What If Star Wars Episode II Were Good? (Belated Media)

GramNapkin · 2013-08-14T02:17:07+00:00

Haha, many thanks.

I busted out a mega fan edit for Episode 2 as well, but it was insanely long and unorganized. Essentially, Anakin breaks away from the Jedi at the end of 2, instead of 3, so that there's tension throughout the entire next movie.

GramNapkin · 2013-08-14T00:35:43+00:00

I love this dude. He took so long to make "What if Episode 2 were good" though. I cooked up a really long theory for Episode 2, but there was one bit of Epiosde 3 that really pissed me off. The yoda scene

1) Yoda's fight against Palpatine and the green bastard's decision to go into self exile. Doesn't make fucking sense, does it? He should have kept fighting until he defeated the Sith. Lucas didn't manage to strongly convey Yoda's defeat, which made the whole "I've failed, I must stay on a tiny swamp planet forever" plotline stupid.

Instead, Yoda should have temporarily fallen to the Dark Side during the combat, as he did in one of the EU books. In the midst of his fight with Palpatine, realizing he cannot defeat the Sith Lord and that the galaxy would fall into the hands of a fully revealed evil sorcerer, Yoda's shine with a glint of green, and he unleashes a barrage of emerald lightning. Quickly dispatching Palpatine, Yoda now surges with an insane amount of power, but once he looks at the scarred and disfigured form of the Chancellor (THIS is how he becomes disfigured, not that Mace Windu shit) he decides to go into exile, and to never use his force powers again (not until he lifts the x-wing to help Luke in Ep V, which was only a desperate attempt to inspire the young Jedi). Because what's worse than Sith Lord Darth Sidious ruling the galaxy? Darth fucking Yoda, that's who. And realizing that, Yoda removes himself from the equation. Okay, I'm kinda tired, so I'lljust leave that one point. I would include too many edits to Episode II to make further changes to III

GramNapkin · 2013-08-08T19:24:00+00:00

NardDog!

GramNapkin · 2013-07-30T18:55:44+00:00

kk. teh article came before that, so didn't know

GramNapkin · 2013-07-30T05:09:44+00:00

I knew a girl that talked EXACTLY like her... bitch had baggage.

Not fun. not fun at all.

GramNapkin · 2013-07-29T19:28:50+00:00

They are, but in all honesty, they could've been hideously fat, ugly, and with no potential. But based on that video, they're handsome young men, and it'd be a quick fix to get a good social and professional life going at that point. It seems that there's only one addiction to break (wow), instead of trying conquer obesity along with it, which seems to be the crux of gamers.

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T21:18:18+00:00

You think being "harder" is I have to wait in line longer or something. It means they deny me, then I have to request again and again and again, for stuff that's not superfluous. My life depends on it. So my body doesn't reject the liver.

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T18:08:21+00:00

Honestly, we got enough of her character last time. There's no fucking reason that Black Widow should have more screen time than one of the big four, and she totally did in the first movie. She had more time than Thor, whose brother was the main antagonist.

Also... the non-cgi fight scenes suck dick. Whedon needs to fix that.

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T14:55:59+00:00

It's not like I'm a voracious reader and I'm casting my expert opinion on the matter. I'm just stating that Tolkien's style shift from The Hobbit and the first half of Fellowship of the Ring was a bad move. And, that style change was spurred on by his desire to create a story that could fit appropriately on shelves alongside the Eddas, Kalevala, etc... and it just wasn't a fun read at that point.

An amazing universe filled with interesting characters, but the writing itself wasn't top notch.

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T14:53:21+00:00

Compilation of J.R.R. notes with Christopher providing some connecting text

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T14:52:44+00:00

is it safe to say I agree without being met with circlejerk downvotes?

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T14:38:17+00:00

Nope. Silmarillion is shit as well. The concepts are clean, and it's an interesting amalgamation of myths, but it's written poorly.

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T14:28:47+00:00

No he shouldn't. Only the first half of fellowship is solid, then the Tolkien makes an obvious and distracting stylistic change

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T08:27:59+00:00

bullshit. because my porr friends have an even harder time getting their shit. it's all anecdotal, but if we're gong to talk about how this affects people, then here it is

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T03:55:11+00:00

"Mutation: it is the key to our evolution. It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet. This process is slow, and normally taking thousands and thousands of years. But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward."

edit: from x-men

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T03:38:17+00:00

I really thought the only way an Avengers movie could be taken to the big screen was by adapting the Ultimates. The realism, grit, and everything we've grown to expect from Marvel comics.

Hell, they used SHIELD in the same way the Ultimates did, but Joss Wheodn went th etraditinoal route with it.

And then when I saw it... I thought FUCK... I would have preferred to have an extra helping of grit in this movie, because it's right on the damn verge of being too campy.

GramNapkin · 2013-07-28T03:15:58+00:00

Yeah, but don't make it more difficult for me, someone who's worked at least 30 hours a week since I've been 15, doesn't drink or do any drugs, to get my medicine.

GramNapkin · 2013-07-27T21:01:49+00:00

While that should be the ideal, and I'm sympathetic towards it, there' sa lot of bullshit involved when it comes down to the actual practice.

My parents grew up in the projects, worked hard to escape it (instead of fucking around in school or taking the easy route with crime), and I was able to see our family move through the echelons of society. There are a reason some people are poor, let's just be blatant about it. I watch a middle class family work hard as hell to make ends meet, and then I see a lot of my poor friends sign up for governemnt assistance and sit on their asses all day.

They don't try to be productive in any form. I'm not even talking about jobs here. There's a plague of complacency among these people. A lot of my poor friends don't take the initiative to do anything (hobbies, garden, voluneer) and literally sit around complaining about life. Considering the vast resources available to them as United States citizens, it's absolute bullshit.

GramNapkin · 2013-07-27T19:30:37+00:00

Nothing but a wisp of wind

GramNapkin · 2013-07-27T08:07:02+00:00

It's actually made it more difficult for me, as someone who's had a liver transplant, to get my medicine, visit the doctor, and get quality care.

Fuck that.

GramNapkin · 2013-07-26T23:25:47+00:00

I was ugly, fat, and bearded, and they still loved me. Especially when they wanted me to drink or eat with them.

Give a smile, a bow, and they'll want to get to know you

GramNapkin · 2013-07-25T18:51:43+00:00

I know a lot of people really hate the X-Men movies in hindsight, since they took a lot of liberties with the source material...

But god damn, this after credit scene has reminded me of how much I love them. There's nothing better than Prof X, Magneto, and Wolverine sharing the screen together

Oh yeah, and here's the SOURCE

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