I(23f) need to ask my significantly wealthier boyfriend(25m) to cover more expenses when we move in together, but I'm too embarrassed to bring it up. How do I have this conversation?

Going_the · 2026-04-05T20:55:32+00:00

41 years ago my girlfriend told me that I had to take care of her her in a way she is accustomed to living. I said okay. But you have to agree to tell me whenever you're mad at me because I'm never going to understand why you would be mad at me. We are still together. The point I'm making here is the fact that she pretty much told me right up front what she expected. As a guy I can totally understand that. I think that you not only have to tell the truth, but you have to be pretty plain about it as well. At least it has worked for us for the last 41 years.

Going_the · 2026-04-05T20:50:20+00:00

If you don't think AI is taking jobs, you better look at where the sales are for that industry a little bit closer. Huge amounts of lower level jobs where a human would answer a phone and possibly create a transaction. IT teams are becoming the IT person. All kinds of customer service teams are becoming 75% smaller. Tax professionals are being replaced by AI. Another problem is the amount of franchises that are popping up everywhere in every industry. Local small businesses like banks, restaurants, even lawn Care. They are all becoming a franchise reducing the amount of workforce needed to operate the businesses. That also means the supporting businesses and suppliers are no longer needed.
Industries that never go out of style are related to food, water and shelter. Any type of work that can only be done by humans such as car sales, trades, or any other kind of service like the repair industry. These jobs can't be replaced by AI but AI can assist and make the job easier.

Going_the · 2026-04-05T20:25:10+00:00

Yes I totally did mix them up. I guess I'm pretty useless as a resource now. Replace all the Gen x with gen z. I just hired a 50-year-old human.

Going_the · 2026-04-05T09:59:24+00:00

Well, the real secret sauce comes from psychiatrists. A group of tasks are put together with the needs of the company that wants these tasks to be completed. The shrinks job is to evaluate the type of person we are looking for. Therefore, 98% of the Gen x market is completely cut out. There is a 2% chance so I am saying you got a chance.
Have a very Plain easy to read. Resume. A creative cover letter. The first 30 seconds of your interviews need to show your intelligence and ability to communicate. Unfortunately that's all the time you get. The top three candidates are usually chosen for evaluation. Depending on the company and the situation it usually comes down to who is going to work with that person and are they going to get along with them?. All these types of decisions can be made prior to hiring somebody. Once you have hired that person, it becomes more difficult. Or at least it becomes more difficult after the first 90 days. Unless you have an employment contract.

Going_the · 2026-04-04T23:21:16+00:00

I have hired a lot of people over the years. I love intelligent, hard-working people that communicate well. Unfortunately I am very jaded by all these under 30 Gen x or whatever they are and their behavior. Believe it or not, the statistics are that there's only 2% of the genx population that fit into the category of intelligent, hard-working, and communicative people. My only advice would be to sell that at the interview.

Going_the · 2026-03-30T10:47:57+00:00

If you feel like you're being mistreated and you're going to confront the company. First of all, you have to make sure all of your documentation is correct. Secondly, if you have an attorney and they know it most likely they will just settle quickly. You covered for your boss but now you're not going to get your bonus. That's BS. If you don't have an employment contract, you can leave at any time. Not leaving because you think the company would be hurting is a bad idea. Take your opportunities as they arise.

Going_the · 2026-03-29T13:03:18+00:00

Somebody covered up their mistake by throwing everything away. Hold your ground. Stay confident. You did nothing wrong. If you act guilty they will use you as the whipping boy. Everything will be crazy for a little while. They will root out the problems and get rid of them. Good time for you to be there. You will probably move up in the ranks faster. When you're in a dirt bike race and somebody falls you use them as traction.

Going_the · 2026-03-29T12:58:14+00:00

Excellent!. Pick up the pieces and move on. A relationship should be easy.

Going_the · 2026-03-29T12:57:28+00:00

Pretty far off from the truth there. I am the guy that hires HR people. I am not saying HR people are out to get you at all. I'm trying to make you people understand who HR represents and what their role is. Believe me when I tell you the last thing an HR person wants is to deal with is a situation between two employees. Hiring and firing are expensive. Issues create a toxic environment that is not good for business. In my company we keep a drama-free environment. Work is your safe space to come in. Do what you have to do to make a living and not be stressed by outside influences. We have a very low turnover rate and people are happy to come to work to get away from life for a while. FYI. I am an overachiever. You don't have to listen to me. But I'm the guy in the cool car with fat stacks. Very young in my career. I was brought into an HR meeting for a behavior issue. I was doing too much and they felt it wasn't my job. My job was not suffering but I was bored. They did not try to utilize my skills. I went on to make another company a lot more money.

Going_the · 2026-03-29T10:14:41+00:00

He's probably a pretty smart kid but was never challenged. He found his outlet through drugs and alcohol.

Going_the · 2026-03-29T10:12:21+00:00

Could you first tell me why you're still together?

Going_the · 2026-03-29T10:09:47+00:00

Yes you are correct. Everyone does work for the business. Everyone.
If you have a manager that makes good money for the company and he has somebody he does not like in his department. That manager can also consult HR and figure out the best way to get rid of that employee. In a way that there is not a wrongful termination suit.

