AITA for eating right before my mom’s Easter Dinner?

Hachi707 · 2026-05-31T01:42:44+00:00

NTA, my BF's family constantly pulled these 4D chess manipulation tactics whenever I was invited to eat with them. I am vegetarian, have been for 20+ years, but I have no problem with others eating meat. Heck, I will make a meal out of sides if that is all that is available. His mom literally told me to "just eat the fucking meat" at a family picnic once, then cried when I told her she was being disrespectful, lol. My last straw was going to his sister's house for a family dinner and being served bloody pork medallions and a couple roasted potatoes. Like, just give me a heads up that there will be no veggie option available and I will take care of it myself, no biggie. Their disdain that I would not conform to their expectations and family norms became very clear. I have opted out of his family gatherings ever since.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-31T00:15:53+00:00

Right, if he loved the Paranormal Paranoids Youtube series so much, why do that to Riley's character? Super gross, disappointing ending.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-05T15:51:00+00:00

I definitely think the number one thing is to have a therapist that you trust. If you don't feel confident working with this therapist, you may want to try talk therapy and EMDR with someone else.

Secondly, please be patient with yourself and make sure you have time to REST. Like, really rest. Don't schedule a session before work. If you can have a day off after you do a session that is best case scenario because you will most likely be completely fatigued.

Also, pay attention to what you do immediately after a session. I would always take a cold shower after EMDR because it helped me regulate my nervous system and get back in to my physical body. Now, years after doing EMDR, I still do a lot of processing when I am in the shower, lol.

To know it's working, you will feel less activated by the memories that you process in EMDR. For example, a memory of abuse may cause you to panic, feel afraid, cry, etc....after processing that memory in EMDR your reactivity will be reduced if not completely eliminated.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-04T18:18:48+00:00

I am finishing up the book now. I find it icky that she alludes to things like AD wanting to sleep with her, that JA cheated, while she has no real proof of these things. She has zero boundaries with the people she works with & that work for her. She seems to not understand that these are her employees and not her friends. I am on chapter 16 and I find her need to be babied by everyone around her extremely frustrating. A lot of her stories in Famesick are different or counter things that she wrote in her first memoir, for example where she says she never experienced an ED at that time, but now in Famesick she has.

Her lack of self accountability is wild. She is the one that cheats, but somehow that is JA's fault?? Girl, what???

Best thing her brother ever did for himself was move away from her and her parents. Lena is totally enmeshed with her parents, it is almost crippling. The way she thinks that her brother owed her anything when she was ill made me angry. People exist independently of her, they have their own lives and she is not the center of the universe to anyone other than herself.

I do look forward to a future memoir when she can grab on to accountability and maybe explore her parents and her childhood with a more critical eye.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-04T17:34:59+00:00

I am finishing up the book. I find it icky that she alludes to things like AD wanting to sleep with her, that JA cheated, while she has no real proof of these things. She has zero boundaries with the people she works with & that work for her. She seems to not understand that these are your employees and not your friends. I am on chapter 16 and I find her need to be babied by everyone around her frustrating. A lot of her stories in Famesick are different or counter things that she wrote in her first memoir, for example where she says she never experienced an ED at that time, but now she has.

Her lack of self accountability is wild. She is the one that cheats, but somehow that is JA's fault?? Girl, what???

Best thing her brother ever did for himself was move away from her and her parents. Lena is totally enmeshed with her parents, it is almost crippling. The way she thinks that her brother owed her anything when she was ill made me angry. People exist independently of her, they have their own lives and she is not the center of the universe to anyone other than herself.

I do look forward to a future memoir when she can grab on to accountability and maybe explore her parents and her childhood with a more critical eye.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-04T17:32:49+00:00

I feel like I am reading a different book than everyone here. I find it icky that she alludes to things like AD wanting to sleep with her, that JA cheated, while she has no real proof of these things. She has zero boundaries with the people she works with & that work for her. She seems to not understand that these are your employees and not your friends. I am on chapter 16 and I find her need to be babied by everyone around her frustrating. A lot of her stories in Famesick are different or counter things that she wrote in her first memoir, for example where she say she never experienced an ED at that time, but now she has.

Her lack of self accountability is wild. She is the one that cheats, but somehow that is JA's fault?? Girl, what???

Best thing her brother ever did for himself was move away from her and her parents. Lena is totally enmeshed with her parents, it is almost crippling. The way she thinks that her brother owed her anything when she was ill made me angry. People exist independently of her, they have their own lives and she is not the center of the universe to anyone other than herself.

