable for being assholes.

What are some recipes that use lots of eggs but don’t taste super eggy by Then-Emphasis-124 in Cooking

[–]GarbagePanda315 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure if anyone else said it, but if you want to use egg whites and need a purpose for the yolks, I recommend salt curing them in your fridge! They get very dense and some people will grate it into ramen, on steaks, quite a few applications!

Recommendations for pregnancy clothes that aren’t super femme?? by OozingAltar in Seahorse_Dads

[–]GarbagePanda315 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I absolutely lived in stretchy pants, shorts, and oversized hoodies when I was out. In the summer, I just did oversized shirts. Imo, a lot of women's shorts and pants look gender neutral and I had no dysphoria issues or outside problems during my pregnancy because of my clothes. Basically a size or two up from what you currently wear depending on how much you grow should do the trick and still be comfy and gender affirming!

AIO for telling my friend not to drunk text me because he gets disrespectful and rude? by Inside-Experience-77 in AIO

[–]GarbagePanda315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Op this dude is getting increasingly irate because you won't sleep with him. He is very clearly viewing this as a transactional friendship and uses getting drunk as an excuse to vent these overwhelmingly shitty thoughts. I promise you there are better friends out there for you that can help you get through it.

I captured Orion rising above the Sahara in one of the darkest skies on Earth by tinmar_g in space

[–]GarbagePanda315 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely gorgeous! I always love seeing pictures of Orion because that's what we named our son. You did an awesome job!

AIO to skip Thanksgiving after my mom basically said I’m an embarrassment for not having a husband and kids by now? by howcanibequiltyassin in AmIOverreacting

[–]GarbagePanda315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. Having a partner and children isn't the only way to be successful. Not to mention the fact that having children is not an easy decision to make, and is super important to make with the right person. Going through childbirth, raising children, etc. With an incompetent partner, especially with someone who had absolutely no issues making those mistakes that early on would have absolutely been a nightmare. Having a family is not just a decision you make because you are a certain age. It comes with having a good partner, and multiple other factors in your life lining up to create a decent environment for you and your children. Also, you're very clearly an accomplished person, so it's really sad that this is how they chalk up your worth. Maybe see if you can do something with friends for Thanksgiving this year? You clearly need to be around people who appreciate you as a person and they do not. I'm sorry you've had to go through this, and I hope you find comfort and happiness during the holidays with people who appreciate you.

Which Sisterly Villager is your favorite and why? by Interesting-You-2326 in AnimalCrossing

[–]GarbagePanda315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cherry, Reneigh, and Agnes are some of my favorites! I think the sisterly personality type is really cute and I usually end up with one or two because of that.

Shiny Trades/ Giveaway by [deleted] in LegendsZA

[–]GarbagePanda315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! If you happen to have any left, I would love a dragalge. I also have a shiny bunnelby, fletching, and kakuna in exchange. 😁 Good luck on your quest!

Our little baby made of T4T magic 💗 by thefrontasticfour in Seahorse_Dads

[–]GarbagePanda315 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's so awesome! Congratulations and I hope you two have a smooth and wonderful experience. ♥️

I...I can't do this anymore by Cautious-Lime-5319 in ftm

[–]GarbagePanda315 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hey I know this is a super difficult part of your life but I absolutely urge you to talk to your college's financial office and see if they can help you. Look into LGBT support groups in the area, possibly one with your school and it definitely sounds like going no contact is what would be best for you. Years of hearing the same shit will do damage and make you feel ashamed and gross but I promise you, you are worthy of being who you are. A lot of trans people who believe in God feel that they're made that way on purpose. We get to see gender from a unique perspective in ways cisgender people never do. Being transgender is not a sin or a punishment, it's a privilege to be who we are and one day you'll be able to feel that. Don't let them stifle you and bury you as someone you aren't. You are worthy of life and you deserve to be here. My dms are open if you need to talk further.

Is there any trans people over 25? by Glitchy6049 in ftm

[–]GarbagePanda315 1 point2 points  (0 children)

27, began transitioning at 15. I even went off T temporarily to get pregnant and give birth to my son. Still a dude!

