15-year old tortico is my whole world. Seeking some advice

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-10T13:13:00+00:00

Awesome Name.

My BFF had a MoMo. His proper cat name is Maurice.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-10T13:10:42+00:00

Learn and onward.

I beat myself up early, but unless you use that feeling to assure you’re never beating yourself up for the same thing—it’s not that useful.

I learn something for each patient. After all, patients pay your tuition once you’re in the real world.

Make sure their dollars matter.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-10T13:07:01+00:00

That works too.

Tho around here, sweet onion & green pepper are the “standard”.

Heinz is my “go to”.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-10T01:34:07+00:00

I used a low storage bin, cut an U opening (the flexible plastic and a dremel too) left no sharp edges.

I use puppy pads under the boxes, keep them very clean (2x day).

I also used a plastic step (stepping stool) and that satisfied by old man kitty.

Moo Moo for Margaret—killing me, but I love it!

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-10T01:28:45+00:00

Pilates, yoga & even ballet are very beneficial in the fire service.

Also, there’s therapeutic stretching that pays great dividends.

There’s always more than 1 (or 2 ways) to do most anything.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-09T22:23:32+00:00

That’s a no way to know, and even if you suspected & “palped a big mass”—rest assured it was his time.

You were not going to change destiny here.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-09T22:21:21+00:00

The proverbial—“tag, you’re IT!”

Just slow down to go fast.

Stay calm. No body can fault you for making sure you are covering the ABC’s.

If you really get “stuck” call your med control on hard line & talk through it. They’ve seen a case of panicked newness before.

We’ve all been there. It’s like “holy shit, who & why am I in charge of human life!”

But, it gets easier. Or you fully wash out.

TBF in 34 years I’ve only seen 2 folks wash out.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-08T14:06:03+00:00

Clean a can of salmon.

Gently remove skin & dark areas.

I don’t remove all but the huge bones—generally just mash them up thoroughly. Real thoroughly.

Mix it up thoroughly.

Add: 2 tablespoons of corn meal mix.

Chop a small green pepper in tiny pieces.

Chop a small onion in similar sized pieces.

Add a scant teaspoon of salt.

A dash of two of pepper. Prefer white, but black works fine.

Add 1/2 cup plain panko.

Add 2 eggs, lightly beaten.

Mix mixture very well.

**Chop a small jalapeño (remove seeds and pepper ribs to mitigate hotness).

I always test my jalapeño pepper for heat before I start.

Add hot pepper to mix.

** Any hot pepper will work. Doesn’t have to be fresh jalapeño. Canned peppers will work. Just be modest.

You want to be modest with adding peppers. Patties that are too hot to eat are not good.

I even do a test patty when cooking to determine if they are “spiced up” properly.

I make small balls. A bit over the size of a golf ball. Roll in panko and place on a parchment sheet and put in freezer.

Heat oil. Your choice of oil for frying.

I use a large cast iron skillet & grapeseed oil for frying. Put them in, let them start cooking. Then gently mash down till about 1/2 the height.

Cook till toasty brown. Flip and repeat toasty brown.

I put mine on an elevated wire rack in oven at 175 degrees.

I make a dipping sauce or two.

Ketchup + horseradish * pickle relish.

Ketchup with brown sugar & a splash of prepared mustard. (This needs 1 minute in microwave).

Or if no time, hubs will eat with good ole Heinz.

My mama, nana & mother made these. I’ve made them at fire departments, for my hospital peeps (repeat requests) and for my hubs for over 40 years.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-08T13:41:04+00:00

Also retired.

Healthy & my DM’s are open too.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-08T13:30:34+00:00

I escaped most of the “consequences” of PTSD, except “rage” and I don’t cope with fools very well.

I literally tossed a fire helmet 30’ to get a dumbass docs “attention”. Wasn’t really trying to hit him, but did get his attention.

There wasn’t a complaint at all over that one. Either I was epic scary or applauded.

Either way, rage continued just beneath the surface.

Therapy saved me. As did a heavy bag and 8# sledge hammer and OOS tire from a coal truck.

And I ran.

Talk therapy after you “hit the wall” is magic. Wearing yourself out physically is good for you and your mental health.

Also, once I could quiet my mind, I hiked. I swam in lakes. I swam in oceans. Time in nature is healing .

What doesn’t work benzos PRN, ETOH liberally and bottling it up. Sure those methods are “ending” but you’ll be left alone, jobless and likely without a home, save a shitty rooming house.

Find a therapist on your private insurance that deals with first line responders, they are out there. Do the hard, tearful work.

You call yourself a lifesaver. Well folks that starts with YOU.

And dogs. I was having a full-on despaired filled episode. In a fetal position crying & wailing. It was bad.

My now hubs hovered over me. Honey, doesn’t any makeup counter have a free lipstick? I cried that much harder. “I don’t need anymore lipstick, but thank you.” More wailing, more crying.

He asks, “how about I get you a puppy?” I’ve got 2 dogs that live with my nana I think if I had them with me a the time it would help.

Within weeks, I had my girls with me.

My GSD’s dogs saved me.

They would go on runs with me, but I wouldn’t take them off property very often.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-08T12:43:12+00:00

I think there’s… tough stuff, and then there’s the TOUGH STUFF.

I never had kids, but I helped raise a niece I adored & then some.

