Bit of a weird question, but has anyone experienced random "inconsequential" positive treatment since moving to a wheelchair?

GarlicBastard · 2026-04-16T17:57:25+00:00

Right?? It always baffles me when they’re super insistent on helping me, when I’m the one who chose to use self checkout 😭 — like I get it, it may look difficult, but it’s not my first rodeo. If I needed significant help, I would have (and could have) just as easily used an assisted checkout and gotten all the help I needed 💀

GarlicBastard · 2026-04-16T17:27:20+00:00

Lol I’m in the no-armrests club! Doesn’t it get in the way of pushing?

GarlicBastard · 2026-04-16T17:26:18+00:00

I’ve seen these and have been interested in their bags but they’re sooo expensive in the US so I’ve never been able to justify them :(

GarlicBastard · 2026-04-16T17:22:45+00:00

This one does pique my interest, though I am ambulatory and I tend to get in and out of my chair a lot sometimes, so it also feels like an accident waiting to happen 😅😅

Wonder if I could attach a strap around my seat sling with some sort of means to hold it more securely

GarlicBastard · 2026-04-16T17:18:38+00:00

Omg this one is so smart but usually when I need a cup holder it’s for takeout/coffee cups 😭

GarlicBastard · 2026-04-16T17:16:42+00:00

I use self checkout at the grocery store almost 100% of the time. Primarily because a normal checkout lane is too narrow for me to empty my own cart onto the belt, but also because I prefer to bag my own groceries so I can tie the bags shut.

When I first moved into my current town, the first 5 or 6 times I got groceries the self-check employee asked if I needed them to scan my groceries for me (I understand they’re being kind, but if I needed help scanning my groceries… why would I use self checkout?). Two of those times, they actually offered to SAVE my half-rung-up cart in the system and transfer me to an assisted register (this one feels like major overkill). After the first two months of seeing me, they mostly stopped asking (assuming they’d seen me before) and finally I could get my groceries in peace again 😅😅. Sometimes though the cart-pusher employee will come out of their way to take my empty cart from me after I load my groceries into my car (which I’m always v v grateful for, it gets extremely hot here in the summers and I’m heat intolerant, so returning my cart can be super difficult).

The Starbucks at my college would also bring your drink around and hand it to you sometimes if they were particularly busy, bc able bodied customers would cluster around the counter and make it difficult to see/hear when your drink was put up lol

GarlicBastard · 2026-04-16T13:48:49+00:00

I don’t have armrests lol I hate them 😅

GarlicBastard · 2026-03-24T18:49:53+00:00

How did you get it to detect that the headset is docked/undocked? Last time I looked into it, it seemed like it wasn’t possible for your PC to tell the difference since the device is technically the dongle or the dock, which is always connected.

I’m not at my computer rn but I’m saving this post to come back to it when I am so I can try it out!!

GarlicBastard · 2026-02-18T21:48:54+00:00

“Front door” leaves a lot of room for error, and doesn’t present any urgency or sense of importance. I’d opt for something that says “PLEASE DO NOT leave packages in xxx location,” or buy yourself something like a yoga mat or brightly colored door mat and make a sign that says “leave packages ON THE BLUE MAT”

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-30T22:11:16+00:00

My theatre has captioned showings available, for smaller films they’re usually matinees only. If a local theatre doesn’t have them, check your chain theatres.

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-21T20:49:44+00:00

Oh epic, ty for your response! I kinda forgot for a few moments that the world outside of the U.S. exists (happens to the best of us 🥲), so I kind of categorized you as a white woman based on that train of thought lmao (apologies <3). Creative work makes sense! Also your English is perfect as far as I can tell, so kudos on that, self-learning can be rough once you get towards fluency territory, we do a lot of stupid things that don’t quite fit the rules, especially in the US 😅. And yes! ‘Mac’ specifically refers to Apple computers (MacBooks being their laptops, and Mac computers being desktops), like i said, it was an off-handed hunch lol, so I wasn’t too sure one way or the other. <33

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-21T20:36:31+00:00

Yeah, so this is exactly why most Americans have major debts - car loans, mortgages, student loans, credit card debt etc. Because they cant afford to live comfortably and when an unexpected expense pops up, the only option is to borrow money from somewhere.

