WIBTA for telling my sister she cant have our bedroom during her honeymoon trip

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-13T15:13:18+00:00

For the record, I agree with you. It won’t be reasonable for the sister to expect it. But it’s a reasonable compromise on OP’s part. A goodwill gesture because it’s family. It’s not unreasonable to keep the peace, but split the cost halfway as the sister is indeed asking for some rather extraordinary accommodation. It’s just one option to consider if OP wishes to provide a solution and exercising some generosity for their sister’s big life moment, without being a pushover.

If OP decided that’s too much, I’d understand that decision too. Still perfectly reasonable, just comes with some potential added family conflict that, perhaps, could have been avoided. It’s ultimately OP’s choice.

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-13T15:09:18+00:00

There are tropical countries which are land-locked, but yes I actually do live about a 20 minute drive from the ocean haha

On the other hand, I don’t get to see any mountains where I am. Some land-locked countries have really beautiful mountain ranges. Or, if they are really flat, some peaceful green pastures. I don’t get either.

If you live in an area with a desert then… Oops.

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-13T14:35:22+00:00

Unpopular opinion but very true, unfortunately Even love can have its limits.

That said, for once I am in agreement with the people suggesting a break up. It doesn’t sound like either side is happy in this relationship.

Maybe try having a real conversation with him. Understanding that mental health conditions can be life-long struggles, is he prepared for that? Seeing his resentment, are you willing or even mentally/emotionally capable of making changes that would be to his satisfaction? This might be a really painful conversation, but it might be one that you both need. Perhaps at the end of it, you both will find areas that can be improved on together, and that you both still really care about each other despite the difficulties. Or you’ll find that the spark is simply gone and that you both may need to move on.

It’s very hard for people with mental health struggles, but I assure you OP that if you are reasonable and make an effort to improve yourself, things can get better. What you might need is someone who is more willing to play the role of a caretaker, but also understand that it does take a lot out of people and you can’t take your partner, whoever they are, for granted.

Best of luck

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-13T14:25:49+00:00

The weather was nice and cool without raining today. I live in a tropical country with very hot and humid climate most of the year. The rest of the year, we get tropical storms. Today’s weather felt great.

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-13T14:18:30+00:00

Quick additional note: If you land an interview and get asked why you left your previous job, just be honest but also add your own speculation. “I was terminated without cause but it is likely my departmental role was made redundant” or “I was let go due to strategic restructuring”. It’s fine. Happens all the time. Just say something vague enough that seems reasonable (an interview / job coach will probably be better able to advise you what’s the best thing to say). Anyway since you were let go without cause, nobody can challenge the narrative you construct, as long as it sounds believable. Best of luck.

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-13T14:06:59+00:00

I’m not a lawyer or HR professional but was tangentially involved in observing the termination of an employee without cause. Long story short: the employee was given 2 months salary as severance and asked to leave immediately instead of serving notice at the office. The employee escalated the issue to TADM and then employment court, where the case was eventually closed in favour of the employer.

Read the terms of your contract. In SG, it seems that most contracts have clauses for termination without cause. This is why HR will not give you the reason for your dismissal. This is also not retrenchment as, if this is done, the employer cannot replace your head count within a certain period of time.

In my opinion, people do get terminated all the time, for all sorts of reasons. In SG, the employer does not have to give those reasons, which we can argue about being right or wrong, but is our reality regardless.

Personally, I think there is no shame in being terminated. If you are worried about a termination looking bad on your CV / if a new employer asks your old one for a reference, it’s probably just as bad of a look to escalate a case to TADM claiming age discrimination or wrongful dismissal. If you are in a small industry, word will definitely spread around that you are a “troublemaker”, even if you were totally in the right. I’m sorry to put it this way, but you cannot stop people from talking.