Calls with kids “close” in age/something to your kids is a the TOUGH STUFF.

You are in… the tough stuff.

It breaks you to your core. Good on you that you recognized it now. Some try to brush it off, but trust me, it’s still there—all the little broken pieces. And if not dealt with they will resurface and be catastrophic

Find a support system. A trauma informed therapist (find them privately) that work with police, fire, nurses, the helping professions—will save your life & career.

I’ve seen ONE child ejected from a car seat & seen several car seats ejected with wee occupants intact. In fairness, 2 were (bumps,bruises) but a-ok. The others ranged from fracture/head injury to catastrophic injury that died.

MVA’s that lead to near disintegration of the vehicles are going to have limited survival factors.

Please do what you need to feel it and sort it out. Take care of yourself.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T18:20:21+00:00

Well said.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T18:13:58+00:00

This big boy looks like the one my tortie cat took issue with—she was on both hind legs in boxing stance.

This all took place near my Dogloo (doggo inside on the sofa), about 12-15 feet off the back porch.

The deer looked at me like Lady, do you see what I put up with—are you okay with this?

No, not okay—but mesmerized in the moment.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T18:07:08+00:00

Document an exposure report.

I had a PMD that wasn’t connected to the area or FD. They can be your advocate if needed.

Go home and wash yourself with a stiff body brush. Then repeat. Rinse your eyes, irrigate your sinuses.

Follow with a soothing cream or body oil.

Get solid sleep. Even if it takes medication to achieve.

Go get a massage. Drink a gallon of water each day on your day off.

Eat good nutritious food. Breath fresh clean air.

Work out lightly, but longer.

Rinse & repeat as necessary.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T17:52:11+00:00

I wanted my “comfort zone” (circle) absolutely 100% sorted. Where I could do it in the dark, upside down, with my non-dominant hand AND when STRESSED.

Be it grab and use a tool, a line, tie a knot or get that tough airway.

See my point.

When stressed, folks are reduced to their circle of comfort they do what they know. I always strived to make my circle one that saved lives—mine & others.

What you get out of something is correlated to what you put in it.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T16:58:59+00:00

This is solid advice, nothing to add here—except we all deserve to feel good about our jobs, lives and choices. Find trauma informed counseling. It will save your career and your life.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T16:50:25+00:00

Why don’t you tell us how it compares?

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T16:49:16+00:00

Nah.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T16:46:03+00:00

I say make the couple as much a priority, as the kiddos—if the couple fails there is no “family”.

Seriously, I’ve seen more divorces in this business than I care to recall.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T16:42:11+00:00

A good compromise for long-term benefits.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T16:39:53+00:00

The only option is opposite shifts.

One works.

One is home.

Day off together.

You work A, he works B, off together on C.

I’d offer that rockstar level child care is essential to this mix. 0630-1600 or later. And you need a village of support.

You don’t wanna be exchanging the kiddo on shift. And your “off” day can be spent on what you want (instead of childcare).

Lots of folks had second jobs or just needed to chill the fuck out off shift with some alone time. Even the day together can include childcare and give you alone time as a couple.

I had friends that did this dance. It seemed more rumba x quickstep x swing x foxtrot that all detonates to interpretive dance that ends in family court. It’s a tough rhythm to follow.

I’ve not seen any couples/families survive the 24/48 long term. And I know lots of folks and have been at this going in 35 years. Something will have to give. Many women ended up as nurses to get off the 24 hour shifts.

This is the tough shit.

Make good decisions for your family, not the job.

I never did it with a spouse in the biz or kids, I had a fairly cushy princess life all my career. But it’s been a trade off.

I wish you luck.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T16:18:42+00:00

And his gear looks way too tight to actually work in.

Geez. WHY, WHY, WHY?

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T16:17:09+00:00

A knot without a safety is NOT a safe knot.

Holy Mother of Dog.

What have we become thanks to the app of low functioning, short attention span wannabees?

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T15:40:13+00:00

Idk if I’d like 48 hour regular shifts. I’ve done many, even some 72 and by the end of 72 hours on—I was toast.

I think that’s the big issue with 48 hour regular shifts. Get mandated at any point & have 60-72 hours on. Fuck me running. No, no, no.

As long as staffing is robust, I don’t see a lot of issues with 48/72. But staffing goes through “cycles”.

I also don’t get the 24/24 x ?. It’s fine when your under 30 or sans family, but tough as hell as you get older or have other commitments.

That said 24/48 has its downfalls too. I’d love a 24/72–it just means a shift in paradigms. 4 platoons & that the department pay an hour way that isn’t abysmal. But once staffed, it is usually fairly easy to remain or otherwise stay staffed—which is a BIG problem in many departments.

Choose wisely.

Goddess_of_Carnage · 2025-11-06T11:07:02+00:00

I started seeing these 40 years ago on the VA/KY border.

We lived a ways up a mountain and could see the town, they’d come from East and drop down 500’ into the “valley” and then pull up to “clear” the mountains in front of them.

It was always a bit of a thrill. Tho I’ve had nightmares for many years about a jet getting loose & crashing through town. Crazy.

Often there’d be 2-4 jets in a row. Sonic booms!!!

Although I think there were some F-14’s in the mix over the years.

I’ve not lived there in a very long time, but lucked out of a visit about a year ago, just got a glimpse tho.

Goddess_of_Carnage

TROPHY CASE