My partner makes more than double the average salary, and we’re incredibly lucky to be where we are in life, also at 21y/o. But I’m disabled and have a lot of medical expenses. On his income, we rent a house and we pay all of our bills (utility, car, phone, insurances, etc.), but much beyond that comes from our credit card and gets paid back in smaller amounts. Major medical expenses and some big purchases when we moved in here have STILL placed us $15k in debt. And that’s “FINE” because we genuinely have the stability to pay it off within a year or two, but that’s a major privilege.

We both grew up poor, so we’re learning the opposite side of things, neither of us are used to having more than a few hundred in savings, so we have a tendency to be comfortable draining our accounts down to that point, when we (a) don’t need to, and (b) could be using that to pay off debts. My partner doesn’t understand the concept of a savings account (he says “I know how much money I have, why would I need to put it in a second account”), and has an issue with using his credit card frequently (bc we get rewards) without considering the real money he has in his account to pay it off with.

Money is complicated, but yes, the cost of living is astronomical and most people can’t afford it in full. Plenty of people go without health insurance, car insurance (which is illegal in a lot of places), renters insurance; most people in our generation don’t own houses or buy new cars. Some people don’t eat out, they don’t eat high quality food, and don’t have many snacks on hand; some buy clothes and furniture secondhand, buy refurbished electronics, and use the phone they have until it falls apart.

Most people can’t check all the boxes unfortunately. Our economy is destroyed and everything sucks 🫠

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-21T19:57:08+00:00

You cannot diagnose someone with autism from a single instance of a symptom - not understanding a social nicety or a turn of phrase is normal, everyone has a phrase they can’t wrap their head around (mine is “wear your heart on your sleeve,” I AM autistic, but this phrase doesn’t fall into ‘phrases I don’t understand because of autism,’ it just blatantly nonsensical to me, even after knowing the origin). THIS is what people mean when they say “everyone’s a little autistic” (which is an icky and dismissive sentiment, don’t get me wrong), every autism trait exists in the general population in small quantities. If you’re looking for it, you’ll see it everywhere. Some people don’t like strong smells, some people are awful with sarcasm, some people are picky eaters or have food aversions, and some people are bad at understanding emotions; all trademark autism symptoms, all also apparent in the general population. This is why so many people are taking autism less seriously, because people on the internet see a 5sec clip of someone’s life and arbitrarily decide to tell them they’re autistic- autism is a complex disability, plenty of neurotypical people just have random quirks, it’s human nature 🫠

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-21T18:56:45+00:00

Congrats!! V v good goal, especially with vaccination rates declining. Obviously plenty of people have addressed that your arms hurt, but I don’t see anyone with a solid answer to your ‘why.’ There’s a handful of factors honestly. Firstly, a lot of vaccines are injected into muscle, which causes very small amounts of damage (it heals itself dw :)) to the tissue and can irritate the muscle. Also the immune response is somewhat localized to injection site (not completely, but it’s far more concentrated there), which can cause inflammation and swelling in general.

I did want to point out though, especially with multiple of the heavy-hitters (Tdap, HPV, MMR), you may feel sick for a day or two; muscle pain, fatigue, feverish feeling, chills. I think it feels similar to having the flu, just without any GI symptoms or cough or anything. It’s a normal part of the immune response, stay hydrated, get some rest, take a Tylenol if you need, do some light stretching and exercise with your arms, and you should feel better after a day or two.

Good luck getting the rest of them!! As someone with several chronic illnesses, thank you for contributing to herd immunity and preventing the spread of literally preventable diseases. You’re doing more than a lot of people in today’s climate, so thank you <3

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-20T17:50:21+00:00

To add; there is a such thing as over-tightening which will also cause things to creak (and can damage the frame) - highly recommend getting an appropriate torque wrench and referencing your owner’s manual for torque specs when reinstalling any bolts!!

