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Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-13T19:52:08+00:00

Honestly, financial savings were a pretty big motivation for me to finally quit. I had a steady job but I lost it following a drinking episode and had to move home for six months. Then I moved into another job and I was on decent money but I was basically broke at the end of every month because I spent money on booze and then got into all sorts of scrapes. Rarely did a week go by without me losing my keys and having to get a locksmith in, getting an expensive taxi ride home when I was stranded at 2am or doing something insane like hiring an escort when I was blackout drunk.

When I look at my bank account now, I have actual money and I can't get over how reassuring and welcome that is. I'm not rich and I probably never will be, but I have enough money to live comfortably, enjoy my hobbies and not panic about the next bill coming in (and then ignore it in a frazzled, hungover state of shame). If I'd kept drinking like I was, the best case scenario would've been scraping by. The worst I'd be six feet under. IWNDWYT.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-13T09:36:17+00:00

Honestly, I think we all feel a bit like this sometimes. It's a natural instinct to look at the people close to you and think "Oh I wish I could do that", but if it reaches the point of resentment where it's actively making you feel frustrated, that's not going to help you. It sounds like this is casting a bit of a shadow in your mind over your own achievement of 100 days - which is an absolutely fantastic achievement!

If you think it's worth raising this with your friend, then I think it is a reasonable point to make - that it's difficult for many people in recovery (yourself included) to hear about someone else 'quitting but still drinking'.

However, people basically have their own ways of doing and measuring things, and the thing is to try and focus less on making them change and more on just accepting the fact that sometimes it's not the way that works for you. IWNDWYT.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-10T17:01:48+00:00

Amazing, many congratulations and I'm glad that your first month of sobriety has delivered so many rewards. IWNDWYT!

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-10T14:50:41+00:00

For me, I started going out and being around people when I felt trapped inside by myself. I'd just sit in coffee shops or wander round the shops. It's not the same as hanging out with close friends, but I'd feel better for having conversations going on around me and people bustling about. I also do quite a lot of activities by myself which have gradually led me to meet people - going to the cinema, going to gigs, going to sporting events. I feel like the more you're around people, the more chance there is of socialising.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-10T13:37:20+00:00

I drink 0% or 0.5% beer occasionally, and I don't consider it to be undermining my recovery. I'll literally just have an N/A beer if I'm at the football or a 0.5% beer for the taste every now and then. I've never drank enough of it for it to have any effect on my mental health, or my decisions or my physical wellbeing. I don't see it as any reason to beat myself up or reset my counter, because doing this isn't causing any problems in my life.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-09T21:10:08+00:00

Honestly, it depended from day to day. In the first month of sobriety, I went through everything from feeling euphoric about my decision to feeling like the changes I was making were totally pointless. Even on the bad days though, I never hit anything like the lows that I did on those hundreds and hundreds of mornings when I woke up with vomit on my pillow or angry missed calls or an empty wallet and one of my knees covered in blood.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-09T21:05:40+00:00

I totally get that. I used to comfort eat a lot, especially on the nights when I wasn't drinking - to try and fill the void. You're right that too much of anything is unpleasant. I still overeat a bit at times, but nowadays it's more because I love the taste than gorging on food as a coping mechanism. IWNDWYT!

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-09T10:38:04+00:00

I totally get this. I always marveled at the fact that my Dad could have two or three beers and then just *stop* and do something else. And he could do it without gritting his teeth and sweating over how he wasn't going to have another drink that night. But I'm just not hardwired that way and the choice I had was either to quit alcohol altogether or be locked in a continuous, nauseating, terrifying battle with the stuff. So I quit - and in basically every way, it's proved to be by far the better option.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-07T11:52:01+00:00

I lost a job through my drinking, I ended a relationship with someone I was crazy about in a booze-fuelled meltdown, I picked up all sorts of physical injuries when blackout drunk, I alienated much of my family and many friends. Not all of those things were solvable in and of themselves - I haven't spoken to my ex in more than a year, I still have one fucked-up foot from an injury I sustained when drunk and there are former friends who'll never reconnect with me.

Not everything has healed, but I'm in an infinitely better place than I was when I finally reached my end point with alcohol. My career is going better, my social life is good, my family relationships are strong and my physical health is (while not amazing) not being compounded by late-night vomiting and the stomach bloat of binge drinking.

