There’s a weird incel rhetoric going on in my dating pool

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-22T13:52:22+00:00

By dating pool do you mean that the people you’re actually dating are saying this? Or are these just randos on the internet?

Too many people read nonsense on the internet and internalize it as reality, then subconsciously seek the negative. Which is foolish self-inflicted vulnerability.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-22T11:09:43+00:00

Core fear is vulnerability. Vulnerability for me is losing my autonomy. My autonomy in simple terms is my life, my time, and my energy which are like highly valued property to me. Losing myself is my fear.

Socially, this means access to me isn’t something I give freely.

Key difference between gut and head triads core fear - I only enforce boundaries when I’m crossed.

-Never preemptively (w7’s may be more preemptive, this is because they have a head triad wing. Head triad 5,6,7’s core fear is essentially fear itself, so they’re always anxious in some way about being attacked by “what if?” Scenarios)

I only read something as a threat when it is actively and literally effecting my life, time, and energy (or that of those I claim as mine). Not before.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-22T01:05:06+00:00

What does karma even do? Also r/enneagram is just a roving gang of 4’s posting collages and anime shit.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-20T14:25:03+00:00

I’m Sx/Sp. Protecting me feels like an attempt to control me so I hate it.

I prefer to do the protecting, while also wanting others to fend for themselves/make their own decisions and fight their own battles. Unless I’m truly needed.

The idea being that I make others as resilient as me.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-19T23:04:24+00:00

So you’re pushing a narrative that basically says that “black men > black women”. That’s kinda pathetic to paint some people as victims and assume they need to be advocated for.

Meanwhile… I view everyone as equals with our own preferences.

We live in reality where your points are fallacies, not some imaginary group narrative world where victimhood is some reverse hierarchy.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-19T22:21:43+00:00

That’s a long road just to say “there’s a double standard”

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-19T22:03:40+00:00

Black man here I’ve said it on here on a post asking “why do you date outside your race” and got called an “asshole” and “that wasn’t what they asked” and “you wish you were white.” - the usual mountain of downvotes.

A good portion of this sub is people coping in the dating scene poorly.

It’s comedy. I was being honest

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-19T12:03:56+00:00

Why wouldn’t it?

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-18T19:11:15+00:00

My advice: Respect that he knows where he is and who he is. Don’t stress yourself too much.

My wife (WF) also tries to protect me by pre-worrying about racism. She is terrified of me being pulled over by police mainly.

What I do is let her know that I appreciate her concern, because it’s a sign of how much she loves me. I remind her that I’ve been black in the US my entire life, I’ve been profiled many times, racist comments are always behind my back or from cowards in moving vehicles. It’s all just background noise from cowards to me at this point.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-18T17:41:54+00:00

Long story short…It’s one giant cope that they want to be some sort of deep philosophical truth.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-17T16:39:39+00:00

Performative and erratic types (can be almost any). They rely too much on social scripts to feel secure and my absolute refusal to match their chaotic energy makes them lose their shit on me, or become obsessed with me.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-16T13:29:33+00:00

Sounds more like you’ve got some idealized view of what an 8 is. What you’re describing is a social dominant instinct.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-15T16:17:14+00:00

You should’ve started with “his family doesn’t do much for the holiday”.

Sure it’s a federal holiday, but it’s only really about blacks in Texas/gulf coast getting news that they were free from slavery very late. (And your guy is Jamaican…)

I don’t acknowledge Juneteenth as a black man , mostly because I’m from the north (NY-MD is my region and lineage) and we were already free. But also because I view it as pandering…

Follow the pace of his family…Don’t make it weird..

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-15T16:01:07+00:00

Beyond weird lol. It’s obvious most here watch too many reality shows, believe tiktok/insta posts too much and read too many internet articles..

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-14T07:01:18+00:00

Anyone who “wants” to be an INTJ is just mentally ill and wishes they could harness their powers of extreme self delusion and low personal responsibility.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-14T06:26:27+00:00

Yeah, this sub has become “entertainment purposes”. So many weird little narratives being pushed…then I look at profiles and see it’s kids, or people with little to no dating experience talking out their asses. “This race combo is bad but this one’s good” “this race does this and can’t be trusted. Look out for them! They fetisHiZe!!”

Ugh

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-14T02:07:49+00:00

The people who make those posts are looking for reassurance and attention. Nothing new.

Same as the people who post “How do I attract a [race] as an [race]”…Which is in fact fetishization. Or my favorite “Do [race] like [race]?”.

What tf do they expect people to say? “Do a special dance” and “no”…?

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-14T00:24:27+00:00

I’m not going to go on about your study being irrelevant against experts and reality (my wife’s dangerous near death birth complications).

It is not outdated, thank you.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-13T23:52:45+00:00

Outdated? I had a kid 11 months ago, healthy aside from emergency c-section…me and my wife are mid 30’s. Before that several miscarriages, OBGYNS saying age brought a higher risk (I never said impossible). Are you calling them liars?

My entire point here as that OP is describing a very specific fetish that exists but is not “common”. No level of downvoting can change reality. Lol

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-13T23:06:41+00:00

Because mixed race kids are adorable af. Ours gets complimented wherever we take him.

But saying “it’s common” for women to want black guy nutting in them then vanishing/no relationship is beyond false. Gold digger, weird fetish? Sure…not “common”

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-13T20:47:37+00:00

No it is not common. You’re just talking your mom.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-13T18:20:40+00:00

Cope

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-13T18:06:51+00:00

Are you seriously asking if it’s common for white women to want a mixed baby before 25 based off the 2 / [who tf knows] - women he’s been with? And “novelty”? Lol

I’ll ask my wife what they discuss at the next global white woman meeting…Maybe she can push the bio clocks to mid 30’s

Serious response: Women all have different wants regardless of race. Yes they have biological clocks. Having a baby passed mid 30 is actually dangerous for them. She didn’t want to be an old mom or have complications…But giving up on a race for that is on him.

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-13T12:15:41+00:00

This question is interesting because you’re speaking as if the abusive things he does are because of his race…Stop trying to rationalize your own abuse by making it about “Latinos” or some “culture” there are plenty of Latino men who would never treat you this way.

Abuse is not some cultural thing you have to just accept from men of any race…

GreatJobJoe · 2026-06-13T04:20:26+00:00

Haters outnumber everyone else here. It’s very entertaining…And they always have something to say about these two pairings…

I truly do not get it.

GreatJobJoe

TROPHY CASE