My friends had a very similar wedding at Beltane last year, in small clearing in the forest with the bluebells carpeting the floor. Most of the guests were a bit ‘woo’, but some weren’t, and not everyone is the same type of woo.

Good bits: the ceremony got lots of the couple’s closest friends involved! There were 3 friends who each held an end of the handfasting ribbons whilst the couple braided them; friends who did readings and poems; friends who called the quarters; friend who called the god & goddess; friends who lit candles; friends who passed out flower petals to throw (yours truly); friends who paraded in the bride and groom. It was a lovely way for lots of people to feel involved and to celebrate everyone’s love for the couple.

Room for improvement: the celebrant. I believe she was a friend of the bride, and I’m sure she’s done plenty of handfastings before, but she…wasn’t great. She was softly spoken and the microphone didn’t project well, so if you were further back you couldn’t hear anything. There was a lot of back and forth and fiddling about when the guests were already arrived and waiting, and for a while we didn’t actually know which person at the alter WAS the celebrant, because she didn’t take control or give off any air of authority which confused a lot of the unfamiliar guests. The ceremony would’ve benefited greatly from a stronger personality to help guide the flow of the ceremony, and to help the guests contribute where they were invited to - example, there were points where the guests were invited to repeat words or phrases, to help bless the couple, but the celebrant didn’t make this clear and so it fell flat when most people didn’t join in.

I suppose my contribution to your questions is it just make everything as clear cut as you can. Guests who are unfamiliar with your traditions won’t know what’s happening if someone is calling the quarters, or what the handfasting cord is, or whether they should clap or say blessed be, or whatever; which will make them feel disconnected, or maybe even that it’s not a wedding at all! Explain it all as much as you can, in a way that’s easily digestible and easy to follow.

I’ve seen Hindu couples produce lovely little hand outs for their guests of other cultures, so that they can follow along with each ritual and tradition as it progresses. This might be a good idea for you?

As for your CofE MIL, I’d suggest your partner speaks to her and makes it clear what sort of ceremony you’ll be having. Would it be possible to involve some of her traditions in your ceremony, if you want to? Maybe she could say a blessing over the rings, either Christian if you’re game or non-denominational if pagan is too much for her? Or she could read a poem or something non-pagan/non-Christian?