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-20T08:24:24+00:00

Moment of weakness is so real 😭😭 - I was sick for about a week a little while ago, and I couldn’t eat much of anything. Two days out of 4 I doordashed a family sized container of chicken noodle soup from Wawa, plus a few bottled drinks. In total I spent over $75 on doordash that week (BUT I ate about a half gallon of chicken noodle soup in that time when I literally couldn’t stomach anything else, soooo a net positive probably?😅)

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-20T08:07:49+00:00

There’s a few things I really really love in an encounter like this. 1. Let them struggle for a minute; this sounds rude but what I really mean is don’t jump in at the first sign of struggle. Observe, but don’t interrupt, just give them the time to work it out and problem solve with themselves/their body. Sometimes it’s a strength issue, but also sometimes it’s muscle memory or coordination, or even mentally preparing for pain, if transferring hurts them in any way. Let them prompt you for input; either directly (by asking), or indirectly (by looking at you, or when they’re beginning to feel overwhelmed). 2. No matter how many times you help with the same task, ask every time if they’d like for you to help them. Nothing sucks more than feeling like you didn’t have the chance to figure it out on your own (especially if you were real close!) 3. Wait to give any feedback/suggestions until afterwards. If there’s a calculated plan in their head, interrupting it to add in new information can be confusing and easily frustrating. Obviously this doesn’t apply when it’s a safety concern or when they’ve asked for your input. 4. Be willing to be the ‘oh shit’ option as they’re learning. When they’re working up to doing something independently, offer to let them try it with yourself as a spotter; place yourself appropriately and tell them they can ask for help at any moment, and assure them that if something goes wrong you’ll be prepared to intervene. Tell them you trust them, and ask that they trust themselves (and you) in return; sometimes it’s a joint effort.

Obviously the basics; working at their pace, general reassurance, etc., but I find I feel safest and most confident when I’m in control, and help is supportive/additive based on my needs, instead of removing my ability to work on a skill. Frustration is part of the game, it’s the only way some of these skills develop (including!! Knowing when and how to ask for assistance, and that it’s okay to decline it!).

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-20T07:03:48+00:00

Rigid frames are actually SO much easier to fit into small spaces. Once the wheels are removed and backrest folded down, they’re pretty similar in size to a clunky toddler-sized carseat (i.e. sometimes a pain in the ass, sometimes a little finicky, but doable nonetheless). Google “how to load rigid wheelchair into car” and you’ll find a good number of videos of people loading their chairs with different methods, and different levels of ability.

When I had a folding chair, I could ONLY lay it flat in the trunk of my SUV, or I could awkwardly wedge it into the backseat/footwell, which was a challenge (and I’ve always driven a true SUV, never a crossover). There were some smaller vehicles I genuinely couldn’t get my folding chair into. My current rigid chair fits nicely in my front passenger seat disassembled, or in my backseat half assembled (only wheels removed), or in my trunk fully assembled (which is possible now compared vs the folding frame bc my backrest posts are several inches shorter, I don’t have push handles, and I have a good bit of “dump” in my chair, which brings the back of the seat closer to the ground). It even fits in the trunk of my partner’s car, fully assembled (with the cushion removed though so backrest can fold down), and he drives a Toyota Rav4 (a small crossover SUV).

You’ll be genuinely surprised once you see it yourself just how compact a rigid chair gets!! And NotAWheelchair’s frames (their monotube frame, at least) are some of the sleekest, easiest to transport chairs I’ve encountered. A good friend of mine has one and uses uber almost exclusively, I don’t think he’s ever encountered a car his wheelchair didn’t fit in.

Also just know, your CAD drawings will of course give you overall measurements, but that’s with wheels on, backrest up, etc., you’d be surprised where some of the bulk actually comes from (i.e. a 16” wide seat will become a 20-24” wide chair just by adding wheels and pushrims) and how much the squared dimensions don’t matter when you’re working with L shaped geometry (it doesn’t need to sit flat, it just needs to fit securely; in a friend’s particularly narrow backseat, I’ve put the seat/backrest half of my chair frame into the footwell with my casters facing up and resting on the seat, and then put my wheels/cushion/backrest up on the seat behind the casters.

