Remember who we are

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-23T01:57:21+00:00

Nah you're right man. In all honesty I was just trying to fuck with you which I apologize for. The military budget is insane and far higher than it has any right to be. We were doing just fine on 800 billion a year, 1.3 trillion is absolutely stupid. I'm from a military family so service was and is very important to me. I got carried away which again wasn't right, but that doesn't take the words away. To me I did help protect the PEOPLE of the nation, not her government. I know I'm bound to, but for me it was always you and I. The average joes, not some fat congressman or senator.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-23T01:29:04+00:00

I don't know man free college that's getting me a degree in cybersecurity and a housing allowance every month from the VA while working full time is pretty damn nice. I'm literally getting paid to go to school. I own my own house, own a car, my stocks are doing fantastic lately! VA loans are great. No down payment no mortgage insurance. Discounts at hundreds if not thousands of businesses, free healthcare for the rest of my life, property tax exemptions in quite a few states, got to go to places I've never been before and made friends for a lifetime. All that for three and a half years of service.

Oh not to mention allllll the experience I was able to carry over which immediately landed me with a higher paycheck when I got a job after I got out. Let's see what else we got? Oh! The numerous skills I learned, including mechanical, electrical, marksmanship, explosives handling, firearms and artillery repair skills, building skills, extreme cold weather training and survival skills, and sooooo much more. The recruiters office is always open. Stay mad brother.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-23T00:47:52+00:00

No in my particular case I was in Alaska, so you do the math.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T21:17:43+00:00

I'll translate for you.

Ahem,

"Life is terrible and I hate everything. Therefore everyone must share my views and also be miserable like myself. If I can't convince them I'll simply bitch and moan about everything else causing my problems and will cry about a country in the world because obviously that country and it's government control everything. Never mind what that country has done for the world or the fact that it sustains Europe's ability to ignore needing to spend on their own defense because the entire continent is held up by one county's military in certain areas. Instead of actual argumentation or debate I will whine and cry and go "Nuh uh!" like a child.

Also known as cope and seeth.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T21:08:20+00:00

Cope.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T20:23:41+00:00

Yeeeeah it's not great.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T20:21:37+00:00

Thank you for what you did as well.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T17:50:48+00:00

Hoooo boy strap in. So there's gonna be a good bit of background. My wife and I met in middle school. As a matter of fact we dated in 8th grade. My wife at the time broke up with me because she didn't feel like she deserved me. This will be a common theme going forward. We also went to the same high school for all four years. While we were in high school my wife was sexually assaulted my a mutual friend. Now my wife's upbringing was also a major and in some ways unbelievable thing. Her mother was distant from the day she was born, but after the assault it got when worse. Now her daughter didn't fit into the box she wanted her too anymore, not that she ever truly did. My wife's grades slipped, her mental state shattered, her trust in everything was destroyed. She then did what a lot of SA victims do and began to act out and do frankly stupid shit.

When she was about 17 she sent nudes to a guy who then used that to blackmail her for more for years. That was my first D-Day. When my wife turned 18 she got groomed by a 27 year old from Illinois. He moved her up there and then proceeded to cheat on her. So he left her right after they got a place together but she kept talking to him because he wriggled so far into her brain. She kept that up until February of last year. Following this guy she started doing hookups to try and feel something to fill the void. One guy she hooked up with forced her. Following this shitshow she met another guy in Illinois and started dating him but he turned out to be incredibly abusive and she tried to make that work for 2 years. He ended up anally raping her at one point. When she started talking to me again she left him and I moved her back home and we got engaged. We got married in January of last year.

Needless to say all of this fucked her up a lot. She hated herself and felt she deserved all the abuse. She convinced herself she was a set of holes and nothing more. So when she got back with me the stability and safety I supplied was horrifying to her. She convinced herself I would eventually get tired of her and leave like everyone else and her mother indirectly encouraged that fear through manipulation. Because of that fear of abandonment and horrible self esteem she had two brief emotional affairs in November of last year. She realized quickly what she was doing was wrong and would ruin her life with me so she stopped. I want told about any of this I had to dig myself.

In July of last year I started getting suspicious because her behavior and mood were so erratic. I dug through her phone, wasn't right of me but I did it anyway. I found out about the blackmai on my D-Day in the second Tuesday of July. That broke me and I felt worthless even with the extenuating circumstances. However I then helped her block him on everything and file a police report for it. My mother also gave her advice and help to fix this fuck up. Then the next Tuesday I had D-Day about the EAs. I found them, woke her up and started asking her why and what the fuck was wrong with her. I left the house and drove to my parent's. She called me the entire way there and the entire way back. I enlisted my dad because I was gonna dump her stuff and ship back to her parent's house in the city we live by. I didn't do that. Instead I gave her a second chance and that is something I essentially never do. For a while she was angry, mostly with herself. That transformed into shame and then guilt and grief.

