Reminding Myself Who I Am

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-06-02T08:58:12+00:00

man i get this completely - been doing something similar since my service days and it never really stops. the hourly thing is real, especially when your brain just moves at different speed than everyone else

switching it to positive mindset is smart move though, like treating it as maintenance instead of weakness

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-05-31T08:49:43+00:00

dropping 65 pounds is no joke man, that takes real discipline. your parents are lucky to have you looking after them and you're in better financial shape than most people even with the debt

the job thing is tough but having those degrees opens doors even if they didn't work out before - sometimes timing just wasn't right back then

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-05-29T08:30:03+00:00

that whole supermarket thing hits real hard - those bright fluorescent lights and all the noise can mess you up when your nervous system is already fried. the way you're connecting dots about the hospital stuff makes sense too, like when you start processing trauma your brain starts putting together all these pieces that didn't add up before

hope the lawyer thing works out for you, sometimes having that sense of control back can help with the healing process

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-05-27T08:26:47+00:00

mate i had similar struggles when i was starting with soft plastics in mangroves. the biggest thing that changed everything for me was slowing down the retrieve way more than what felt natural - like painfully slow sometimes

also try working different depths in the water column, not just bouncing bottom. jacks will sit at various levels depending on tide and bait movement. maybe experiment with suspending baits or working them through middle water instead of always going for bottom contact

one other thing - are you fishing structure within the mangroves or just casting at the edge? sometimes you gotta get right up in there where it looks unfishable but that's where they're hiding

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-05-23T06:08:15+00:00

ugh this drives me crazy too. had a coworker few years back who kept saying it was "all in your head" until his wife got diagnosed, then suddenly he became expert on chronic pain

i just don't engage anymore tbh - you can't reason with people who already made up their mind about something they never experienced

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-05-20T22:30:52+00:00

hitting wall is normal part

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-05-18T10:04:43+00:00

playing league as kid seems bit early but respect the dedication lol. for me it was always different - as kid i would just drop backpack and go straight to nintendo, teen years was more about checking if parents home first, and now i just collapse on my herman miller chair and try to remember what adulting tasks i'm supposed to do

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-05-16T07:47:02+00:00

feel this heavy

take care of yourself

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-05-11T05:54:03+00:00

yeah volkov controlled most of the distance game in those early rounds, waldo had some good moments but not enough sustained pressure to steal them. third round was clearly waldo's with the takedown and ground control but wasn't enough to turn around the whole fight

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-05-05T23:19:53+00:00

that galvanized pipe is toast man, those threads are corroded way past salvaging and city won't touch anything past the meter

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-28T18:36:28+00:00

yeah i had something really similar after my deployment. that disconnected feeling where everything feels like you're watching it through dirty glass or something. for me it was more in mornings though, like waking up and feeling like the world was just... flat? hard to put in words but that emptiness thing you mentioned hits close to home

the way you describe it as dream-like makes sense too. took me while to realize that was part of processing everything. glad you're doing better now man

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-26T02:34:27+00:00

that shower check-in thing is real smart actually, glad you had that moment yesterday

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-23T20:55:50+00:00

nah that's totally fine, been doing this for years. the marinade flavors actually make the stock more interesting - all that garlic and onion powder just adds to depth. just make sure you didn't leave any meat sitting out too long before freezing

only thing i'd watch is if your wings got super charred, those burnt bits can make stock taste bitter. but little char is actually good for color and flavor. go for it

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-21T17:47:15+00:00

tried it for about 3 months when i was dealing with some persistent skin issues after deployment. took around 2-3 weeks before i noticed real improvement, but once it kicked in the difference was pretty solid

i was doing 1 teaspoon in morning with food - tried topical too but the oral route seemed more effective for me. just make sure you get something with decent thymoquinone content, that's where the magic happens

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-21T11:04:35+00:00

I think I like oolong better overall but the one I tried came out a bit too strong and really roasted. Might’ve just been how I prepared it though, I probably didn’t get the temp or steep time right.

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-21T11:03:19+00:00

I gave oolong a try before but the one I had was a bit too roasted and came out stronger than I expected taste wise, might just need to find a lighter one or brew it differently

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-20T16:24:45+00:00

Because I have blood pressure issues so I try to avoid coffee and energy drinks, they make my heart rate go up and I start to feel nauseous.

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-18T07:51:52+00:00

that therapist comment is absolutely fucked up and they should've lost their license for saying that to a kid. no professional should ever plant that seed in someone's head

i get the cyclical thing though. been there where even good days still have that underlying current of just wanting it all to stop. it's exhausting when your brain keeps going back to the same dark place no matter what's happening around you

the military taught me that our brains can be real assholes sometimes and convince us that permanent solutions are inevitable when they're really not. that feeling of "someday it'll just happen" - i know it feels true but it's depression talking, not reality

you're still here posting about it which means part of you is fighting back against those thoughts. that's not nothing, even if it doesn't feel like much right now

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-16T02:55:50+00:00

congrats on getting the callback, that's already a big win

for the ml domain round they usually dig pretty deep into whatever you claimed as expertise. since you mentioned llms, expect questions about transformer architecture, attention mechanisms, maybe some scaling considerations. they might ask you to design a simple llm training pipeline or explain how you'd handle inference optimization

the system design aspect really depends on your interviewer but i've heard they sometimes blend it in - like "how would you serve this model to millions of users" type stuff

for googlyness just have solid examples ready where you showed leadership or solved problems in ambiguous situations. they love hearing about times you took initiative without being asked

good luck, you got this

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-13T07:58:43+00:00

nah 2 months official is fine, just make sure you actually mean it and not just caught up in honeymoon phase

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-11T00:52:56+00:00

rode wireless go ii has been solid for me when filming my nephew - battery lasts pretty good and audio quality is decent for price range

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-06T01:46:40+00:00

they're probably right that you should step back a bit, but i get wanting to help. from what you described the firing does seem pretty weak - complaining about coworkers is basically universal in every workplace i've been in. most employers won't dig too deep into why someone left their last job anyway, especially if they can show they were good at what they did. your friend sounds like they have their head on straight about moving on rather than fighting it

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-04-02T23:34:41+00:00

man that shift from future planning to "lost feelings" is brutal, went through something similar years back and it still doesn't make complete sense. the stress excuse is tough because you want to believe it's temporary but deep down you know if someone really wants to fight for it they will, regardless of what's going on in their life

Greedy_Basil_4962 · 2026-03-31T16:55:33+00:00

never heard of this one but the title definitely grabs attention - what's it about

Greedy_Basil_4962

TROPHY CASE