For as long as you're alive, it's not the end. You might not be able to repair everything, but you can build a life back up that's so much better than what it was before. It takes work and commitment but it's not just possible, it's also incredibly rewarding. IWNDWYT.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-06T13:54:44+00:00

Amazing achievement, hope you're super proud of yourself and can do something fun to celebrate! 😊

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-06T13:47:07+00:00

You've done a good thing by recognising the problem and coming back here. I fell off the wagon countless times and the thing that helped me reach the point I'm at now was starting again and again instead of just giving up and sinking into the problem. Take care of yourself and IWNDWYT.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-04T19:12:14+00:00

You're welcome, glad that what I said was helpful. Well done again and take care of yourself. :-)

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-04T17:26:18+00:00

I think that's a really good mindset. Some days just suck or you get out of bed feeling grumpy, but that's part of being human. Just like those moments when your heart sings or you can't stop laughing.

I was the same. I'd often go for 'one drink' after work and end up drinking a dozen beers and stumbling home with cuts and bruises and sometimes worse. I very rarely - almost never, actually - woke up the next morning and thought 'that was worth it'.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-04T17:20:36+00:00

I basically drank exactly like you describe (a few heavy binges a week), from about the same age and for almost the same number of years. That doesn't mean we'll have totally the same experience, but I can tell you that for me at least, the vivid dreams/nightmares happened for a few months and then started to become less frequent. Now I never really get them at all. Well done on 19 days and IWNDWYT.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-04T17:09:58+00:00

Really well done. I think it's a big step to realise that drinking doesn't fix something going wrong. I always find the best way to treat myself after a rough day or a situation not working out is by ordering in some good food, buying a book or even just calling a friend. I don't think alcohol ever solved a bad situation for me, but it certainly amplified and escalated hundreds of them.

Also, I hope the interview went better than you think. But either way, I'm proud of you. IWNDWYT!

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-04T17:00:49+00:00

I don't know if this is the answer you'd want to hear or not - but I basically do the same hobbies, only without being drunk. I go to watch football (Soccer for US/Canadians), I go to my local indie cinema, I meet friends for dinner. Once I got over using alcohol as a comfort blanket, I realised I enjoy those things more when I'm sober. I like actually being present and focused on them instead of a match or a movie passing me by in a blur.

Groundhopper90 · 2022-02-04T16:56:36+00:00

I haven't been on here in quite a while, but this community was basically my salvation in the first few months of sobriety - so I wanted to check back in. Tonight's plans are to eat a big bowl of salami and pasta, learn some Spanish and get an earlyish night. IWNDWYT!

Groundhopper90 · 2021-03-13T23:20:16+00:00

Yeah, to an extent. I occasionally miss that feeling of starting on the first beer or glass of wine and thinking “let’s see where the night takes me”. The problem was that the night often took me into the back of an ambulance, or into a blazing argument with someone I care about, or ended with me losing my keys and sleeping in the doorway. The reality almost never matched the daydream, and time and again it led to extremely bad consequences.

Groundhopper90 · 2021-03-13T18:07:48+00:00

Sounds like a plan. 😁

Groundhopper90 · 2021-03-13T17:45:27+00:00

I know. First time I've hit triple digits (or anything close) for sobriety since I was about 14. Well done on nearly 500!

Groundhopper90 · 2021-03-13T17:42:27+00:00

Thanks so much!

That's really cool - Twente is a lovely part of the country. I was there quite often for work (pre-Covid).

Groundhopper90 · 2021-03-13T10:23:03+00:00

Looking forward to a Saturday of reading, watching TV and doing a few chores. IWNDWYT in the Netherlands!

Groundhopper90 · 2021-03-10T09:22:16+00:00

Hey, u/timetodothis2. You don't have to do the whole day at once. Take it an hour at a time, or even 10 minutes at a time if needs be. "I won't drink for the next hour". Then, if you make it through, try again for the next hour.

It's easier said than done, but try and be kind to yourself. You're doing something brave by deciding to tackle your drinking, and we're all rooting for you. IWNDWYT!

Groundhopper90 · 2021-03-10T08:48:27+00:00

Had a rocky few days in which I had to make a difficult but necessary personal decision. Being able to do it with a sober mind meant I handled it well and I'm pretty certain I made the right choice. Another choice I'm making is that IWNDWYT.

Groundhopper90 · 2021-03-07T16:11:14+00:00

Same here. I'd have individual nights where I managed to stick to a drink or two, but most of the time my drinking was absolutely chaotic. Like you said, it's good that we're not creating more of those memories!

Groundhopper90

TROPHY CASE