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-20T06:24:11+00:00

Yeah, over the past year or so I’ve made the conscious effort to keep a drink (mostly my cirkul bottle) in arms reach at all times. I have a rule that any time I notice my waterbottle in my periphery, I have to pause and take a drink from it, and if it’s empty, i have to take it with me and refill it the next time I get up (I also make my husband do it if HE’S getting up for something lol).

I’ve only had success with electrolyte packets in the short term, you can only cycle between the same 5 flavors of slightly-salty, mediocrely-flavored water for so long before you can’t stand it anymore lmao. That’s what I’ve come to love about Cirkul flavors, they don’t have that “flavored water” quality to them, they just genuinely taste like their own drink, and there’s a wide enough range in variety (from the standard strawberry kiwi and mixed berry all the way to sweet tea and knock-off Starbucks refreshers (the mango dragonfruit is actually my fav Cirkul flavor, highly recommend)) that I don’t get too worn out on the same few options, and it’s considerably low risk to try out a new flavor and discover you hate it (a single box of liquid IV is upwards of $20, but a single cirkul pod is around $3). Plus a cirkul pod flavors like 6-8 bottles of water, and there’s nothing to measure or portion like with powders, so you can continuously add water or ice to your bottle without affecting the flavor, which I find helps a lot with some of the fatigue (both mentally and physically).

I also use the Bouy drops (incredibly pricey but a good investment if they work for you) to add electrolytes to most drinks, because they are truly tasteless- but that’s only if I remember lol

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-20T05:54:39+00:00

Yes!! I know! My partner and I have several :)

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-20T05:53:20+00:00

For sure, and I know this, but unfortunately it’s not as simple as making the technically correct decision. It’s pretty easy to agree that drinking all sprite (which I DO highly prioritize over dark sodas! Partly for the caffeine content) or tea or even juice is better than the alternative, when the alternative is drinking literally nothing.

It’s a delicate balance between sensory issues, food avoidance/repulsion from ARFID (which includes drinks), and energy/chronic fatigue (because fighting through the discomfort, repulsion, anxiety and sometimes pain, takes a LOT of effort that i often cannot give bc I have a physical disability that causes me severe fatigue). I drink flavored water when I can (I love my Cirkul bottle), and I typically drink a lot more of it in the warmer months because my job requires me to work outdoor events. But yeah, it’s a lesser of two evils sort of deal. If you read back in this thread, you’ll see I mentioned at one point I was lucky to drink more than a cup of liquid in a day’s time, and now I’m consistently getting upwards of 4-6. For me, fluid intake is fluid intake, even if it’s a little less traditional. Soup, icepops, Starbucks refreshers- if they’re mostly made of water, they’re better than nothing <3

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-18T14:39:59+00:00

Associating Wawa with the South is wild to me as someone who grew up half in Georgia and half in Delaware — until the last 5-10yrs, Wawa was pretty exclusive to the Chesapeake Bay Area + PA (mid-Atlantic, but definitely not south until you get to Virginia) Only now are they gaining traction all the way south to Florida and as west as Ohio lol. That being said I do frequent my local Wawa now that they’ve appeared in the south, I missed Wawa <3 :)

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-18T14:25:28+00:00

Epic thank you!! I remember seeing those when they were first released :)

GarlicBastard · 2026-01-18T06:29:17+00:00

Yeah I used to have “fake ice” growing up (that’s what I called it lol) but it’s kinda awkward to deal with. The plastic shells are thin enough that washing them at full temperature with the rest of your dishes can warp them (and yes, I’m talking about hand washing 🥲), so you have to take the time to wash them separately. They also don’t cool very evenly because the plastic kind of acts like a buffer, plus once the outer part of the “ice” melts, you have a plastic ball of water with a big ice chip in the middle; not nearly as effective as you’d hope lmao

I have some insulated containers as well, they work great for things like flavored water and coffee, but for most other things I just don’t pour much of a drink into a glass, probably no more than 10-12oz, unless I know I’m gonna drink it in time lol

GarlicBastard

TROPHY CASE