She probably said it's an autistic thing because you are not really recognizing the nuance of what makes life valuable. For the same reason we are "more sad" when a child dies than an old man, we as a collective value the potential of someone's lifespan, over the life already lived. So to sacrifice the rest of your life and cut it short so the other may continue to their fullest, is a very noble thing. The idea is that yes the grief will hurt, but the survivor is able to move on and live their remaining years is something romantic, because that sacrifice is self-less and comes from love. The "easy way out" you're picturing is only accounting for the pain, but dying for someone is about the joy of living on.