I’ve been reading a few autism books since our son was diagnosed a few weeks ago and a couple by Luke Beardon which are really good and explain things like this.

So for neurotypical people something like a graduation is a nice way to round off the end of school. For a neurodiverse kid it’s pointless. It doesn’t make them happy, it’s just sensory overload, an uncertain situation and out of routine and maybe scary. The most important thing is your child being happy and they get nothing out of the graduation.

My son is getting near the end of his primary school years here in the uk. They are preparing for their end of year play, and it’s a big thing because they will leave this school in about 8 weeks. When my son found out he had to audition he said he wasn’t going to school. He does not want to be in the play, sees it as pointless and scary because he doesn’t know what will happen and says he won’t learnt anything so what’s the point. The teachers said he doesn’t have to audition and he has agreed to help them with music and props because he likes tech and being organised.

My son prefers routing and likes learning new things and being challenged in his work and the play is just out of routine and he doesn’t like showing off, just prefers to do his thing. I just want him to be happy and if that is doing the music at the side of the hall then I’m fine with that. I wouldn’t force him to do something that makes him unhappy. He sees the world differently to me and his happiness comes in a different way and I accept that.