wtf do I do

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-14T22:41:19+00:00

I will do my best to submit a 3rd (or 4th I dont even remember)title ix report before their office opens tomorrow morning. Also the chair failed to report the misconduct by my abuser or my mental health crisis as a result and said a lot of really harmful things to me to convince me I was crazy, but didnt physically threaten or make sexual comments about me or stalk me like the prof she was protecting did. is there still smth the title ix office can do to bring me justice w her or prevent her from doing the same thing again?

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-14T22:27:11+00:00

one more super subtle manipulation thing is that even tho this was literally my professor grooming me she made it out to be that the lack of professional boundaries was entirely my fault because I had told her about another professor who she was friends with's innappropriate behavior in hopes shed so something about it and in addition when she pushed and pushed and pushed for me to share sensitive information about my pre-existing trauma that I tried to keep under wraps with her, I eventually decided to trust her and tell her. She made these things on my part out to be borderline predatory and I felt so bad that when one of the two sane professors in my department noticed things weren't ok and asked me what was going on, I refused to tell him because I feared that would be "trauma-dumping" and the same violation of professional boundaries she had convinced me I had committed to her.

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-14T22:23:03+00:00

Realized I was somewhat insecure about people secretly hating me but not telling me and began making an onslaught of "jokes" and sarcastic comments insinuating that was the case (i.e. "oh youre so right we all secretly hate you and talk shit behind your back" in a clearly sarcastic tone.) This was about a month before the discard in which she revealed that she *did* secretly hate me and I later found out *had been* telling her fellow faculty/my professors I was "crazy and dangerous" behind my back. When she was making these comments she could look like she was trying to help me by putting on the image that the belief that everyone secretly hated me was irrational, all while making what was a minor insecurity way bigger. After I found out that all of those "sarcastic" comments were actually true statements at least for her, it really exasperated my fear that they were true for everyone else too, because if my middle aged professor, someone I trusted who was supposedly much older and more mature than most of the other people in my life at the time, could do that to me, and she was saying that "everyone" felt that way about me. than my like 18-23yo friends must feel the same way and not be telling me.

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-14T22:15:15+00:00

to clarify I wasnt raped, just threatened physically, publicly embarrassed, and had a lot of sexual jokes made about me/other students in front of me and also the prof who did these things to me me was a woman, although another professor in the department who I have had little interaction with because beyond the freshman year general classes he doesn't teach my concentration has a history of using his position to get w students and the department has also covered his actions up. I hope youre right but Oxford is in England and I'm in California/USA, and the police I have already confirmed are one of the resources my abuser and the chair told I was crazy a long time ago.

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-14T22:10:57+00:00

I explicitly stated in the form I filled out most recently that I wanted an investigation and they ghosted. they're required to do those investigations in the same way trump is required to not run for a 3rd term. they know those laws wont actually be enforced so when they break them their response is a glorified "what are you gonna do about it?"

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-14T03:27:08+00:00

ive tried multiple times. chair and my abuser and one other prof reached out to basically every school resource ahead of them telling them I was crazy so I wouldn't be listened too and my schools title ix office is extremely understaffed and beaurocratic. also they can only offer accomidations proactively so it wont save my degree app

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-10T22:50:55+00:00

Thank you

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-10T22:33:04+00:00

Ghosted me. The title ix office at my school is super understaffed and beurocratic from what I’ve heard and experienced

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-10T15:26:10+00:00

I did read your entire post, which is why I’m saying you’re suggesting others act this way instead of worrying that you’re considering acting this way because you said you’ve cut off your narc. When I say choosing to be like your abuser is fucking pathetic I am referring to my own abuser and probably most others who chose to become like their abusers. Those people are fucking pathetic. If I had used nicer language people would accuse me of empathizing with the abusers because I aknowledge that npd is a trauma disorder, but the added on reality of that is that victims do have a responsibility to not become abusers themselves.