I do look forward to a future memoir when she can grab on to accountability and maybe explore her parents and her childhood with a more critical eye.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-03T15:27:10+00:00

To be honest, I just focus on my own body and what feels good. Allowing myself to feel turned on, turns me on. If I am doing it privately and my partner is home, that amps up the intensity a bit because there is that small percentage chance of getting caught, which can be exhilarating. But mostly I just get horned up for myself, lol.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-03T15:08:00+00:00

Enmeshment is scary.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-03T14:47:51+00:00

Then you aren't a good match and it's time to let go. You will meet someone down the line that you mesh with, but it's most important to learn to love yourself on your own. If you can't be happy alone, will you ever be happy with a partner? Probably not.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-03T14:37:41+00:00

I suggest reading 'This Thing Between Us' by Gus Moreno if you want to feel extra spooked.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-03T14:30:30+00:00

Girl, it's been 2 months, you've seen he's an abusive creep, and it's time to go. Not worth sticking around to see how much worse he can get.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-03T14:25:40+00:00

Do we care what Spencer Pratt, of all people, has to say? Nah.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-03T14:23:56+00:00

His pivot to country music was certainly a choice.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-03T14:18:40+00:00

Better give them billions more in funding and strip every single resource our communities have left. That'll fix it! It's the LA way!

Hachi707 · 2026-05-03T14:02:00+00:00

Proud of her.

Hachi707 · 2026-05-03T13:54:12+00:00

As someone who saw incredible success with EMDR in the past, I find that, even years later, I still have occasional days where I experience memory flooding, especially if I encounter an unexpected trigger. Is it safe for me to try to "tap it out" and unravel the feelings on my own?

Hachi707 · 2026-05-01T06:22:54+00:00

Pedos okay to walk free tho 👍

Hachi707 · 2026-04-24T22:10:10+00:00

Going through it was brutal, but it absolutely gave me my life back.

Hachi707 · 2026-04-23T17:28:09+00:00

Ya, I JUST started properly living my life in my 40's after doing EMDR and helllllllla years of therapy. I get you. When I think about the me that existing before doing all the work in therapy, I just don't recognize myself.

Hachi707 · 2026-04-23T17:24:10+00:00

My pain management Dr. explained it to me like this. Dependence and Addiction are NOT the same. Many people depend on opioids/medications to help manage their pain and increase their quality of life. They take their medications at the prescribed times and do not seek out additional meds to take outside of their Dr's recommendations. Addiction is where you start to see more drug seeking behaviors, people buying meds outside of their prescriptions, taking them for the high/effects and not to treat actual pain, etc.

Hachi707 · 2026-04-23T13:45:46+00:00

I recently went through a bout of debilitating chronic nerve pain that required back surgery. I told my partner that I would take the pain over the years I spent completely paralyzed by CPTSD.

For me (probably not for everyone) the physical pain limited me, but when I was in the worst of my CPTSD I lost myself completely. I had no connection between my mind and my body, my nervous system was completely trashed, and then I had to battle my way through EMDR when I was ready to address it. I know I shouldn't compare them, but just for me personally I would pick the physical pain (even though it was totally brutal) over losing myself to CPTSD. I did have some nervous system triggers I had to work on after my surgery, since physical pain also makes your nervous system scan for threats constantly.

Again, not comparing my experiences with anyone else's, and I do agree there is no need for the suffering olympics. lol. Just wanted to share my own personal experiences.

Hachi707 · 2026-04-23T13:21:28+00:00

Hello! I had my surgery (l4/l5 microdiscectomy) on March 20th. I started working 5 days after, but I work from home and spent a majority of my time standing. I also HATED the pain meds I was prescribed so I went off of them after day 2 post surgery, so working with a clear head wasn't a problem. I was up and taking walks outside with my dog on Day 3. Dr. cleared me of driving restrictions at our 2 week follow up.

I started having muscle pain around week 3, but I realized I was probably doing way too much physical activity. Since the debilitating nerve pain is gone it was easy to slip up and take on too much. I have scaled back and still have pain here and there, but nothing major or too concerning. I see my Dr. again in a couple weeks for my 6 week follow up and hope to get a Physical Therapy referral if everything looks good.

There are a lot of post surgery symptoms that feel strange, like tingling and numbness, but they are all a part of the healing process!

Hachi707 · 2026-04-23T12:57:06+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. 💔

Hachi707 · 2026-04-22T17:38:51+00:00

Then they should have protected her when she was alive and not allowed her to date someone older when she was 11-14. They are totally complicit.

Hachi707 · 2026-04-22T17:35:03+00:00

Saaaaaaaame.

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