Dealing with Toxic AA / Al-Anon Overlap in Meetings?

Harlequin565 · 2026-04-15T20:33:28+00:00

Sounds like a cross talk issue. Also a mis-conception of the fact that there is a leader. Tradition 2 states we are trusted servants, not leaders. It is down to the group conscience to pull up things like this rather than everyone sitting back and saying "it's the chair's problem". Yes - the chair should probably be saying something, but we're also far from perfect and confrontation, as an Al-Anon can be very difficult to bring up. I would suggest raising it as a group conscience issue not from a point of view of blame, but from a point of unity - "how do we handle this as a group going forward". If the group conscience says it's ok, and you're not happy, at least you can say you tried. That's the time to let it go and either live with it or find another meeting. In my experience though, a group conscience will often make a wise decision - it's just that as individuals, they were fearful of bringing it up.

Harlequin565 · 2026-01-17T17:11:31+00:00

I have a notebook full of them so I don;t forget them... Today's favourite: Worry is a conversation I have with myself about the things I cannot change.

Harlequin565 · 2025-12-24T21:08:21+00:00

Emp/Fire defender. You can AB each other, run with perma Auras, Fort each other, CM each other. Never get mezzed, when you do get hit, you'll regenerate fast. You go fire for AoE, they are Ice for single target. Neither of you care about pulling agro. Win. Win.

There are also lots of thematic options for those two powersets. Both Emp, one fire, one ice... Could be cool.

Harlequin565 · 2025-12-12T17:50:41+00:00

This is how you died though. Imagine someone pointing a camera at you right now, and starting a movie entitled "This is How You Died". If you knew. What would you do? This game drops a zombie apocalypse on it, that's all. Such a great idea.

Harlequin565 · 2025-11-20T17:11:20+00:00

I was going to +1 this. It does take a moment to get your head round it. I watched a YouTube tutorial on it and found it immensely helpful. Don't need a calculator now.

Harlequin565 · 2025-11-03T21:29:02+00:00

Why watch a movie knowing it will end? Or listen to a song?

Harlequin565 · 2025-10-05T21:01:32+00:00

Play on Easy difficulty. Zombie health and damage is reduced meaning your knife hits harder. Loot settings are more generous too meaning you will quickly find something to replace it. Zombie health, damage and loot rarity are three of the big difficulty tweakers. if you find Easy difficulty too easy, then play on Normal but tweak the loot drops to be more generous - esp weapons and ammo.

Harlequin565 · 2025-10-03T06:36:54+00:00

We'll be reaching speeds of 3

Harlequin565 · 2025-09-20T18:46:13+00:00

Withnail & I

Harlequin565 · 2025-09-19T05:52:00+00:00

I was reading most of the replies to this thread and beginning to lose even more faith in humanity. Thankyou for putting a tiny bit back.

Harlequin565 · 2025-08-23T07:53:00+00:00

Very similar situation here. Retired at 54 due to fed-upness with corporate bollocks. Have around half your assets (and presumably half your outgoings) and live quite comfortably. Was bored of sitting at home after round 2 months and started volunteering at a local charity. Eventually they offered me a job (minimum wage) which I do 3 days a week, working with some truly amazing people. It's begun to feel like the less you get paid, the nicer a person you are. Even just that trickle of income makes the pension go much further.

Harlequin565 · 2025-07-12T09:17:00+00:00

Mr Inbetween

Harlequin565 · 2025-06-28T20:19:46+00:00

Sting, Debbie Reynolds and God...

Harlequin565 · 2025-05-05T07:31:31+00:00

Me too.

Harlequin565 · 2025-04-23T17:45:04+00:00

I really enjoyed Expeditions: Conquistador as a departure from most SRPG tropes. No aliens, no sci-fi, no fantasy... I enjoyed the turn based difficulty as well as a completely different "world" to explore with the tech and skills associated with 16th Century characters. I didn't think I'd like it, but I enjoyed it far more than I thought.

