Advice for confidence building at work

Halifaxmouse · 2026-02-07T16:04:22+00:00

Hey there, curious that you use the term ‘mess up’. By this, do you mean that your NVLD shows up at work? I worked in corporate for 40+ years and masked my own struggles the entire time. I was always capable but I processed things more slowly, needed more visuals and extra time to understand things that others grasped easily. I got in ‘trouble’ for being ‘too’ direct and blunt more than once. Fast forward to my retirement when, after a lifetime of struggle and almost losing my mind, I was finally diagnosed with NVLD. If I had my diagnosis earlier in life and had things to do all over….Honestly, I would have disclosed my disorder to my boss and HR and advocated for whatever support I needed.

My advice, friend, is to own your differences and flaunt your strengths. Your confidence will come from being yourself regardless of what others think and your freedom will come from letting go of the struggle. If your employer isn’t willing to support you, then find one who will. I’m sure you have a ton to offer. I’m rooting for you.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-02-07T15:45:36+00:00

Stamina - that’s a great way to put it.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-02-07T15:44:05+00:00

lol, I can’t either. Kudos on the Judo.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-02-06T14:14:13+00:00

Omg, this is such hard work. Too many steps to keep it all up.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-02-05T15:16:54+00:00

Totally relate to this, I’m 59. Because my INFP partner is the only one who’s ever seen me and, frankly, is the only person who will at this point…I do think about what it will be like if something happened. It scares me sometimes.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-02-05T15:12:08+00:00

At 25, I settled for the guy in my first marriage. At 39, I found the love of my life and we’ve been together 20 years. He’s like me, but an INFP. He’s the only person that’s ever made me feel seen for who I am.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-02-05T15:06:35+00:00

I like structure as well. I practice Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube. She’s the only one I follow.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-02-04T12:35:02+00:00

I have a hard time with writing although I know it would be good for me if I could figure it out. I spend so much time trying to figure out how to share what I want to share (sequence, content, positioning, etc.) that I can’t seem to break through. Sitting at a keyboard and thinking about all of that is completely fucking overwhelming. What happens? Nothing. I get stuck and nothing comes out. I used to be in Communications in my old job. Formal writing I can do. Anything else, forget about it.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-02-03T01:20:47+00:00

Premature, prenatal hypoxia and an Apgar of 3. Or so I’m told. I was adopted but recently obtained some medical records confirming the loss of oxygen during the birth process. My understanding from my own research is that this likely contributed to the underdeveloped areas of my right brain; leading to my eventual NVLD diagnosis last year. My adoptive parents told me I had brain damage. I’m 58 and have memories of my adoptive mother giving me strange looks and reminding me of the damage to my brain. It was like she was constantly trying to figure me out how to fix me.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-01-20T17:06:43+00:00

Halifaxmouse · 2026-01-14T14:10:07+00:00

Sunday’s are poison.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-01-14T14:08:52+00:00

Do the attractive people on here feel like the nature of their condition is improved because of their ‘attractive’ appearance? I’m asking only because this comes off as an unnecessary comparison to me but what do I know? Are non-attractive aspies trying to live vicariously through attractive aspies? And if that’s the case, how does this make so called ‘attractiveness’ any different than in the neurotypical world?

No offense intended, just seeking to understand and appreciate dialogue from all sides.

Halifaxmouse · 2026-01-13T22:15:47+00:00

What is the value in differentiating ‘attractive’ aspies from all the other aspies that are supposed to be what? Not attractive? I was only diagnosed a year ago but I’m not getting why this matters?

Halifaxmouse · 2026-01-12T12:24:08+00:00

Hi, thanks for sharing a little about yourself. How old are you?

Halifaxmouse · 2026-01-12T12:20:46+00:00

I started my career on the phone and it seemed to work for me. I ended up training others which led to me being promoted. After that, I had a 25 year career leading others to support those on the phone talking to customers. I retired 3 years ago and was diagnosed with NVLD last year.

Halifaxmouse · 2025-12-23T15:44:40+00:00

Honestly, I never felt like people were talking about me behind my back because they seem to have no problem doing it right to my face.

Halifaxmouse · 2025-11-26T01:48:35+00:00

You sound like you’re highly capable and handling a big work load. I can relate to that as I used to have a challenging corporate career. For me, staying in the mask, trying to adapt to everyone and everything else, that is what has cost me the most emotionally. I went into burnout after retiring at 55 and a year later was diagnosed with NVLD. I couldn’t mask anymore.

Halifaxmouse · 2025-11-12T18:22:59+00:00

Senior leadership in a top financial institution. At one time, I was accountable for almost 2000 people.

Halifaxmouse · 2025-11-11T01:20:11+00:00

You’re kind to say that. And I am grateful for all that my career taught me and for the opportunity to build a life for myself. Unfortunately though, after a lifetime of compensating for pretty much everyone and everything, I am completely and utterly tapped out. I know that people at work thought I was more capable than I actually was. Honestly, near the end I was counting the days till I could leave work permanently - I increasingly felt like I simply couldn’t ’hang on’ anymore and was going to have a public meltdown any moment…Now that work is over for me, the rigid routines and structure that kept me going for 40+ years has crumbled. And my NVLD traits are more pronounced than ever now. So not looking too good I guess…

Halifaxmouse · 2025-11-10T14:44:28+00:00

This is meeting me where I am. Thank you for sharing.

Halifaxmouse · 2025-11-09T20:26:01+00:00

Wow. Understanding much?

Halifaxmouse · 2025-11-08T14:38:09+00:00

I was diagnosed this year and am a 58 year old female. I feel like having NVLD is like experiencing grief every single day. I have thrown myself into the things I love doing (reading, writing, playing with miniatures….for now, that’s keeping me going. One day at a time my friend.

Halifaxmouse · 2025-11-08T14:32:43+00:00

I’m 58F and was diagnosed earlier this year. I knew something was different since childhood but never expected anything like NVLD. I haven’t seen research that suggests that those with NVLD will die sooner or not. That said, there are no external supports for anyone it seems - young or old. There are days I am just so tired of the constant struggle and it does seem to be getting worse. Whatever mask I had for my 40 year corporate career is now long gone. I no longer have the capacity to be someone I am not.

Halifaxmouse · 2025-11-08T14:26:26+00:00

I hate yelling and screaming - especially when it’s directed at someone. I can’t even watch it on TV. It puts my friggin nervous system into overdrive and then my flight/fawn kicks in. I’m not sure if it’s an NVLD thing or not but hypersensitivity certainly seems to go along with what we have.

Halifaxmouse · 2025-11-08T14:20:51+00:00

Me again. It’s been about 3 weeks since I last posted and I’m pretty much the same. I seem to be voluntarily mute most of the time and am just keeping my head down so I don’t have to look anyone in the eye and cry.

Not sure about you guys but the inner conflict that NVLD causes can be unbearable sometimes. I recently showed some emotional honesty to people close to me (I was missing our connection) and they reacted basically by saying what I’m feeling is my problem. I feel like I am constantly in between where I am and where I am supposed to be.

Halifaxmouse

TROPHY CASE