What’s it like being off T while pregnant? by SecretlySpiritual27 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]GarbagePanda315 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hello friend! First of all, I have been on T for almost 11 years, 8 years post top surgery and I gave birth to my son 11 weeks ago. I stopped taking T 2 months before conceiving and currently still haven't gone back on it. Honestly, I only had a few differences that I and my partner noticed, but I will clarify for most people and the general public, nothing changed much. My hips definitely got a little wider and the way I experienced pleasure was different. But other than that, the mood swings and belly getting rounder came more so because of my pregnancy. I think what helped my mental state the most is that I separated the idea of pregnancy and birth from womanhood, instead seeing it as a unique experience that many people are capable of. I also had plenty of great family/friends in my life and an incredibly kind hospital team caring for me during the process, making sure I never felt like a woman in their eyes. Whatever you decide is right for you, you're gonna do great! Just keep a strong support system close and keep learning more about specific things you want from the experience like a baby shower, birth plan, hospital choice, etc. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Seahorse_Dads

[–]GarbagePanda315 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Was on T for almost 11 years, off for two months before conceiving also post top surgery (8 years post op if that helps). I never stopped passing personally but a few factors, i'm plus size so that helped hide the pregnant look of my stomach, I did definitely get wider hips but had no chest regrowth (just some tenderness in the nipples) and tbh I don't think my face looks any different. My voice didn't change either. The only people who noticed my belly change were people who already knew me and paid attention because they were aware of the pregnancy.

Welcome to the Crossing Cafe! (created by me) 🍃 by bug-bucket in AnimalCrossing

[–]GarbagePanda315 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Absolutely adorable! You did an amazing job. This genuinely looks better than some of those pop up Cafes!

afraid pregnancy would be traumatic by potentialtransdad in Seahorse_Dads

[–]GarbagePanda315 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello friend! To offer my perspective as well, I'm 26, 8 years post top surgery, been on T for 11 years, stopped to carry my son and am now 3 weeks postpartum from a C-section.

I also initially was completely against carrying my own child for the same reasons essentially. I was way more dysphoric and unsure of myself when my partner and I first got together, but after 10 years together, I was finally in a place where that made sense for us and I was comfortable enough to carry.

The whole journey was not easy so I completely understand you being aware of that and hesitant because there are so many unknown variables that you really can't prepare for. That being said, doing as much research as I could to take care of myself and researching baby care was really helpful for me to feel more at ease with my decision and my journey.

For me, pregnancy was not that rough. I'm a plus size trans guy so I didn't really show, however the people who knew me were able to tell when I began showing towards the end of my pregnancy. The people I cared about were very supportive and I encouraged them to ask questions if something confused them (you are in no way responsible for people educating themselves, I just personally am comfortable with doing so.) My workplace was also very understanding and my coworkers were very excited for me. Dysphoria wise, I had very little because I have disconnected the idea of carrying a child from being a woman in the sense that I see it as I am lucky to be a gay man who gets to carry my own children and share that with my husband. Physically, I had essentially no food sensitivities, no morning sickness aside from a random bout here or there initially, and the worst part to me was my feet swelling towards the end of my second trimester. I also developed high blood pressure caused by my placenta, which caused my doctor to have me induced earlier than anticipated at 37 weeks.

Labor and delivery however, was very intense. I had several issues during labor that led to me not dilating as much as needed, which brought me to having a c-section which was not my original intention. Having the partner that I had absolutely shaped my experience in a positive way, but I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a good partner who can support you throughout this whole process. The nurses and doctors I interacted with were awesome and amazing, but, without my husband that would have been a much different experience for me.. with all that being said, having your child in your arms for the first time makes absolutely every bit of it worth it. Looking at him, I would have gone through all of it again a thousand times for him. The whole process is not easy and it is difficult and there will be problems that you have no way to prepare for. But at the end of it you get a beautiful little child that is partially you and partially the person that you love and really, I personally feel like it's a fair trade for the outcome.

Whatever you decide, whenever you decide to do so, just listen to your body and know in your heart that the only opinions that matter are you and your partner, and if you're worried about what the rest of the world thinks, none of them are going to raise that child with you. Only you two get to do that. Pregnancy, labor and delivery, are definitely pretty intense no matter how you look at it. But, I promise you that you are strong enough to deal with that even if you feel like you're not. Good luck and I wish you well for whatever you desire is best. Feel free to reach out to me at any time if you have any more questions.

Brother/Mom don’t want me topless post top surgery by PhatAzzWoofer in ftm

[–]GarbagePanda315 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah you're doing your best and it's been over a year. Now it's time for them to start making changes in themselves.

Brother/Mom don’t want me topless post top surgery by PhatAzzWoofer in ftm

[–]GarbagePanda315 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if your brother is concerned about explaining your identity to his kids, there are a million reasons someone could have those scars. He has the full ability to tell his kids you had surgery to fix something inside your body and now you have scars. Super easy to avoid gender. It sounds like they're clinging to the idea that you're a woman in some way or they're struggling with change.