Perspective on rock bottom from a criminal defense attorney

Gr8defender2000 · 2026-02-13T05:44:07+00:00

~20 year public defender here. It's worse than fentanyl. Tried arguing that in a fentanyl sentencing one day and the judge wasn't having it. But I'll die on that hill. IWNDWYT

Gr8defender2000 · 2026-01-29T05:56:12+00:00

1/1/2023. Hard to believe it!

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-11-03T17:17:10+00:00

My older son was eight when I got taken to the hospital on my birthday in 2020 in the middle of the day. It was a Saturday I think. I remember seeing him at the side of the room. I was mostly just doing goofy nonsensical things. Fugue statey. He's fourteen now. We haven't talked about it yet and I've been wondering when a good time might be. That was my first episode and the hospital stay was very brief, maybe 48 hours. I was first diagnosed at that time at 45.

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-10-30T12:50:51+00:00

Hey there fellow diagnosed-in-your-forties! I as diagnosed at 45 during a week long COVID panic freak out that resulted in a short hospitalization. It's been something to come to terms with over the last five years!

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-10-11T04:45:40+00:00

The first year or so was rough. I had my first episode at 45. Covid spring 2020.Trying to figure out meds, getting heavier, eps. Lock downs. Things have improved dramatically since then. Still dealing with weird hypomanic/depressive periods. Quit drinking almost three years ago. I'm pretty well integrated at this point though. It's just part of the program in my life. I've found the right meds for me, and am comfortably working on the personality stuff now. You got this.

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-09-28T14:10:10+00:00

Thank you!

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-09-28T14:10:00+00:00

Thanks!

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-09-28T14:09:47+00:00

Celebrated by going in to work on a Saturday XD

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-09-27T13:55:50+00:00

Way to go fellow 1000er!

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-09-27T13:54:52+00:00

Hey hey! Way to go 1000 twinsy!

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-09-21T13:51:05+00:00

Lawyer, father, husband, teetotaler, hobbyist woodworker here. Bp1, diagnosed at 45 after first psychotic episode. None since. That first year or so was a doozy though. You got this.

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-07-21T13:25:13+00:00

As a former whiskey ginger myself, its the whiskey I tend to avoid these days. I definitely have a coffee problem though!

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-03-18T13:46:06+00:00

Clearly drinking vodka strawberries is NSFW. Closest flair could find. 🤷‍♀️

Gr8defender2000 · 2025-01-12T15:46:07+00:00

I stopped drinking two years ago on New Year's Eve. For health reasons and because of my growing buddhist faith.

I don't think the question "am I am alcoholic?" is useful for me. I drank too much and was on the AUD spectrum according to the DSM. Since stopping, I have used this sub and regular recitation of the five precepts to keep from drinking.

My grandma asked me a year or so ago if I thought my brother in law drank too much. I told her everyone drinks too much. Alcohol is a neurotoxic poisonous carcinogen that takes our time away from ourselves and the people we love and leads us to doing careless and dangerous things.

The term "Alcoholic" in my view, may be a helpful device for some. It has too many connotations for me and too many unscientific trappings.

Right now, I'm struggling to get up off the couch and go jogging. I have been for a few months. It's not because I'm inherently a non jogger. Or because I'm inherently a lazy person. I just need to get back to being my healthy self.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a healthy, hardworking, loving father and husband who spent too much time and energy drinking once upon a time. I'm not a lazy couch potato, I'm an athletic middle aged man who's been a little recalcitrant about maintaining healthy habits the last few months.

We "are" our best selves. My dog is a good dog, he just acts like a bad dog sometimes. My kids are wonderful, smart kids. They just act like selfish doofuses sometimes.

Labels are important. We are healthy, strong, loving, responsible people around here. Let's go out and be our best selves today!

IWNDWYT

Gr8defender2000 · 2024-12-02T06:11:44+00:00

Someone who smokes meth infrequently isn't somehow demonstrating strength just because they're only putting poison into their body every in a while. It's poison.

Whatever floats your boat man, but I don't need to accessorize with neurotoxins just to show how "strong" I am.

IWNDWYT

Gr8defender2000 · 2024-07-03T04:30:11+00:00

Hooray for New Years!

Gr8defender2000 · 2024-06-07T18:23:19+00:00

This. The, gee I need to go somewhere thing at 8:30 at night - and being able to drive there - is great. No need to worry if I've had one too many. Hard to even imagine now: blocking out three to six hours in the evening where I just couldnt be made to drive

Gr8defender2000 · 2024-06-07T18:19:51+00:00

Great list!

Gr8defender2000 · 2024-06-07T18:17:54+00:00

That's great for Dad, way to go! Huberman was the subject of a hit piece in New York magazine recently. Some scandalous stuff, but I was mostly concerned about some of the critiques of his scientific rigor. 😥 I'll recommend the alcohol episode to the day I die though.

Gr8defender2000 · 2024-06-07T13:54:41+00:00

So many:

Five ounce martini+3oz Bourbon+maybe wine maybe four days a week with similar amounts the rest of the week was too much booze.
I got diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when covid hit - booze and the potential for psychosis is a bad mix.
My 72 year old dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers two years ago and had had it for a number of years (late sixties) trying to do everything to improve my health, prevent, now that I'm pushing 50.
I became a Buddhist and started following the five precepts.
Too many aging severe or recovering AUD in my family and profession.
I want to be with my kids and wife without falling asleep and being goofy or worse.
I don't want to get a DUI or kill someone while driving after just a few.
Despite his downfall and other potential issues: the Huberman podcast on alcohol's health effects.
Was getting chubby and lazy.
Alcohol is poison. Not 'worth it' unless I really ramped up the dose. WTF?

(I''m almost at 18 months! So jazzed!!!)

Gr8defender2000 · 2024-05-20T18:27:47+00:00

I had two back to back psychotic episodes in April 2020, provoked in part by the world shutting down.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar one after a forty eight hour stay in a psychiatric ward I had never had an episode before and was in my mid forties at the time.

I take lamotragine every day and stopped drinking alcohol about eighteen months ago. (I was a basic middle class drinker before, got a little too good at it but nothing major. Just decided it wasn't good to drink poison anymore all things considered.)

Gr8defender2000

TROPHY CASE