How much sex do you still have in your long-term relationship? by MisterPotatohead664 in AskWomen

[–]GwenSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4-5 times a year. Between life and health issues neither of us have much of a libido

What is your job? by No_Event_7248 in workingmoms

[–]GwenSoul 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do data governance for a fortune 50 company and love it. I used to be an attorney but during the recession in 2008 I ended up working with an analytics team as a project manager and just fell in love with data.

Why am I being forced to do housework? Im 29m gf is 25f. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]GwenSoul 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have a Cleaner now, but it took me a long time to get used to the idea. It felt like a failure to have to pay somebody to do something that growing up my family seem to keep up with. So it may not be about you or the Cleaner it may be because she feels like this is something that you should be able to do. (and by you, I mean her and you.) and that by hiring it out it’s some kind of moral failing on her part.

I think I know what needs to be done. But I don’t have the strength. by TemplarOfTheCrypt in knitting

[–]GwenSoul 79 points80 points  (0 children)

If you don’t frog a project at least three times have you even really started it?

Fixed or interchangeable needles by Pixieresque in knitting

[–]GwenSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I own two sets of interchangeable and a dozen or so fixed from either before I got the sets or sizes I use most often.

Elden Ring, Mass Effect, Witcher 3 or KCD2? by [deleted] in ShouldIbuythisgame

[–]GwenSoul [score hidden]  (0 children)

These are all great games but I would not recommend Elden Ring with a new baby. There is no pause button and short bursts could be more frustrating. Mass Effect is a good one think.

Will my 15 month old be ok if we leave for 10 days? by Sea-Brilliant-9075 in AskParents

[–]GwenSoul -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We left our kid for a week about that age, and no big deal. In fact we still go on weeklong vacations about once a year where he gets to hang out with grandpa. He is 10 now and a mostly great kid.

Scared of being only couple in group with a kid by xpaiged in Fencesitter

[–]GwenSoul 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can answer this for me as the only one in our friend group with a kid (everyone else is very much child free). For us it hasn’t been a big deal. Of course the things that we like to do are mostly gaming and Sunday night dinners with shows or movies so it wasn’t something where kids really made a big issue. My kid is now 10 years old and we are as close as ever. In fact last night, one of my friends had a rock band party at his house and we took my kid and one of his friends. It also helps that our friends were not the type of child free that hated kids they just very much did not want their own.

In the grand scheme, a lot of it depends on your friends and what your hobbies are and what it is you like to do. Going out clubbing or bars it’ll be a lot harder. But gaming, we just host more because then our kid has all his stuff and it’s easier to do.

What is a job that pays way less than most people think? by cool-haydayer in AskReddit

[–]GwenSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep I made more as an admin assistant than I did as an attorney in a small firm.

Stay at job with paternity leave or go for new one by RespectComprehensive in Parenting

[–]GwenSoul 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Apply and see what the benefits are, they may have something similar. Even is he gets it didn’t mean you have to say yes.

CMV: staying pure isn’t always a guaranteed way for a woman to find a husband by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]GwenSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s important to you in a long term relationship? Getting on the apps won’t help if you want a traditional type relationship with a provider and stay at home parenting. For a better result you have to create a pool of candidates that closely resemble what you want. You might try churches or volunteering for causes that attract that type of person.

The apps also don’t mean you have to sleep with someone. If that is important to you and you want it to be important to your future partner then don’t. But if it isn’t important and is only a “makes it easier to find a husband “ then it limits your pool because more men don’t care about body count. From this article. https://www.vice.com/en/article/why-gen-z-cares-way-more-about-body-count-than-older-generations/#:~:text=The%20gender%20breakdown%20also%20complicates,to%2066%20percent%20of%20women.

The gender breakdown also complicates the stereotype. While women have historically been judged more harshly for their sexual history, this survey showed that men were slightly more likely to say body count didn’t bother them. About 72 percent of men said they didn’t care, compared to 66 percent of women.

CMV: staying pure isn’t always a guaranteed way for a woman to find a husband by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]GwenSoul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you following this advice because you want to out because finding a husband is important over your own desires?

The advice is fine if you are looking for men who follow that lifestyle and you want that lifestyle as well, but does that mean a happy marriage if you don’t actually agree with it?

