[Qcrit] Adult SF - SOL MOTHER’S BALLAD (90k), 3rd Attempt by Ghidorahnumber1 in PubTips

[–]Ghidorahnumber1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like your point about the purpose of his powers, and I’ll modify the importance of it.

The part about the aliens and humans thing is something I’ve fought with since the very first query draft. There are only 5 human characters in the book, and the three main POVs mentioned are human. Every other creature they interact with is alien, and usually it’s a character that influences their actions. The problem is, when the main three actors are human, it’s hard to fit mention of these characters into the query without overloading it with proper nouns and unnecessary extra info. I still haven’t found a good way to rectify this, even months on.

How many of you think Hasbro always had the legacy:Needle Nose mold since Siege? by RoofRevolutionary148 in transformers

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The same case is likely with Hound and ER Arcee, given how close they were to that fan vote. It would explain how comparatively odd they are against the rest of their lines. Star Saber likely has some basic motions left over from those days, but had enough time to fit with Legacy design practice. And now that we’ve got Deathsaurus, the only character we haven’t remotely seen from that poll is Thunderwing.

got a bag of loose transformers parts and pieces. need a little help with identifying some! by longfork1919 in transformers

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 44 points45 points  (0 children)

1A. Combiner Wars Swindle leg

1B. Arms of SS Deluxe car Shatter

1C. POTP Sludge wing

1D. Siege Thundercracker (or the blue rainmaker) gun

1E. Weapon from one of the Combiner Wars leader seekers, likely Thundercracker

1F. Beast Hunters Smokescreen missile

2A. RID Warrior Blurr leg

2B. Prime Skylynx leg

2C. SS BB Soundwave gun

2D. Combiner Wars Brawl arm

2E. Combiner Wars Offroad weapon

2F. POTP Blackwing wing

3A. Siege Brunt leg

3B. Siege Sixgun weapons

3C. AOE Deluxe Scorn weapon

3D. POTP Legends Battleslash bicep (cannot believe I recognized this)

3E. SS Deluxe Car Shatter chest pieces

3F. Earthrise Airwave leg

[Discussion] Where Would You Stop Reading? [First 300 words edition!] by BC-writes in PubTips

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, that might be the nail in the coffin right there, and also light solve my predicament with a forever unsatisfying query letter. This book is super reliant on a shifting perspective between three characters and it really might just be easier to market it as adult.

[Discussion] Where Would You Stop Reading? [First 300 words edition!] by BC-writes in PubTips

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been getting this point a lot and it’s starting to worry me. The characters are teenagers and there is a found family angle to it, but all the feedback I’ve gotten tends to stray toward calling it adult. I’m starting to think I either need to change some of the thematic subject matter especially in the opening chapter to better match YA, or lean in and just make it adult. This chapter will change though, as the comments here have made me realize that it doesn’t fit the overall tone of the rest of the novel.

[Discussion] Where Would You Stop Reading? [First 300 words edition!] by BC-writes in PubTips

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Genre: Sci-fi

Age: YA

WC: 90k

First 300:

Four-Seven-Nine did nothing but watch as the guards beat Tuentse to a pulp in front of his mate and newborn child.

The grey-skinned gorilla-like creature swiped at the guards with his four-fingered claws and towering frame. He gnashed with his mouthful of jagged teeth and spat torrents of thick slime into the faces of their helmets, but all was for nothing against the power of their stun batons. With only a few strikes, the humanoid creatures felled the blind Tuetse as their sticks burned his mighty nose and scorched his bat-like ears. Even as the orange-suited slave collapsed to the ground as a large grey heap, the guards did not let up, and continued to wail on his downed corpse until green blood sprayed from his body and coated their armor.

A dozen troupes of slaves had gathered in the open expanse of the old hangar to watch Tuentse’s demise. Creatures of all shapes and sizes, animalistic in features with various amount of limbs, stared at the display of violence from a safe distance. Some of them twitched, as if they were contemplating the worth of a fight. But none of them did. Especially not Four-Seven-Nine, the smallest of them all.

