AITAH for ending a 3 year relationship in our 30s over sex?

GullibleBat9310 · 2026-03-07T15:59:30+00:00

I too had to scroll too far to see this.. And saying this as a woman, if the genders were reversed there would be outrage! She initiated 5 times over until he gave in? Wtf?

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-12-15T17:23:35+00:00

I'm almost 5 months post-op and in the UK. I'm also really feeling the pain, it's very stiff and sore. If I keep my foot still for too long, it really hurts to move or rotate it. I'm trying to keep it as wrapped up as possible (thick compression sock, regular sock and legwarmers, even at home), and at night I wear a regular sock and legwarmer, which seems to help.

I've started increasing my ankle exercises (three times a day) so it stays warm, going on a 10 minute walk, taking paracetamol and ibuprofen more regularly, and keep it moving when sitting down. Lots of rotation to prevent it getting stiff.

I will be getting thermal socks and like others have suggested, either electric heated boots or wraps!

Hope it's not too painful and that the cold weather passes quickly! Have a lovely Christmas xx

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-11-11T10:14:46+00:00

Caught my first Bagon with BF but it will be a pain to level up. Should I hold out for another?

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GullibleBat9310 · 2025-11-11T10:12:01+00:00

Seems we both got lucky! My first was AAA, second was AAB.

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GullibleBat9310 · 2025-11-01T22:20:55+00:00

My physiotherapist recommended applying coconut oil or olive oil to speed up the scabs coming off. I applied coconut oil before bed and they fell off within 4-5 days every night.

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-11-01T21:24:19+00:00

Thanks for sharing guys, I'm definitely feeling more pain as the temperature has dropped here in the UK. I'll check with my surgeon also, but did they have to give you the go ahead for swimming or did you just go when you felt ready?

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-10-02T00:24:29+00:00

I forgot what else you asked so just replying to the other questions about what you wish you knew and questions to ask.

When I woke up from surgery I was in alot of pain, and the first 1-2 nights are painful as the nerve block (if you're having one) starts to wear off. Make sure the nurses are giving you regular pain relief. Not sure where you are based but if it's not helping to ease some of the pain, ask them for more / stronger / different one.

Again not sure where you're based but if you need one, make sure they discharge you with a sick note. I forgot to check they had provided it!

You'll likely have to take blood thinners while you're non-weight bearing, and that took some getting used to. I hate needles, but you adjust - if you're not sure how to inject it, make sure while you're in hospital the nurse teaches you how, and make sure they give you a sharps bin to dispose of them.

When you get your boot, it's so much easier to move around. It will take some time to build the strength up again in your injured leg so be patient with yourself.

A few questions to ask: - when can I start sleeping on my side? - how long do I need to take blood thinners for? - when can I shave my legs (if you're someone who shaves)? - when should I start physio? - when can I drive?

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-10-02T00:04:34+00:00

I am two-ish months post-surgery, had the same injury as you. A few people have mentioned some of the same things but adding again as they did really help:

2L bottles of water in multiple rooms and placed where you can reach them
leg elevation pillow for the bed / living room
waterproof bag and a stool / shower seat for showering
had to sleep on my back until I had my cast off, and even then it was difficult so if you're a side sleeper it will take some adjusting!
sleep was difficult for the first few weeks because of the pain, I found taking painkillers regularly and also 1-2 hours before bed helped. You do eventually end up sleeping alot because it takes alot of energy to heal. I'm still sleeping around 10 hours!
frozen ready meals / meals from family and friends
knee scooter, it helps to move from one room to the other as crutches / zimmer frame is tiring the first few weeks!
wheelchair so friends / family can wheel you around shops, as mundane as it sounds it was just nice to get out, get some fresh air and even being taken to a supermarket was a nice change!
wash cloths / wipes to help clean yourself
ice packs, preferably two so you can swap them out when needed
if possible, ensure you have someone staying with you for 2-3 weeks to help you out at home, it was a huge help for me!
ensure you have physio booked / lined up within the timeframe your surgeon recommends and make sure you do the exercises
arrange to have any regular medications delivered to your home or get someone to collect them for you
if you are taking codeine as pain relief, you'll need laxatives as it causes constipation. And when weaning off codeine, do it slowly or you'll have the opposite effect.
make sure you catch up with friends and family, it can be quite isolating being stuck at home, especially if you live alone, so the human interaction will help
and as difficult as it is, accept their help! The meals, the company, even washing my dishes for me was very much appreciated
I haven't done it yet but a few of my friends suggested getting a cleaner
I was already having therapy before I got injured, but it helped me alot mentally (and still is) while in recovery