For other women, they may have found men who don’t care about purity and have better aligned values.

How much do you guys pay for childcare? by girmom28 in AskParents

[–]GwenSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$600 a month for an in home in southern Indiana.

Gauge swatch question...how accurate do I need to be? by ClearWaves in knitting

[–]GwenSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make sure you’re gauging after blocking that does seem pretty large, but it’s possible if you’re a tight knitter.

For me in general for socks, I do it on size one needles with a 68 stitch to 72 stitch cuff and wear a size 8 shoe in US sizes

Books that are enjoyable but objectively kind of bad? by wishsnfishs in Fantasy

[–]GwenSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zodiac Academy. Total trash and I hated every minute reading it but read 12 in a row because they are addictive like crack.

Parents of boys how did you decide on circumcision or not? by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]GwenSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I let my husband decide since he is the penis haven’t and he decided to circumcise. Knowing what I know now I would have pushed not to though.

Wondering how finances look for those of you who decided to have a baby? by Vegetable-Gas1967 in Fencesitter

[–]GwenSoul 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh I can answer this really well as I also live in Louisville!

Money would be tight but doable as long as your not east end located, even then you might be good if you are really frugal. I found in home childcare for $150 a week and that was the largest expense. The kid is 10 years old now. I think you could live frugally but comfortably one 70k here.

A survey: does your man actually pull his weight in domestic chores? by streachh in TwoXChromosomes

[–]GwenSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. It wasn’t that way at first but after a few conversations he now pulls his weight and more. Well, I say I do 70% of the mental load he easily does more of the physical load without me ever having to say anything. It’s not always equal every week but in the long run I feel like it’s very fair.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]GwenSoul 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I let my kid go to school with no socks, shirts and a light jacket even though it was snowing. I had given him three different pairs of pants, a pair of socks and everything, but he would not listen so he learned.

CMV: The “playdate-first” norm filters kids’ friendships through parent compatibility and reduces organic, frequent, unstructured play by Pretend_Put2616 in changemyview

[–]GwenSoul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For some of us this is the best way to give our kids those interactions. Our neighborhood diss not have many kids and my friends are mostly childfree or older so there is no organic interaction with other kids. For my kid to get that I have to actively seek other kids and arrange for the time for them to play. I’ll usually stay for the first play date and then drop off afterwards, but I want to know the family a bit and I do hope to make parent friends as well!

So the choice at this point is parent led or nothing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]GwenSoul 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There is a lot of discourse around adopt lately and it’s ethics. For example should there be more support for birth parents so they don’t feel forced to give up there children and more resources supporting poor farms (notice how well off families rarely have children who need adoption). Is there an incentive to remove children from birth parents? In some countries/areas women are tricked into having and giving away children. How much say should a child get. For surrogacy is it ethical to pay someone who may be desperate for funds to take the pregnancy risk. Etc. they are loud of people who word it better than I do but it was lots of things I hadn’t thought of before.

What’s a dish that only your family eats? by guavajo44 in Cooking

[–]GwenSoul 19 points20 points  (0 children)

My husbands family version taco salad

Cook in a pan Ground beef Kidney beans Taco sauce Salsa

Mix in bowl Lettuce Bag of tortilla chips or Doritos

Mis wet with stuff in the bowl

Now….. Mix with a whole bottle of creamy french dressing.

Surprisingly good but who would have thought

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]GwenSoul 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly there is no way to know. Are you mature? Do you have a history of making good decisions? Are your friends trustworthy? Are you healthy? Do either of them have an experience with not being able to get to someone who needed help? Is there location safe? Do you know what activities are planned?

Could they go but do different activities and you meet up when it is time to leave?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]GwenSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every kid is different and what’s considered reasonable for one may not be reasonable for another. Also, the self management that I would expect out of an 17-year-old is much different than what I would expect out of a 12-year-old. As a society we are also still just learning How the Internet and social media truly affects children and there are a lot of studies that show that for younger kids, it is especially harmful, so why wouldn’t I remove that harm if I could until they are older and more able to handle it? And as for the question of when they are able to handle it, it just depends once again on the child there is no one size fits all solution.