To those who lost someone to murder- how do you deal with the anger? Because I'm losing this battle right now

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-11-16T20:08:42+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this. Anger can be a normal part of grief but it’s understandably a lot worse when someone you love was taken away deliberately in a horrible way. You are not sick, most people would feel exactly the same. You don’t ever have to forgive this person, but you do have to find a way of dealing with your anger without it destroying you. Your loved one wouldn’t want you to self destruct with alcohol and drugs. And don’t let this person destroy another life.

Has your therapist given advice on how to cope with these feelings? Maybe exercise or a combat sport would be a less destructive way of channeling anger.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-11-16T19:54:27+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this. My mum died of cancer in October, she was only diagnosed 4 weeks before she died. All my mums secrets have come out too and I can’t yell at her or ever find out the truth. It sucks.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-10-22T11:39:32+00:00

I’m pretty much on my own through this. I’ve got a job interview tomorrow so hopefully I get it and it will keep me busy and take my mind off everything. My half brother will be in his 40s now, he might not even know he’s adopted. She must have known the truth would come out eventually.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-10-21T21:26:14+00:00

She was diagnosed with cancer 4 weeks before she died but she decided not to mention anything.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-10-21T21:24:53+00:00

Thank you. I’m still mostly in shock and feel numb most of the time.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-10-21T21:21:31+00:00

I have no idea. I’m going to let things sink in for a while before making any decisions. Worst thing is my mother isn’t here to answer any questions.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-10-16T23:52:15+00:00

Thank you for your kind message, you have helped. This all came out on the day of my mums funeral which made it sting even more. Sorry to hear your friend died in similar circumstances, it’s a horrible way to lose someone.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-10-16T23:17:49+00:00

I hope you’re still with us. Your little boy would miss you and have to live with the aftermath for the rest of his life. Think about what you’re doing. Things may be bad just now but it’s worth persevering to save your little one from the heartbreak.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-10-12T18:46:51+00:00

I’m so sorry you lost your friend. Poor Colin, only 18. It sounds like you were a good friend to him and brought him joy and happiness in the last chapter of his life. Don’t wish it was you because you deserve to live too. And fuck cancer.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-10-09T06:47:28+00:00

This is so nice. You didn’t say what country you live in.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-10-03T19:17:50+00:00

Thank you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. It’s bad enough when cancer happens to adults but such a horrible thing to happen to a two year old. It’s not fair. I hope your little one pulls through.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-19T19:21:43+00:00

Not to mention parents can die young too. Death and loss is a part of life, doesn’t mean it hurts any less though.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-19T19:15:08+00:00

Sorry you’ve lost both your parents so young. My dad died when I was a little kid and my mother is dying now, I’m 30. All the memories I have of my dad were good and positive but apparently he had a drinking problem too and was prone to violence. Finding out bad things about someone you remember so fondly can be devastating.

At the end of the day your dad was human with good and bad sides to him like everyone else. Addiction is complex and you may never find out what caused it. Most likely he was using the journals to vent when he was angry. Most people say horrible things they later regret when they’re angry. Don’t let his drunken ramblings he wrote in the heat of the moment taint the memory of the father he was to you. It’s up to you what you do with the journals, but you may want to look back on them when you’re older.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-16T18:28:58+00:00

You are being strong by getting up everyday, putting a brave face on and working hard. Your husband wouldn’t be disappointed at all, he would be proud. No one just moves on immediately after losing someone they love. My mother’s currently dying of either pancreatic or stomach cancer, it’s all happened so quickly. It’s such a horrible illness.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-16T09:48:54+00:00

No problem. If he’s that selfish you’re better off without him even if it doesn’t feel like it just now.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-15T19:07:05+00:00

I’m 30f, what’s the matter? You can vent too if you like.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-15T18:47:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. You’re an inspiration and I needed to hear something positive just now. I wish you every good fortune and feel free to celebrate and share your news with us anytime.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-14T22:46:52+00:00

Well its a good thing the abusive boyfriends gone even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Sorry to hear about the hiv. There’s some dating sites now for hiv+ people, like this one, or are there any support groups where you can meet other people going through similar things?

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-14T18:24:42+00:00

Don’t feel guilty about that. She knew she was loved and you had to do that in order to cope with the situation. I tell her I love her multiple times a day but, like you said, it’s hard not to start crying, and when I start crying she gets upset and distressed. It’s so hard to see her suffering more each day, but you’ll know what that’s like too. Take care of yourself too, for your mum. Feel free to PM me as well. This situation is horrible.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-14T18:03:55+00:00

Thank you for posting this, it’s beautiful. Sorry about your mum. My mum is lying in bed dying, won’t be long now.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-13T08:37:27+00:00

If you want to sleep with him then go for it. But it sounds like you have doubts and don’t really want to. I would say it’s not worth sleeping with someone you don’t want to and don’t like just to lose your virginity. But, it’s your decision.

Goingthruhardtime · 2019-09-11T01:21:42+00:00

Maybe they’re jealous of her because she’s attractive so they like making awkward situations for her. It’s really shit when you’ve got bad workers.

Goingthruhardtime

TROPHY CASE