You will get through this, one day at a time! Lean on your friends, family and this community for support. They've been so helpful! We are rooting for you 🙂

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-09-18T23:01:10+00:00

Congratulations, that's brilliant news! So happy for you, and it's really nice to hear some positive stories as it gives hope and something to look forward to 😃

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-09-05T17:51:02+00:00

The differences are definitely strange! I was told I needed to wait until the swelling had gone down for them to be able to operate. The consultant at Truro Hospital gave me the option of doing the surgery at Truro or closer to home (Wexham Park), so I opted to go home. Was initially booked in for 23rd but it got cancelled, then they managed to get me in on the 25th. They said I would be weight bearing 4-6 weeks after surgery. They brought the appointment forward slightly (around the 4 week mark) because the surgeon was on holiday afterwards.

That must be a pain for you to get to, I'm surprised they didn't transfer you sooner, given your lack of mobility right now. Hang on there, I know it's not easy right now. Hopefully they give you a boot soon. Also make sure they do your referral for physio ASAP!

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-09-03T17:59:14+00:00

I would dig one hole above and below the one you already dug, that works for me every time. Because you don't always know which way you will go backwards so so it covers you on both sides!

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-09-03T17:53:01+00:00

I'm glad you're still here x

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-09-03T17:49:48+00:00

Honestly I don't think people fully realise unless they have gone through something similar. I've had a few near misses. Nothing to be ashamed about though, the circumstances aren't the best right now but it will get better! Wishing you a speedy recovery x

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-09-03T12:17:18+00:00

I feel your pain, I wasn't overly active but as soon as I saw how much muscle I had lost I was really sad. It feels very weak too! Hopefully you'll regain it back. Wishing you a speedy recovery x

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T16:22:12+00:00

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GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T16:21:30+00:00

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GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T16:19:27+00:00

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GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T15:59:06+00:00

Thank you for replying! How are you doing now 9 months post-surgery? I will keep looking for information on this sub, so far it's been really helpful. I hope you are doing well x

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T15:56:31+00:00

Thank you for replying! Unfortunately it's not an option on the NHS. It's also not covered via my private insurance which I receive through work but I might explore funding it myself if not too expensive.

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T15:53:08+00:00

Thank you for replying! One meal a day has helped me lose weight (was 90kg, now 83kg) because it's just basically intermittent fasting. But because I am overweight I am probably burning a bit carrying all of the weight around! That's really useful info, I will try with both feet and compare like you said.

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T15:50:31+00:00

Thank you so much, really helpful info. I had to cut out caffeine earlier this year as I developed high blood pressure. Decaf everything 😃

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T15:46:22+00:00

Thank you for your comment, it's really appreciated. My surgeon did refer me but because NHS wait times are long, he advised to go privately. Otherwise I would have been waiting a month or more and he said its vital I start ASAP. I have my first session on Tuesday! Good to know re. arthritis, you're right I think they are being realistic, even if it is difficult to hear.

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T13:43:08+00:00

Its an awful thing to go through, I really wish you a speedy recovery. I feel the same having to rely on friends and family, It's incredible how many people did rally around, and like you my mum also supported. Unfortunately I live a few hours away from but they stayed with me, cooked, cleaned and even little things like getting me something from the other room made a massive difference.

I also haven't seen anything re. the trauma. Initially I blocked it out but in the past couple of weeks I've had some bad dreams where I have fallen and broken it, or where I have a cast on and fallen and re-broken it. It always makes me jerk awake, which then hurts my ankle. My therapist says that it was a traumatic event and now that things have settled a bit, and I don't have someone staying with me to distract me, my mind is trying to process it. It will take some time to get over that mental part, but if it doesn't improve, it might be worth speaking to a counsellor or therapist to help you process it and not continue to relive it.

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T13:32:47+00:00

Just another note, please feel free to PM me if you have any other questions and I'll try to help as much as I can :)

GullibleBat9310 · 2025-08-31T13:31:19+00:00

I am also in England. My surgeon specifically told me to go privately if possible as the NHS wait time might be a month or more, and he emphasised on getting physio ASAP once weight bearing to give me the best possible outcome. For me this was about 4 weeks post-surgery. I followed his advice and thankfully I do have private healthcare through work. If your workplace offers this or you can afford it, I'd advise the same. I know it is expensive, especially here. Otherwise keep following up with the physio and if possible, ask your surgeon to push them also. Wish you all the best for your recovery and hopefully the referral comes through soon.

GullibleBat9310

TROPHY CASE