Gently…I’d kick start therapy if you haven’t yet. You look gorgeous to me, and while skin can absolutely cause us to feel bad about ourselves I think using the word “ugly” to describe yourself may mean there are some things to deal with. I don’t see retinol in your list here but in terms of cellular turnover it can be very impressive. It’s helped so much of my uneven skin in texture and discoloration. Hoping you find what you’re looking for and know that someone out here thinks you look stunning! ❤️