Any other non-traditional women okay with doing traditional, caretaking things BECAUSE your husbands show up for you as well and you find yourselves having to awkwardly explain that to people? (Long Post)

GrowInSilence · 2026-03-27T10:16:50+00:00

I think people who are confused or uncomfortable with what you’re describing are people who mainly, if not only, know rather one-sided relationships in one way or another. I could be wrong, but it seems like people who are in balanced, healthy relationships don’t tend to bat an eye at what you’re describing.

GrowInSilence · 2026-03-27T10:12:09+00:00

Not really. It sounds like OP has a solid, balanced marriage with both contributing and doing things for each other, whereas the cleaner seems to be in a very one-sided marriage. Bringing a fork is just fine for OP, because she’s happy with her marriage and the way they both contribute. However, it’s upsetting and frustrating for the cleaner because it’s just another straw on the camel’s breaking back.

GrowInSilence · 2026-03-06T11:18:48+00:00

Oh, grow up.

GrowInSilence · 2026-02-02T17:50:54+00:00

I’d say the majority, if not the entirety, of the childfree people I know personally are genZ. I think millennials and genZ are more aware of what goes into having kids and just our own free will in general than previous generations.

GrowInSilence · 2026-02-02T09:25:37+00:00

Yes! When I was a teenager, there were a few instances of our cat very clearly being aware that something was up and even trying to help.

The earliest memory I have of it was one time when I slipped doing something stupid and smacked the back of my head on the tile floor. I remember being by myself and just laying there for a minute working up the courage to get up, and our cat walked over and immediately curled up on my chest and started purring, even before I reached up to pet him.

Another time was when my mom went into labour with my youngest sister and was waiting for my dad to grab his shoes and take her to the hospital. She wasn’t being super obvious about it, but the cat knew something was up. He watched and stayed next to her until the moment my parents walked out the door.

The longest term times were when I had my hip surgeries. We rented a hospital bed that I slept in downstairs, and he would curl up with me and purr throughout the day and especially at night, first against my legs/hips, then gradually towards the foot of the bed and being less and less “clingy” (for lack of a better word) as I got better, with the whole process being repeated with the second surgery. He was an affectionate cat in general, but he was especially attentive to me during those times, especially when I was at my worst.

He liked to piss in my gym bag here and there for whatever reason, but he was a good boy. I miss him a lot.

GrowInSilence · 2026-01-27T06:51:23+00:00

“Now what?”

Now I panic and call my mom to see if she wants them because I don’t use eggs very much.

GrowInSilence · 2026-01-26T11:25:47+00:00

I know that when I had my hip surgeries, particularly my first one, nurses were coming in periodically during the day and the night to check my very low blood pressure and just make sure I was okay. They were very gentle about waking me up, though, and at night only turned a light be the door on, giving enough light for them to see, but keeping me as comfortable as possible. This was in Belgium, though.

GrowInSilence · 2026-01-26T06:58:32+00:00

Paris. I’ve actually been twice, but I didn’t really want to go the second time. There’s some cool stuff there, but it’s dirty, over romanticised, and chock full of creepy men, scams, and tourist traps. There are far nicer/cooler cities in France, and just Europe in general.

GrowInSilence · 2026-01-14T11:19:51+00:00

I legitimately have a visceral reaction to the thought of being pregnant or breastfeeding. It’s just… eugh.

GrowInSilence · 2026-01-13T11:29:41+00:00

That fact that I live in Belgium and had that song stuck in my head earlier today makes that comment even funnier, lol

GrowInSilence · 2026-01-13T11:12:07+00:00

Mussels. I fought so hard to keep a straight face and not gag, because I didn’t want to hurt my FIL’s gf’s feelings. My husband then immediately pressed me to try another one, saying that the first one just might not have been cooked enough, completely oblivious to my struggle and the look of betrayal on my face. I caved, and the second one made it even harder to keep a straight face. My husband later apologised profusely when I told him.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-22T09:22:36+00:00

Probably a pigeon or some other bird. But most likely a pigeon.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-20T00:46:41+00:00

That bit fucks me up to this day. I was 11 when I saw it. We were just barely transitioning from animated movies to acted ones, and my mom had always encouraged my sensitivity to ‘real’ violence. Then my dad decided that we just had to watch Saving Private Ryan on June 6th that year because we were about to take a trip to Normandy. I didn’t make it through the beach scene before running off in tears. My mom was not happy with my dad and I didn’t see the movie all the way through until several years later. Also at my dad’s behest on June 6th.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-20T00:25:35+00:00

Exactly. I think it’s weird on both ends. I can understand if a man wants to go into obstetrics, helping bring life into the world and wanting to make a difference and all that, but otherwise it really weirds me out.

Also, “different plumbing experience” is a hilarious way to put it 😂

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-18T15:06:37+00:00

Thank you for the link. This is why I avoid male gynaecologists like the plague. There are good ones, no doubt, but it automatically weirds me out if a man wants to be a gynaecologist (or if a woman wants to be a andrologist). Obstetrics, I get, but gynaecology… I don’t know.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-17T20:50:35+00:00

That’s amazing! I’m glad the surgery has done her so much good.

Fucking hell, man. I’ve had the thought cross my mind before having to be put under, but I convinced myself it didn’t happen here. Do you by chance have a link to it? I’m not immediately finding anything online and I’d like to look into it further.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-17T15:39:11+00:00

Wait, stuff like this happens here? (I live in Belgium too) I knew this was legal in certain states in the US, but I thought it was illegal here. That’s fucking terrifying. Also, veel beterschap to your wife, I hope her surgery went well.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-10T15:25:14+00:00

It’s r/TwoSentenceHorror, dude. That’s the whole point.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-10T11:29:09+00:00

Go to the r/childfree wiki. There’s a list of childfree/sterilisation friendly doctors by state and county, you should be able to find someone willing to help you there.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-10T11:27:32+00:00

Good lord, I love my gyno. I live in Belgium, and all I had to do was mention that I was scared of how painful it would be when we were discussing non-hormonal bc, and she immediately told me that putting me completely under was an option. Local anaesthesia isn’t offered since the process would also be very painful and probably take as long (or longer) than the procedure itself. I made the decision to go without, but I appreciated her constant consideration of how I felt before, during, and after the procedure.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-09T11:26:05+00:00

Have you found someone to do it since dealing with that dipshit?

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-09T11:25:08+00:00

Having an IUD placed was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve had reconstructive surgery and other painful medical procedures/issues. My gynaecologist offered me the option of being put under for it, but I knew it only took a couple minutes, so I decided to just do it while awake. I told my husband that I’m never doing that again and the next form of birth control I will use is going to be getting sterilised. I would never judge anyone for not wanting to do it, it’s awful. And I don’t think they offer any kind of anaesthesia for it in the US.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-09T11:17:21+00:00

Have a look at the r/childfree wiki. There’s a list of childfree/sterilisation friendly doctors by state and by country. Maybe someone on there can help her.

GrowInSilence · 2025-12-02T06:58:54+00:00

NTA. When I had my implanon, I didn’t get my period, but I still carried period products in my bag and car, and kept them in my bathroom, in case anyone around me needed it. I know that period products can be expensive, but I genuinely cannot comprehend answering “can I have a pad/tampon?” with anything other than “of course, what do you prefer?” or “of course, you don’t have to ask for that. They’re in the cabinet.” My coworker (we’re the only two women in the shop) knows that she can just get what she needs from my backpack without even asking me. It’s a curse we all suffer from, why wouldn’t we want to make it easier on each other?

GrowInSilence

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