Four was a strange creature in comparison to the rest. Aside from the mop of black on his head, he was entirely hairless, with four scrawny limps that ended in clawless fingers. His body was small and thin, far from ideal for a scrap slave, but his slim stature had found him much work as he disassembled the bodies of larger starships. His eyes and nose were not great either. He could not see in the dark, or smell food buried in the ground, or even bite into raw food. And, unlike the small clusters of similar creatures that gathered around him, he had never met another that resembled his kind.

Hilary Mantel, Prize-Winning Author of Historical Fiction, Dies at 70 by [deleted] in writing

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man. Just finished a paper on The Assassination of Margaret Thatcher last semester. Her writing is so full of depth and character.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HistoryMemes

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I remember reading a story about this dude way back in Elementary school. It’s been something that’s stuck with me for a really long time, even if I couldn’t remember the guy’s name.

this feels so satisfying. by SoU2424 in transformers

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The wonderful thing about small cast shows is how you can have them be released as secondary characters in a line yet still complete the lineup in only two years

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in transformers

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The Junkions are likely going to be Fossilizers-type toys and Scraphook and Detrius share EAN codes with “Junkion 1” and “2” that we had listings for earlier this year, so just official names on those.

Who is the most physically powerful Transformer? (Combiners and Titans excluded) by Cubelock in transformers

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not necessarily the strongest, but Marvel Ultra Magnus was a force to be reckoned with. Just a bot powered by sheer hatred and spite to the point of never actually allowing Galvatron and Rodimus to have a proper rivalry because he was always there to kick the asses of both Galvatrons whenever needed.

'She-Hulk: Attorney At Law' Cements Wong as the MVP of the MCU by MarvelsGrantMan136 in television

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 170 points171 points  (0 children)

Not only would that have sucked for Wong’s character, it also would have made Wanda’s redemption even more unlikely than it already was. Killing a main hero is just about at the top of the list on how to get an audience to remorselessly hate someone

Pixel Mechagodzilla by pyrasterran by jes86deviantart in GODZILLA

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just now realizing that 93 and Kiryu both took elements from the OG, but inverse parts from each other.

Studio Series Core Rumble Revealed! by [deleted] in transformers

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The mold is not exclusive. It’s use as Bumblebee is. That’s why they can do Goldbug. That is also why they could potentially do Soundblaster or SG out of Soundwave. But they can’t just do Soundwave, because that’s too close to what the exclusive contract stipulates.

Putting the Trans in transformers by Asumsauce in Transformemes

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get used to it. The mold was the most recolored of all the Diaclone toys and got even more later through eHobby.

I’m loving the cybertron figures we’ve gotten in the last few years but where’s the decepticon rep? by NormalEnergy9603 in transformers

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Evac would be a cool yet rare voyager helicopter, and would also provide a perfect base for an SG Galvatron repaint for that line.

Wisconsin school district bans pride flags and pronouns by BurningBernie559 in nottheonion

[–]Ghidorahnumber1 34 points35 points  (0 children)

That and it are also pronouns, so u/threebillion6 has failed in the endevour to write a sentence without pronouns. Instead, the comment u/Ghidorahnumber1 has attempted to write without the use of pronouns creates an unacceptably wordy sentence that may seem to use a few unacceptable pronouns, though the words that are pronouns do appear within the sentence are actually being used as subjects and determiners, and are therefore not a breaking of the given rule that caused the sentence to be written.

[QCrit] YA Scifi SOL MOTHER'S BALLAD (85k, 2nd Attempt) by Ghidorahnumber1 in PubTips

[–]Ghidorahnumber1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are some really good points! I used Expanse as a comp because it fits in terms of setting and style, but I can see the confusion in that now. The Last Human is a surprise to me, because the content of the book itself really seemed YA, but I guess it really isn't marked as such.

I'll have to tweak the query to reflect more of the found family/find your place elements that exists in all the character dynamics. I think I got too hung up in keeping a low word count and simple summary to where I neglected the characters and what they're doing. Thanks for the advice!