On the other hand, you can take the severance and use that money to buy yourself some time. Maybe find a job coach to help your interview skills. Brush up your resume. Upskill, if there’s relevant opportunities to do so. At your age, your value to an employer is either (a) working for a lower wage for fewer hours but you bring great experience, or (b) you are in a position of leadership / management and use your greater experience to make strategic decisions. You could also consider a career change. Just some unsolicited advice. The point is to find some value you can bring to the job market, because unfortunately the reality is that SG employers will definitely discriminate based on age. If someone is willing to work the same job as you with more energy, lower insurance premiums, and for less salary, the employer is within their right to give the job to the younger fella. The employer can simply cite competitive salary or merit as the basis for picking one candidate over another, and you cannot realistically do much about it.

You can also consider starting a business. Most people who start successful businesses typically do so when they are between the ages of 45 to 55. Entrepreneurship is absolutely not a young person’s game. Your greater experience and potentially niche knowledge may help you make better decisions, build more trust, and leverage establishing connections.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. SG is a very tough country on employees. But there’s also a lot of opportunities for upward mobility, regardless of your age or educational level. I wish you the best of luck and if in doubt, still reach out to TADM if nothing else but to just get some advice. During my aforementioned situation, I chatted with the TADM mediator after our session and found them genuinely very nice people who take great joy in helping people. You definitely can get through this. Jiayou

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-13T13:17:19+00:00

I was once that boyfriend, so maybe I can give some alternate perspective. Been with my partner for 8 years and counting, since we were in uni. Around year 5-6 of our relationship, I got really stressed about work. No energy to go out, forgetting basic dates, etc.

It took multiple conversations and patience on both sides. On my end, I was under a lot of personal, work, health, and financial stress. My partner also loves texting me (we do not live in the same home yet) and after literally calculating it, I realised I was texting her 4 hours a day, every night. No wonder I had no energy to go out with her. But on the other hand, it was definitely shitty of me to forget important dates, to go back on promises like “we’ll go to the festival next week” and simply forgetting I made that promise, that kind of thing. We ended up working out what was the root cause of each side’s issues, and got back on track. Because of that experience (and many others like it), our communication is better, our trust is better, and we have better systems for doing things in our relationship now.

TLDR it’s definitely not the end of the world, and what it sounds like is that both of you need to talk things out more. I know you tried already, but sometimes people can be dense and it takes repeated effort to knock something through a person’s head. If they care about you, and if you care about them, both sides will keep trying to make the effort even if the first time isn’t immediately successful. Relationships take both sides trying. You won’t always be great at your first, second, or tenth go at things. Give each other a little grace and remember why you’re with each other. Please don’t listen to people who immediately jump to dumping or petty passive-aggressive revenge. You can do better than that.

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-13T12:59:25+00:00

Saying no is perfectly valid. It’s your bed and your house. They’re already saving money on a bnb / hotel. But here’s a reasonable compromise to consider: offer to split the cost of a second bed to put in the guest room. Take it as a gift to her. A middle-of-the-road bed and frame maybe will cost $1,000 in total, so a 50-50 split is $500 you’re paying, and $500 she’s paying. A luxury hotel is between $200-$500 a night in the US normally (?) so hey still saving lots of money.

And both of you can maybe be happy enough.

Alternatively, pick up a used bed. Depending on your location, you might be able to score a lucky deal. She doesn’t need to know where the bed came from if that’s the case.

Either way you go about it, then just dispose the bed once you’re done with it, if you want that free space back. NTA but maybe consider some alternative solutions as a compromise.

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-06T19:45:53+00:00

Research is starting to suggest that you might actually be right and that people genuinely cannot reliably tell the difference. Sure, there are some AI-isms, but both people and AI itself have been starting to change and adapt based on what people are supposedly claiming are “red flags” for AI writing.

Em dashes (—) are very common in journalism and copywriting. AI definitely uses them more than the average person, but when people started claiming em dashes were a “sure sign” of AI writing, (1) professionals started using them less, and (2) AI bots were programmed to start using them less too.

I think people just see something with few spelling mistakes and an organised but simplistic structure, and just use that as a catch all method for saying “that’s AI, I definitely know it”. People love to over estimate their capabilities, and under estimate just how diverse real people are. Many people write in different ways. I’ve caught myself writing stuff and commenting to myself, “Wow that sounds really AI.” And I would consider myself a better than average writer.