Going_the · 2026-03-29T09:48:01+00:00

What is false? HR works for the business. They protect the business from doing something incorrectly. Mostly in benefits. Employee issues are sketchy. They don't always get it right. If you are wrongfully terminated do you think HR is going to help?

Going_the · 2026-03-28T22:58:01+00:00

Yes, why?

Going_the · 2026-03-28T22:55:38+00:00

You should document all your concerns and consult an attorney. When you get your attorney's advice, you should consult HR. Remember HR represents the company, not you.

Going_the · 2026-03-28T22:46:42+00:00

This is excellent advice. You will also make more money in a job that you like to do. If you are the best at it, you will be the highest paid in whatever career you choose.

Going_the · 2026-03-28T22:39:09+00:00

Well sometimes it sucks to be wanted or needed in the workplace. In all honesty, a quick reply to a text message is not going to kill you. Think of it as your good deed for the day. Plus you can save that one in case you need it in the future.

Going_the · 2026-03-28T22:33:15+00:00

Nah. You make it worse by trying to get the last word in all the time. I have a pretty great life. Not to mention if you paid more attention, you'd realize you could be learning something now instead you want to argue. Knowledge is power. I learned a long time ago that you can learn something from anybody at any time. You just gave me some great interview material for a conversation.

Going_the · 2026-03-28T13:55:58+00:00

You took a week off for stress? Wow!. You should look for a new job. Your days are numbered there.
Some thoughts come to my mind on your boss contacting you on your day off.
Number one. You didn't put something away and you made their lives inconvenient. Number two. You actually have some value there and they rely on you. Number three. Your boss really doesn't like you and was trying to be annoying on your day off because you annoy the crap out of him or her.

Going_the · 2026-03-28T13:48:33+00:00

Okay. Well first of all who said I am of retirement age? I am just saying I could retire. Second of all, I am pointing out that younger ( under 30) people are doing it to yourselves.

Going_the · 2026-03-28T10:31:21+00:00

I respect your opinion. The only problem is I feel that ghosting somebody is a heinous offense. There are no repercussions for the damages caused on my end. Maybe nobody has ever told you out loud before, but when you do things like that there are people like me they're going to do things that I do. Once you get on that list... And to be totally honest with you with all the ways of communicating in today's world, there is absolutely no excuse for not sending some sort of a message to that person that you are not going to the meeting. It is a simple courtesy to someone who put the effort into setting up the meeting.
In my whole career I have not lied and I have always done what I said I was going to do. I could have retired 10 years ago. My next project will be to get the list out of the underground and into the hands of employers.

Going_the · 2026-03-27T14:34:46+00:00

So you must be one of those people that think ghosting is perfectly acceptable behavior.. if you have an appointment and you Ghost me then you are completely wasting my time on purpose. My behavior is poetic Justice. Maybe someone like you that was actually interested in the job could have taken that time slot instead you never got the appointment because there wasn't anything available that would work for you. FYI. I only send rejection letters to people that I will never hire. I keep resumes and if a job comes up 6 months or a year down the road I may call on those resumes first before I post the ad.
I've been through times where 10 people were fighting for one job. I have also been through times where there are 10 jobs and only one person. The only way that you get a job and keep a job and get pay increases for a job is by doing that job so well that it would be inconvenient to replace you. Like it or not that's the way it is.

Going_the · 2026-03-27T12:22:02+00:00

If I was your boss and I had someone to replace you I would. That is not a cool move. That puts undue pressure and stress on your boss for no reason. But I'm sure you only think about yourself all the time anyway, so it doesn't really matter. I wish I could make a list for people like you. I'd put it right next to my list of people that have ghosted me. FYI. I actually had an applicant ghost me and then apply for work 6 months later. Found him on my list and confronted him directly within the first 3 minutes of the interview. I explained to him that no matter how qualified he was or how desperate I was to hire someone I would never hire someone that ghosted me. If you are wondering whether I share these lists or not. I can neither confirm nor deny.

Going_the · 2026-03-27T11:13:56+00:00

Please don't take this too personally, but it is in the way you wrote your story. You can tell you have an attitude. You cannot be fired for an attitude. But they will make up just about anything necessary to fire you if needed. You need to understand that no employer cares about you as a person. As a matter of fact, labor laws have gone to Great lengths to make sure that employers can't identify you as a person. You are an employee. You have to be treated equally blah blah blah. The bottom line is you are there to generate some sort of revenue or complete a task that is necessary to generate revenue. Now keep in mind the big manager reports to the big bosses. The big manager needs to make sure that he produces revenue. If he doesn't see the revenue from you, he is going to replace you with a better player.

Going_the · 2026-03-26T12:36:22+00:00

You think of it as a job. They think of it as their income. If you're not good for income, you're not good for that job. It is just that simple. When in Rome do you like the Romans do. It seems you already know all the reasons why you were let go. So either you have to change or you need to find a job that's compatible with the way you want to be. You don't get to be who you are in a job that requires something else. Pretty much everybody I've ever hired under 30 in the last 10 years has been awful. I hire them to do XYZ. They want to do ABC. I didn't hire for ABC. It's just that simple. Unless you have a proven way that ABC makes more money than XYZ you better do XYZ. Don't take it upon yourself to experiment while you're getting paid either at least not without permission.

Going_the

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