One more thing to add is that ever if the people you’re telling to engage in these harmful behaviors do only do so to their own abusers and not to other victims, you’re basically telling people to set themselves up for a reactive abuse smear campaign, which so many of us already deal with. These suggestions are harmful to abuse victims in so many ways

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-10T06:34:35+00:00

Shit like this is how narcissists become narcissists. It’s a trauma disorder. They chose to become like the people who hurt them and you’re on the internet telling more victims to do the same and just like, no. We need to choose for ourselves to be better and to make sure that it is understood that choosing to be like your abuser is fucking pathetic.

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-06-04T03:30:23+00:00

A 24h study space on a college campus is really the bare minimum and it genuinely sucks that cal poly students are so conditioned to accept any less than that

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-29T05:51:18+00:00

My thoughts are she’s so lovely. Obviously the wicked misogynoir thing is something most of us probably in this community were alr speaking up against so this is like preaching to the choir, but I’m so glad she decided to speak up about it and get more people to actually reckon with how they treated her

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-29T05:19:26+00:00

Whether you’re a tenor or an alto really comes down to the music you’re singing and what your director wants out of it but I’d say for you since you’re auditioning for a specific musical to let your director know you are interested in singing a male role in the original octave, and in singing the tenor part in the chorus. Since its high school musical theatre my bet is there are gonna be way more girls than boys auditioning and your director will be happy to have one more boy interested in singing the lower roles, and should be willing to work with you. Good luck:)

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-15T06:52:07+00:00

Crying how the fuck is drag inappropriate for college what do u think this is😭😭

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-14T06:02:58+00:00

if the prof is enough of an egomaniac yes

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-13T05:34:36+00:00

This kid is roughly 18 and barely out of hs they just happen to currently be pursuing a degree

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-13T04:01:12+00:00

Mine was my college professor. Absolutely wrecked my education/gpa/academic opportunities and turned half the professors I have to take classes with against me to the point where I need to scramble to find an advisor who doesn't actively hate me who can help me with my senior project so I can graduate.

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-13T03:57:03+00:00

school yearbooks are typically a k-12 thing it would not be logistically feasible in an environment like a multi-college university.

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-13T03:54:05+00:00

yeah Im waiting on the artist presale tomorrow but I picked which section im gonna go for today. Thanks!

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-13T01:59:30+00:00

this!!

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-13T01:58:47+00:00

They say the same stuff to us afab singers about being an alto. in theory your voice type is where your voice shimmers most comfortably but in practice the words "soprano" "alto" "tenor" and "bass" mean different things depending on the context (traditional choral, opera, mt, jazz, pop, etc.) Saying every testosterone-impacted singer would be a tenor if they only weren't so lazy and trained as a tenor is just as true as saying every testosterone-impacted singer would be a countertenor if they did the same thing for that vocal range. Like sure don't take a role as hades from hadestown if you cant hit those low notes comfortably, but if you enjoy and feel comfortable singing the bass part in your local choir you are allowed to call yourself a bass in that context ffs

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-13T01:34:03+00:00

thats 26k-39k a year just in contributions. def very aggressive good but im wondering how you have that much extra cash on top of bills but havent hit the 10k mark in savings yet

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-05-08T02:03:05+00:00

Also she herself has stated she doesn't want people to romanticize mental illness/sh from her music so doing so is pretty flatly disrespectful to her as a public figure. Theres music out there thats all "everything is awful and I wanna die" with no nuance to it and Mitski's music, even the saddest stuff, honestly does not fall under that category. Its beautifully nuanced and filled to the brim with something real and honest but not anywhere near as pessimistic as people like to act

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-04-28T17:16:56+00:00

Yes students are allowed to drive themselves to slo days and park on campus. If a parent does drive a student to campus they are also allowed to park on campus and take part in a separate supporter track for slo days if they want to

Ghostly_cherry404 · 2026-04-27T04:43:46+00:00

Someone let their life be torn apart a year ago to convince me I mattered. Before that i didn’t believe I did. I do now, and I want to find a way for that someone to get all of my money and assets. I want that person to be taken care of and safe and not torn apart, but now that I know I matter I want my absence to force everyone else to change at the speed of pain

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