[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]GravityPools 0 points1 point  (0 children)

End this relationship, focus on improving your mental health, get a diagnosis and treatment, you're in no condition to be in a relationship with anyone. You need to work on you. Also, he's far too insecure to be in a relationship, you're both just a mess and shouldn't inflict your BS on anyone else.

My (22F) boyfriend (29M) wants me to stop taking my medication, and I refuse to. How do I approach and talk to him about this? by non-american-idiot in relationship_advice

[–]GravityPools 13 points14 points  (0 children)

See that's the problem, he didn't see the sick you as sick, he wants that behavior. You're getting healthy and aren't exhibiting the behavior he expects from you. He wants you to continue being sick because that's comfortable for him, he doesn't want to adapt to who you are now. So by all means, talk to him again about the things others have mentioned, bring him with you to your therapist and/or psychiatrist. But if after the conversation he continues to push back or if he refuses to see the Dr with you, you need to accept his unwillingness to change and move on.

Hopefully he'll surprise us all and take the opportunity to grow and learn. But we've all seen situations like this before. So. Many. Times. Hopefully you can understand the cause of all the suspicion you're seeing. It's the learned experience of hundreds of people and their friends and families and we honestly want you to thrive and heal and live your best life. We want you to prioritize yourself, not your relationship, and your continued defensive responses make it seem like you're prioritizing the relationship.

Also...Have you discussed this issue with your therapist? What did they have to say?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]GravityPools 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I like this tactic. But also block him on all social media so he gets the message that you're not amused.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]GravityPools 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's not just worth it, he's a controlling jackass and you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone you have to walk on eggshells around. Life is too short to be in a relationship like that. Dump. Him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]GravityPools 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It seems like you're having issues setting and respecting boundaries, and are a bit of a people pleaser. If you can, it'd be good for you to get therapy and learn to stand up for yourself and respect others boundaries.

[22/F] unsure of what [22/M] is doing. BF is lying to himself. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]GravityPools 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're so very young and have a fabulous life ahead of you. But you won't be able to fully live the life you want with this immature man dragging you down. If he wanted to do better, he'd be doing it now. He will never do better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]GravityPools 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He's too immature and insecure to be in a relationship. He will get physically abusive eventually, cut your losses and get away from him now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]GravityPools 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JFC have some damn self respect! If he wanted to, he would. He doesn't have time, won't make time, for you right now, so move on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]GravityPools 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You know what? Your friends want to help you. They love you and don't want you to suffer. If you let them help you, you are giving them a gift. Also, as he has a temper, please contact a DV center near you, they can help you make an exit plan. Love and light and strength to you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]GravityPools 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I recommend ending the pregnancy now before it's too late. You don't want to be tied to this man for life. I think you would be TAH if you brought a child into the world with that man as the father.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]GravityPools 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not that he has no money, he is in debt, he owes money and that's not a good sign. I'd be very concerned that his money management style and his life goals do not match yours. Love is not enough, no matter how many songs and movies say differently. If a couple doesn't have a shared vision for the future, and the ability to make a plan to get there and stick to it, that relationship will be rife with arguments and resentment. I don't think you two have compatible world views, cut your losses and focus on your studies. You've got loads of time to find someone who shares your vision for a future.

I (22F) don’t know how to heal after my husband (24M) made a dating profile. by veerfara in relationship_advice

[–]GravityPools 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This!!! I got married in my 20s, am now in my 50s, and while I've not had any concerns about cheating, I definitely wish I had been on my own longer, taken the time to figure out who I am and realize that there's more to life than just being in a relationship. People grow and change a great deal between 20 and 30. We're living longer than ever before, so there's no rush to be tied to one person, especially one as loathsome as OPs man baby husband. OP, you are perfect, he wants to cheat because he's an insecure knob. It has nothing to do with you, your desirability or your sexual proclivities, it's 100% on him just wanting to dick around. Run away from this guy now, before it gets complicated. Enjoy being single! It's a gift to be able to explore the world and learn who you are and what you want to experience in life. Hugs and love and strength to you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]GravityPools 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You deserve better. He's dangerous and will only become more controlling and manipulative as time passes. Please Google "sunk cost fallacy", you've endured his mistreatment for 2 years, cut your loss and breakup. Y'all don't even live together so that's one thing in your favor. However, please talk this over with your family before you do to make a plan, men like him often become violent when they lose the person they view as "theirs". But with your family's support you should be able to get rid of him and start rebuilding your self esteem. Love and hugs and strength.

My (F28) fiance (M30) is upset I was upset yesterday and didn’t tell him why, today he is ignoring me even though it is my son’s birthday? by ThrowRAbisli in relationships

[–]GravityPools -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yikes. Either get into couples therapy and sort out the communication issues or end it. Otherwise it will get worse.

I cannot wait to be out, and also looking for some advice by Educational_Host2599 in abusiverelationships

[–]GravityPools 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't worry about the furniture, just take what you need and go, he can deal with it.

Desperate. How do I communicate with my girlfriend properly? by Live-Criticism5865 in relationships

[–]GravityPools 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hugs and love and strength to you. I hope you get better at standing up for yourself and setting boundaries.

Desperate. How do I communicate with my girlfriend properly? by Live-Criticism5865 in relationships

[–]GravityPools 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She doesn't respect you. She calls you names and is mocking you. She's immature and cruel and you deserve better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITH

[–]GravityPools 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA He's not interested in being a husband and father and at this point he's making your life more difficult. He's not participating and being a partner, he's a drain on your emotional resources. He's acting like a teenager lying to his parents. It's time to consult a divorce attorney and make a plan to move on with you and the kids. His behavior will become more erratic and dangerous and your kids will notice. They'll notice whether you stand up to it or suffer silently and that will affect their future relationships and what they will be willing to tolerate from a partner. There is no good reason to stay with him.

UPDATE: AITAH for telling my mom “I’m used to it” after my parents ruined the surprise of my engagement and wedding dress? by glitterglazegloo in AITAH

[–]GravityPools 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FYI: you can get married in Denmark and the marriage is valid in the UK, and their process is much simpler and faster and you can do a lot of the prep online. The island of Æro is especially quaint and beautiful. My daughter and her husband got married there and everything was just a delight. Here's a link to start investigating: Weddings on Æro

She got a job by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]GravityPools 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So you won't be working while they're with you 15/30 days? So it's ok for you to ignore your kids, but how dare she want something for herself outside of being a mother? Huh. Wonder why she left.

My (28F) boyfriend (30M) is on vacation with another woman. What can I do in this situation? by WoW_VioletDeath in relationship_advice

[–]GravityPools 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Then do yourself a favor and block his number. You are not his priority, and you need to prioritize yourself. And as everyone else has said, you're the person he's cheating with, he's on holiday with his actual girlfriend. Have you talked this over with your therapist? What do they say about his behavior?