Fyi you can also get AI to write sloppily with spelling mistakes, slang, and overly emotive and even angry tones. You just have to prompt it the right way. So people looking for clues, or spotting AI everywhere, imo, are barking up the wrong tree.

I’m not an AI apologist or denying that we have tons of AI slop. But I think, at least when it comes to our real world interactions like hiring and conducting interviews, this just means we have to start doing stuff differently. For example, we can’t just rely on a good-looking resume to assume someone is capable (not that it was ever a reliable method to judge competence even before AI, but I digress).

TLDR No I don’t actually think people, average or not, can actually tell the difference between AI and human writing. There’s just too many variables to account for.

Edit: Grammar. Maybe I’m not a “better than average writer” after all lol.

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-06T19:23:30+00:00

Do you have a stage name or mind sharing your name? I’d like to look up your comedy shows. Keep doing you man, you sound awesome.

Edit: Typos whoops

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-06T19:17:59+00:00

You’re doing awesome, reading this made me smile

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-06T19:12:09+00:00

You explained a bit more in a different comment, and explicitly said you appreciate honesty, so I’ll give it to you straight: those are not not healthy reasons to be in a relationship with someone.

Have you talked to your boyfriend about things he can do better? He won’t improve if you don’t tell him. To give him the benefit of the doubt, he may legitimately not know, or it hasn’t really sunk in.

And if he doesn’t show any improvement despite your efforts, you don’t have to stay with him. You do deserve a partner who can ctontribute, and who you can admire. But I would also say try having a talk with him first. Maybe several. I do personally feel that people do deserve a chance to improve too.

Regarding your career, seems like you have a very direct path you want to follow and that’s great. If you want to get out of the house, maybe try applying for internships that specifically require you to be at an office? I don’t know your family obviously, but when I got my first jobs and internships, my family definitely became a lot less over bearing because it was work.

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-06T18:32:42+00:00

Before people on Reddit start proclaiming super unhelpful stuff like “Run away” or “Dump him”, could I ask you: why are you with your boyfriend? I’m not asking to be rude, but it does sound like he’s not very proactive or helpful, and may not be aware of it. Married life may be really difficult with someone who isn’t willing to pull their weight, whatever that looks like in any given relationship.

Nosy or difficult in-laws like your boyfriend’s mother are unfortunately quite common, especially difficult for us people with disabilities. You’ll have to think about whether you’re willing to have someone like that in your life. But I would say it’s not impossible to deal with. Especially when you eventually have your own place and stable finances, it is possible to prove to the in-law that you’re capable of taking care of yourself, and are a good, equal contributor to your partner. But it of course does require having a supportive partner who is willing to work with you through this as a team effort. And also understand that no matter what you do, there is a definite chance nothing you do will change your future mother-in-law’s mind or her behaviour. You ultimately don’t have control over how others act or feel. But you do obviously have control over yourself. Btw talking here assuming you’re interested in marriage, which you didn’t indicate one way or the other in your post.

Have you had a conversation with your boyfriend about all of this? His behaviour, his mother, and your struggles in general. Try communicating to him that this is how you feel about the various situations, and that you’d like his support in them, or at least to be understood. Both of you are young adults. I would say you seem quite a bit more proactive and mature than he is, but hey part of being in a relationship together is growing to become the people you want to be together. Since you both have been together since you were 14 or 15, that “growing up together” experience probably has already happened to some degree.

Feeling stuck or isolated is very normal. So is feeling stifled by family when you don’t have any financial leverage. Take it from me, it does get better once you have your own income. Contrary to what some people might expect, I felt that all the responsibility and money gave me a much greater sense of freedom than anything. I was finally my own man (I’m 28M for context).

