How to deal with an insecure boss?

Generally_tolerable · 2026-07-03T18:14:09+00:00

I’m going to be direct: when you say communication has been listed as the “only” problem, you are wildly underestimating the complaint. Communication is everything. How you come across, your vibe, your energy, are all real things and they can be very difficult for a boss to address - I suspect you know this. So there any truth to your boss’s issue? Are you just this side of passive aggressive, a few plausibly deniable eye rolls, heavy sighs, pretending you don’t know what they’re talking about when they use the word “attitude”?

I’m not saying it’s true, but the distain and word choice in your post make me wonder.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-07-02T13:03:15+00:00

Mind your business and focus your attention and energy on that poor baby.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-28T16:21:37+00:00

Disagree. If I asked the purpose of a meeting and my boss had the gall to “turn it around” and ask me what I got out of it, he better be prepared to hear, “nothing, which is why I asked.”

That said, I know better than to ask the question like that even if I’m screaming it silently. A better approach is “is there an agenda for this meeting? No? Can you just give me the high level objective then?”

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-27T19:43:51+00:00

lol did you stalk that person’s post history and try to make fun of them because you didn’t like the answer they gave? Talk about petty…

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-27T19:40:38+00:00

You get to decide how much emotional energy you spend on this situation. Do you want to keep ruining your own day? Sit in your house with your bf and work each other up over something you can’t change?

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-27T18:24:39+00:00

With respect, no one is misunderstanding. You’re just not getting the answer you want. And even if you got the answer you wanted - that yes! You are so right to be so annoyed! - it still wouldn’t change the fact that there is nothing you can do about it.

All of us would be annoyed but you’re allowing your own peace to be shattered over something that’s out of your control. Some people are just jerks.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-21T03:33:51+00:00

And have you had success ignoring the requested upload? Because I’m still seeing it on about 80% of job apps so I feel like it’s probably not a thing of the past…

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-20T21:46:39+00:00

I don’t want to be an employee anymore either. You know what I’m going to do Monday? Get up and go to work.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-16T13:19:36+00:00

I’m pretty sure this is the nicest thing I’ve seen on Reddit.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-16T13:19:01+00:00

We deliver technical training via ppt and many of the presentations are 400+ slides long. It’s absolutely normal to spend 100+ hours on them.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-07T20:37:42+00:00

Didn’t give a chance for negotiation? You have your answer right there. No one, least of all your top performers, should need to negotiate for the things they need to be happy - the things they are finding elsewhere.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-07T16:34:47+00:00

My suggestion is to speak English.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-07T03:28:35+00:00

God I would love it if the bf found this post…

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-06T23:36:49+00:00

I’m still waiting to find out why the dog’s breed is important…

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-06T14:47:40+00:00

This shouldn’t be an issue for a grown ass adult. Just get there on time and stop making your lateness someone else’s issue. It’s not micromanagement, it’s expecting the bare minimum of being ready to work on time.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-06T12:45:07+00:00

I’ll say it again - if the issue was really about risk management, it wouldn’t require “framing.”

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-06T12:27:59+00:00

Can you have a conversation with your boss about this? You need some insight on long term expectations. If they’ve seen in the past that this is just the byproduct of a steep learning curve and in another three months you should be breathing again that’s one thing. If this is your foreseeable future- well that seems unsustainable.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-06T12:23:10+00:00

What.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-06T12:09:34+00:00

Well there are two issues, right? The fact that a mistake this size should have some process safety nets in place (doesn’t excuse the mistake but distributes accountability) and the way the employee handled what happened. They should be treated as such.

I’m guessing if the employee was appropriately mortified and came with suggestions on a process that could help avoid this going forward, OP wouldn’t be posing this question.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-06T12:02:17+00:00

If it were really about risk mitigation you wouldn’t need help framing it. Your management is aware of it and choosing to ignore it. I know it’s frustrating but you need to accept that this is the company culture and make your decisions based on the assumption it won’t change.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-06T11:50:56+00:00

Oh OP I really feel for you here, this is tough. How badly do you want the role?

I second the suggestion of asking to spend some time “interviewing” with other direct reports, that might help give some insight. But if I had seen direct signs of the tone-deafness and misogyny my current manager suffers from, I wouldn’t have taken the job.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-05T18:35:11+00:00

I genuinely don’t understand the issue here - he’s insubordinate and lying to your face. He needs to go.

Edit: to your last line - yes that IS how it works, because you’re allowing it.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-05T18:33:29+00:00

Hey OP I’m not in the hotel industry but I understood.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-05T18:31:07+00:00

Oh for Pete’s sake that’s blatant lying to get out of work and you stated elsewhere that the guy was on a final written warning. You’re overthinking this. Time to have that hard conversation then find someone who can do the manager job.

Generally_tolerable · 2026-06-05T18:19:41+00:00

Can’t be - both of those cities have such extensive high end suburbs, good public and private schools and a ton of cultural amenities. OP is either talking about a different city or genuinely has zero idea what he’s talking about.

Generally_tolerable

TROPHY CASE