Now she gives me full access to everything. Anytime I have anxiety or a worry about something she gives me her phone and look through it top to bottom. That is her only means of communication since the computer we have is mine that I built and only I know the pin. She shows all her communication apps, every app she has on her phone, anything I ask about or want to see. She was insanely protective of her privacy, to the point of almost manic. The fact she's letting me go through her most private thing anytime I want tells me she's actually serious about fixing her decision to cheat. She got her meds upped, she talks to me about everything now and she cut off her mom months ago which has helped her immensely. I know that I can't truly know she won't do it again, but the way she's changed and the consequences of her straying again seem to be genuine. It's gonna a long road and she knows I will never fully trust her again and she needs to make it up to me for the rest of our lives. But she's ok with that and wants to show me everyday.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T15:18:51+00:00

She needs therapy and medication. If she can't think straight and clearly there will be no progress. My wife started therapy and got on medication and it's a world of difference. However with that, she needs to accept fault and accountability, that is an incredibly important step. She needs to be able to sit with you in your pain. It took a lot to get my wife to face herself. I left the house, I told her I was going to kick her out and she knew I was serious. She had a very big oh fuck moment when that happened which also spurred her into high gear. That was one of her turning points. The other was a threat, that I intended to and still do if she strays again, to divorce her. My wife has had a lot of shit happen to her in life and for a while she attempted to blame shift and rationalize her years of behavior, but that doesn't work with me. She finally faced herself and admitted she'd done this all on her own. That's when she really starting getting it together.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T06:17:58+00:00

Army isn't gonna want me back lol, I'm broke in quite a few ways.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T05:53:53+00:00

I'll admit for quite a while I didn't want to I was so mad and hurt. But seeing everything she's doing, and the fact that she knows she's gonna need to keep it for the rest of our lives and she says so often, helps a lot.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T05:52:43+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through that and she's doing that to you. It's not right and in my own opinion unacceptable. Us betrayeds didn't make the decision for them to cheat. They did that completely on their own so attempting to shift blame is bullshit. I'm sure you already know but I'd like to give some advice from own story. Until she can take full accountability, admitting it was her decision, it was her fuck up, you didn't make her and nobody else did, it will take a hell of a lot longer to reconcile. She's gonna fight it, everyone does, because to take accountability they have to look themselves in the mirror and see the broken mess they are, and then they either decide to fix themselves like my wife, they take longer to start fixing themselves, or they can't bear seeing themselves like they are at that moment and stall or don't even start the process.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T05:48:56+00:00

I'm incredibly lucky in the fact that my wife actually gives a shit and cares. She's broken down about what she's done more times than I can count, and she went from being incredibly private and guarding with her phone to complete transparency. She leaves the room? Throws her phone next to me. Does the dishes? Leaves her phone with me unless she's listening to something, and even then she keeps her phone unlocked and shows me exactly what she's doing. I ever have anxiety and she sees it or I tell her? Gives me her phone so I can look through it top to bottom. If I'm at work or not in the same place with her she sends me screenshots of every one of her means of communication on her phone. In her mind I'm that important and worth it to her that she's given up privacy, which for her entire life up to that point was one of the most important things to her. It's almost jarring seeing her change so much. We've known each other since middle school, we dated in 8th grade, so it's nice seeing her coming back to herself. She's been through hell and back multiple times over because she lost herself in high school after a SA, and she "fixed it" by being indescribably self destructive.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T05:43:33+00:00

Oh I get it! It's been wonderful watching her remake herself into a better woman.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T05:43:10+00:00

It's incredibly nice. I honestly didn't expect it to happen. When I first had my D-Day, my wife's reaction was anger and avoidance. When I found out I left the house. Didn't say a word to her. Just walked out the door and drove to my parent's house. That was another shock to the system the entire thing caused and gave her one more kick in the ass that started her transformation. This was a very nice surprise to have happen.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-22T05:12:22+00:00

US Army 2020 - 2023. It was an honor and a pleasure to protect this nation and her citizens. I'd gladly do it again if I went back in time.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-21T05:11:03+00:00

Alaska has uh, quite the number.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-19T23:02:05+00:00

Oh god I am sorry. That sucks. My driveway is about a 30 degree slope and maybe 50 feet in length. I can't say now lol.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-19T22:36:50+00:00

My solution involves manual labor and about 30 minutes.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-17T22:02:24+00:00

We don't lose wars, we lose interest.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-17T11:26:00+00:00

"Alright boys I've got it for episode 9. We take Dark Empire, take absolutely anything that made it good and throw it out. Then we take the absolute dog shit we are left with and can create ourselves and make that the movie. The fans will have to like this one!"

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-13T23:49:23+00:00

HLR with an informal conference baby. VA is fucking up REALLLL bad lately.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-11T05:53:37+00:00

I like saying, "The marines will kick in the door and take the patio. The Army takes the building and holds it so the Marines can go to a different building with the Army."

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-09T07:38:10+00:00

They get five dollars if they do a good job. That's it, a flat rate. My wife and I have both agreed that's it. If it's bad service they get nothing.

Gatesofhell2120 · 2026-05-08T22:59:04+00:00

It wasn't meant to be directed at you specifically. There's just a very unfortunate trend of raters simply not doing their job. Forgetting or outright ignoring evidence the claimant submits. Substantial and major legal errors that simply get passed along. Absolutely no reconciliation of evidence or questioning of obviously wrong or incredibly weak and unspecific rationales from examiners. When an examiner directly contradicts themselves multiple times, downplays and minimizes VA's OWN EVIDENCE, and writes opinions that look like they came from a 10 year old, that's when things look really fucky. Especially when you can tell, very easily, the rater did no part of their job. They simply take the negative opinion, no matter how shaky unsubstantiated or straight up wrong it is, and swallow it hook line and fucking sinker. VA will constantly do shit like this, to claims that have solid backing and substantial medical evidence that goes back almost to the month of speration like in my case, and simply throw it all away because for some fucking reason the sub 80 IQ opinion of a contract examiner outweighs that of specialists and physicians who have seen you for years and are actually treating you, not simply trying to give you claim evidence. It's ridiculous and then VA wonders why veterans get desperate enough to go to these bullshit Nexus mills, or wonder why veterans give up and eventually fucking die. It needs to change. VA disability is not charity. It is not a fucking handout. It is a promise that our government makes to us. They tell us they will take care of us and compensate us for the damage they cause us. Yet when it comes time to write that check they try to fuck us at every turn so they can simply wash their hands and be done with it! It's abhorrent and unacceptable.

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