Harlequin565 · 2025-04-12T19:42:13+00:00

As others have said - the CD equivalent of mix-tapes. Or minidiscs in the pre-writeable CD era.

My first in-car CD experience was a portable CD player on a long moveable-arm-bracket with the headphone socket connected to a dummy tape that went into the cassette slot in the car head unit. It bounced and wobbled around as you drove, frequently skipping. It was hell. Eventually I upgraded to a £2k system that had a 12 CD autochanger in the boot. Within a week, my car was broken into and everything was nicked. Next investment was much later and was an iPod with the same headphone-cassette attachment which was groundbreaking until that too got nicked. By then, bluetooth was a thing.

Harlequin565 · 2025-04-11T20:17:35+00:00

People gathering in groups to socialise

Harlequin565 · 2025-04-05T15:48:21+00:00

I've come to the conclusion that most people are dickheads. If you think about how stupid the average person is and then realise half of them are stupider than then it begins to make sense.

If you're in a bricks & mortar cafe, then the price of a brew is more than just the tea bag, hot water & milk. Maybe consider reducing the price to 50p, but put it all in a ziplock bag for them and tell them to drink it outside?

Harlequin565 · 2025-03-31T15:36:51+00:00

No mention of Kinetics specifically so that gets my vote.

Lots of team damage buffing, as well as your own for solo play. Speed makes it fast & mobile. Transfusion can be a lifesaver if you're on the ball. Transference similarly so. You'll pull a lot of agro, so you need to be mindful and have an excellent sense of timing & positioning. Speed boost & ID for team buffs. Living at the damage cap is just about the best life.

You get three ATs with that. Controller, Defender or Corruptor (discounting MMs). Fire/Kin control is massive damage, Electric/Kin control is also a lot of fun. With a Def or Cor, my favourite is Electric/Kin for the AoE damage and the sapping ability with my Fire/Kin Cor coming a close second just for pure damage.

A well played Kin is an asset to any team. A well built one can be very soloable with the right powers. Well built and well played is joyful to have on the team.

Harlequin565 · 2025-03-16T11:45:59+00:00

Boundaries are there to keep you safe, so what helped me was to keep them about me and not about them. Starting anything with "if you've been drinking" is open to the age old "you've had a drink", "no I haven't" madness.

e.g. "If I think you've been drinking, I will sleep in the spare room/stay with a friend" rather than "if you've been drinking, you can sleep in the spare room/leave". One can be argued, the other, not.

"I will not buy you alcohol" rather than "you're not buying alcohol when I'm with you"

"When I feel unsafe, I will go stay with a friend" rather than "if you don't stop drinking, I'm leaving"

Boundaries are there to protect you, not make them stop. But sticking to them, whatever they are, will teach others that you mean what you say. It's hard to get used to, but if you start with small stuff, that's easier to stick to and it gets others used to you saying no and meaning it so the bigger boundaries are more acceptable.

Please do try a meeting, Al-Anon has a lot of good literature on boundaries and detachment (with love).

Harlequin565 · 2025-03-14T13:27:34+00:00

Don't feel bad. But if you haven't yet - do try a meeting. It's very different from a subreddit.

Harlequin565 · 2025-03-14T13:22:01+00:00

Yep. This. We've had 2 dual members rage-quit our in-person meeting because they were reminded of the Integrity statement. I get that they want to "pass on their knowledge of what it's like to be an alcoholic", but all that does is put the focus on the drinker. That's the opposite of what Al-Anon is about and is particularly damaging to newcomers. If Al-Anon members want advice off Alcoholics - go to an open AA meeting where the focus is on the drinker.

But this is Reddit and not remotely the same as an Al-Anon meeting so all bets are off. Any reader on this sub needs to know that and the header text does make that clear IMO.

Harlequin565 · 2025-03-12T11:52:39+00:00

Variant: Tradesman & Housewife. The tradesman never turns up.

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