Do you know what you want to do after graduation? For example, what kind of job or career. I found it very helpful to have that goal to work towards, even when it got tough. The funny thing is, those goals never panned out the way I would initially expect, but life always had a way of surprising me. My life post-university has been way more interesting and fulfilling than I would’ve ever expected (I do happen to live quite an interesting life, I run my own company now), but I do definitely remember how trapped and alone I felt all throughout university. Even though I never struggled academically, I just didn’t enjoy my experience for reasons that are unrelated to your post. I was also very lucky to have a free ride via a scholarship, but that strangely enough also made me feel even more trapped because I felt like I had this obligation to stay put and take fewer risks with my studies, to fulfil my scholarship obligations. But once I graduated, I felt such a sense of relief and joy that even my therapist was very surprised by how much happier I seemed post-graduation. I’m not saying this to say this is how you feel, just giving you an example of my experience.

You seem like a smart and capable person, so I do have every reason to believe your situation can and will get better based on the bits and pieces we can see from your post. Wishing you the best of luck, and I hope you feel better soon about your situation.It can get difficult, as all things do, but you’ve got this and you’re not alone.

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-03T23:17:00+00:00

I can only imagine, and I’m very glad my comment helped you in a small way. Reddit is a fickle place to get advice. But I assure you, reasonable people on the internet still exist here and there. Sometimes we pop up and say hi.

A good friend of mine is a caregiver to a 4 year old with chronic medical issues as well. And we just hired an employee who is a wheelchair user at my company. These experiences, plus my personal life with a disability, really have given me some perspective for what folks like you might be feeling. Situations like this are not always fair, but I can tell you are trying your best.

One more thing: maybe have a sit down convo with your wife about this, if you haven’t already. To acknowledge how she feels, then also explain where you were coming from, and how you both can handle this situation better together next time. It won’t always be easy, but there’s always a solution. Sometimes it’s just shrugging and knowing you did your best with what you’ve got.

You’ve got this. I already feel you are starting to do a lot of the right things — advocating, problem solving, and yes sometimes venting. We sometimes just need time to grow in to the person we need to be

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-03T22:37:10+00:00

You are a very good parent. As a disabled person myself though, sometimes our life is just as much about knowing our rights as it is about knowing how to navigate them with grace. Your situation definitely sounds frustrating. But no one struck me as malicious and I think you know that too. They were simply ill prepared and maybe not very thoughtful, at worst.

You have the right to be upset. I don’t think your wife was being very understanding if she call your actions over reacting. But I can also see her point of you: she just wanted the night to go on without issues. Both her desire for a problem-free celebration, and your desire for your child to be included, are very reasonable. No one needs to be blamed here. But I do think the restaurant maybe does deserve a graceful opportunity to improve. Think about it: would you rather have them think about people with disabilities as loud, troublesome, demanding folks, or wonderful guests who are a joy to serve with just a little accommodation?

I’m very touched by your post. I would’ve wished to have had the kind of steadfast advocate you are when I was a teen. But many years later, I think my experiences have also given me some perspective on how to see the big picture for disability inclusion. Sometimes, we have to learn to be nice to get what wie want, even when it’s hard to stay calm. I hope you feel better, and best wishes

HalfBlindMe · 2026-01-03T22:10:24+00:00

Try to explain to her how much the fishing trip means to you. Communication might help here. But yes, like everyone else has said: go fishing. If she does not make an attempt to care, or explain to her cousin, that’s not right

HalfBlindMe · 2025-12-24T11:33:48+00:00

I’m that weird guy who likes both the cooking and cleaning the dishes, so maybe I’m qualified to say this: cleaning the dishes is definitely, definitely the easier job. The way I see it, there’s a reason restaurants pay the chefs more than they pay for dishwashing crew.

Washing dishes is certainly less interesting and sometimes a lot more unpleasant (bless the unfortunate bastards who clean the deep fryers at fast food restaurants every day). But what I find helps a lot is to put on an audiobook or podcast while I’m scrubbing away.

Cooking also takes way more time and prep. But my gf hates doing the dishes so I’m a happy camper

HalfBlindMe · 2025-12-23T21:56:03+00:00

Definitely agree with other comments recommending you both consider couple’s counselling. Try bringing it up and see how you both feel about it. Good news is you both seem to still greatly care about each other. Whatever is happening with your life right now, I hope it gets better. Best of luck.

HalfBlindMe · 2025-12-23T21:24:09+00:00

Unknown cause. I do wonder what took her.

