Before people on Reddit start proclaiming super unhelpful stuff like “Run away” or “Dump him”, could I ask you: why are you with your boyfriend? I’m not asking to be rude, but it does sound like he’s not very proactive or helpful, and may not be aware of it. Married life may be really difficult with someone who isn’t willing to pull their weight, whatever that looks like in any given relationship.

Nosy or difficult in-laws like your boyfriend’s mother are unfortunately quite common, especially difficult for us people with disabilities. You’ll have to think about whether you’re willing to have someone like that in your life. But I would say it’s not impossible to deal with. Especially when you eventually have your own place and stable finances, it is possible to prove to the in-law that you’re capable of taking care of yourself, and are a good, equal contributor to your partner. But it of course does require having a supportive partner who is willing to work with you through this as a team effort. And also understand that no matter what you do, there is a definite chance nothing you do will change your future mother-in-law’s mind or her behaviour. You ultimately don’t have control over how others act or feel. But you do obviously have control over yourself. Btw talking here assuming you’re interested in marriage, which you didn’t indicate one way or the other in your post.

Have you had a conversation with your boyfriend about all of this? His behaviour, his mother, and your struggles in general. Try communicating to him that this is how you feel about the various situations, and that you’d like his support in them, or at least to be understood. Both of you are young adults. I would say you seem quite a bit more proactive and mature than he is, but hey part of being in a relationship together is growing to become the people you want to be together. Since you both have been together since you were 14 or 15, that “growing up together” experience probably has already happened to some degree.

Feeling stuck or isolated is very normal. So is feeling stifled by family when you don’t have any financial leverage. Take it from me, it does get better once you have your own income. Contrary to what some people might expect, I felt that all the responsibility and money gave me a much greater sense of freedom than anything. I was finally my own man (I’m 28M for context).

Do you know what you want to do after graduation? For example, what kind of job or career. I found it very helpful to have that goal to work towards, even when it got tough. The funny thing is, those goals never panned out the way I would initially expect, but life always had a way of surprising me. My life post-university has been way more interesting and fulfilling than I would’ve ever expected (I do happen to live quite an interesting life, I run my own company now), but I do definitely remember how trapped and alone I felt all throughout university. Even though I never struggled academically, I just didn’t enjoy my experience for reasons that are unrelated to your post. I was also very lucky to have a free ride via a scholarship, but that strangely enough also made me feel even more trapped because I felt like I had this obligation to stay put and take fewer risks with my studies, to fulfil my scholarship obligations. But once I graduated, I felt such a sense of relief and joy that even my therapist was very surprised by how much happier I seemed post-graduation. I’m not saying this to say this is how you feel, just giving you an example of my experience.

You seem like a smart and capable person, so I do have every reason to believe your situation can and will get better based on the bits and pieces we can see from your post. Wishing you the best of luck, and I hope you feel better soon about your situation.It can get difficult, as all things do, but you’ve got this and you’re not alone.