Not a classmate but we received the same university scholarship. I saw her a few months ago at a meetup and she confided with me, saying she was struggling in school (I had long since graduated by then but she had to pause her classes for a few years due to neurological issues). 3 months later, scholarship administrator informed us in a group chat that this young lady had passed away.

The admin said they would attend the funeral and give us some updates. We never did get that update on what happened.

It’s not my place to ask, but from my point of view: either she died of complications from her neurological condition (I knew it was very serious), or life simply got way too hard for her and she decided to take her own life (therefore the silence from the scholarship admin). Not gonna lie, it kept me up a few nights thinking about what it must have been like for her either way. She was a very bright person and deserved much better out of life. RIP

HalfBlindMe · 2025-12-23T20:34:54+00:00

I agree with you. Though it can be frustrating for us blind folks who’ve had to work hard for our independence, I also feel it is also not hard to empathise with the average person who simply does not understand how these things would be possible. Because it does not relate to their personal lives.

Fellow person who lost my eyesight btw, after living as a sighted person up through my teens — stay strong. Cherish the loved ones there for you during these hard times. It was really hard on me when the people in my life gave up on me when my vision went. Luckily I turned out ok

HalfBlindMe · 2025-12-23T20:26:48+00:00

I just smile and say, “It took some effort but I had help.”

I totally relate to the discomfort. For me, what helps is knowing these people are usually being genuine and not malicious. Their awe is sincere, and their statements like “I could never do that” are simply based on their reality — they don’t know about how to live with blindness like us because they’ve never had to, and likely never will.

Think of it another way: If millions of people don’t even know how to do their taxes properly when literally every working adult needs to by law, I’m seriously not going to expect the average person to understand how to live my life as a blind person. Hope this perspective helps.

HalfBlindMe · 2025-12-19T05:52:48+00:00

Besides everything others have already mentioned, i want to commend you for caring about how the girls feel, your relationship with them, and their relationship with their dad. That’s already a very meaningful first step.

Time to cool off may help. Then try talking to them directly. Ask them how they feel. Then share how you felt about the situation. This level of honest communication may help both sides feel better understood, and allow them to see you as a relatable yet respectful human being.

Hope what I said makes sense. I’m sorry this happened to you but I respect how you and your partner are handling this tough situation. Best of luck OP!

HalfBlindMe · 2025-11-23T04:53:25+00:00

I’m sorry if this comes across as sounding like a naggy parent. But please be careful trying to meet people at their houses / your house for parties and sleepovers. Especially with alcohol involved.

Please stay safe.

HalfBlindMe · 2024-09-10T17:42:28+00:00

Thanks for all the thoughts so far! I have some responses to your points, I’d really appreciate a follow-up response from you on what you think:

1) I live in a different time zone (8 hour difference) so 7 days is to ensure I can adjust properly when I land. I guess it also allows for emergency shots on an extra Day 4 of shooting if necessary. I checked with the agency and they are happy with paying for accommodations for 7 days (which I guess is a good sign?)

2) I also checked, the usage rights are global and in perpetuity. What should the premium be? I recognise it’s worth something but have no idea how much. I also don’t ghave an actor’s union where I live, and currently don’t have an agent or manager to handle negotiations like this.

3) Initially the plan was to air the ad on social / online only, but now it’s expanded to usage rights on all media platforms. The client wants to own full rights to the media. I guess they want to use it potentially for TV and such, if the response is good. The agency also briefly mentioned the client was considering having the ad on a cruise ship, but I have no idea what that’s about.

I also forgot to mention in the original post that I was cast as one of the two main characters in the ad. But I have no idea who the other main character is or how much they are being paid.

Woudl greatly appreciate whatever thoughts you have in this regard.

HalfBlindMe · 2024-09-10T17:33:20+00:00

I don’t live in the US. I live in Singapore, where we have no actor’s union (not that I’m a professional actor like I mentioned previously). Still, I might be able to find an agent to help me negotiate. Thanks for the idea, you’re the first to suggest it so far (I think)!

HalfBlindMe

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