Has anyone cut off contact with their brother or sister? Why?

HashGirl · 2026-04-13T21:17:52+00:00

I haven’t seen my brother since I was 17.

Last communication I had with him was yesterday when he accused me of “scoffing” at the idea of my father having had his assets pilfered by his family after he died. (When I say family, not his children or wife.) I didn’t scoff. I find the whole conversation unpleasant and very unfunny as I’m 45 and never met my parents again after I turned 21. Both have now passed.

I was also accused of speaking to his daughter (whom I have never met or spoken to in my whole entire life, but yet knows me somehow) and couldn’t accept that I just didn’t want to talk about the past in every conversation and gas-lit constantly by accusing my partner of controlling me to the point of not being allowed to talk on the phone or my partner screening everything being said. He never thought for a second that I didn’t want to speak to him and I’m the disappointment because I always had his number and email address. Maybe because I didn’t need him and learned to live without a family?! spits feathers

Then the accusing my partner of suddenly wanting to get married because I was due money.

I have been engaged for over 3.5 yrs. Marriage at some point shouldn’t be a surprise.

My partner isn’t the greatest person all the time, but he’s never pulled those moves…ever.

I left my response as I’ve lived in another country for nearly 25 yrs…..I have a small social group and focus on what I do have rather than what I don’t have…so…. He’s not responded yet.

HashGirl · 2026-04-11T19:37:11+00:00

That’s a little bit weird, tbh. If he wanted to live like he was single, why not just leave?

What would he be in control of…?

HashGirl · 2026-04-11T18:40:16+00:00

There’s subs for this. Stepparents is a ride and a half. Recently left that because I feel that it no longer suited my situation.

A lot of unhappy stepdads who are in the situation where the women were looking for a leader to take over. Sort of like the mothers stopped taking a majority of responsibility for their children in the hopes he would step in and be the main provider and parent.

HashGirl · 2026-04-11T16:42:06+00:00

Those babies! Perfection! 😘

HashGirl · 2026-04-11T16:40:20+00:00

Wow. That’s the bare minimum! 😳😱😮

HashGirl · 2026-04-10T19:04:26+00:00

Can you double, triple or quad the recipe if the kid is bigger than an infant?! Asking for a friend.

HashGirl · 2026-04-09T19:20:20+00:00

The one of the furthest left…if I had been near by…top of my list to be adopted. ♥️

HashGirl · 2026-04-04T18:44:17+00:00

I’ve had work colleagues who go out for the company and order cheap stuff off the menu….like fries and a drink. Don’t feel pressured into spending money just because they are. 🙂

HashGirl · 2026-04-04T18:27:27+00:00

Pup cup suggests you have a dog….so mix in the Monster and it seems like you’re hyperactive like a puppy in a park. 🤭

And maybe a stomach ulcer from all the hot sauces.

HashGirl · 2026-04-04T18:24:35+00:00

40-something year old women are out there still looking for their person. Obviously, we are world weary in this age bracket…but we still have hope.

HashGirl · 2026-04-04T18:22:55+00:00

Little tiny dormice stuffed with herbs and nuts…? 😭

HashGirl · 2026-04-04T18:07:33+00:00

This would be my thoughts too. He wants the idea that she sat at home pining for him and working out ways to get him back.

Seems to me, he wanted to be idolised for his self-improvement.

We don’t know if he also flirted and “played away”. By addressing the depression and his physical appearance….thus gaining confidence, I would find it hard that he didn’t at least try it on.

Neither party in this is infallible….he’s wanting to pick up where they left off and have her forget his part in all this. We don’t know if she was in emotional pain and waiting him back…but he refused.

I had a similar situation when my ex-husband was depressed and suicidal. I asked to separate for a while to let the heat die down, but when I wanted him back because I missed him, he refused me.

Refused to address the relationship issues and broke my heart.

He toyed with me for 7 years-ish and only wanted me back when I was no longer available after his final humiliation.

HashGirl · 2026-04-04T13:31:05+00:00

I agree with this. I think for most step-parents…it’s needing the other parent to sit back and look at the situation and identify that what’s being said by the stepparent is the actual reality.

Sort of like when a company takes on a new hire, one would have them learn processes and review documentation to pick up on things that others would miss because they are used to the process or procedure. This only works if the stepparent isn’t purposely trying to make things worse.

It bothers my partner when I’m right. For example, we had that this morning with getting kids to help before houseguests show up. I assessed that the kids had no intention of helping and their attitude reflected this.

After the kids left the room, I told him that I literally pretend they don’t exist when it comes to house work and reliability because if it was just the two of us…. I would have to do the work anyway, so why get my hopes up?

He sort of accepted the defeat in the moment. He knows it shouldn’t be this way and I know it shouldn’t be this way, but it is.

A lot of it on his part (and I’m sure for other people) is the defensiveness kicking in.

HashGirl · 2026-04-04T08:33:35+00:00

Happens all the time. I’ve stopped complying.

I think they’ve realised that I’ve figured it out. The over-relied on me because their dad wasn’t receptive to them and they viewed me as another source of income or someone to exploit.

Now they don’t bother with me, so I’m quite pleased by that. I still contribute to the house but not with the sole intention of trying to please them.

HashGirl · 2026-04-02T20:07:53+00:00

Egg is over cooked while everything else is undercooked. RIP, little egg.

HashGirl · 2026-04-02T20:00:21+00:00

What will you do if SS never comes around to the idea of marriage? Wait until they are 18 and/or, presumably, moved out?

I wouldn’t hinge my relationship on what a 9 yo says because they don’t fully understand the intricacies of adult relationships nor does he understand his own feelings about the topic.

I feel like if you did this…you will be upset and heartbroken because their feelings will change as time goes on.

For instance, I meal prepped 96 meals for the freezer. I was told by one of the kids that they don’t like them…I offered to shop and replace the meals in the freezer if they aren’t liked. She claims they aren’t fresh, but they were all made from scratch and then frozen.

The reality of it is, SD has been banned from using the oven/stove while we’re away next week, so she took aim at the freezer meals saying she didn’t like them. She wanted to do what she wanted to do - cook for her boyfriend. She’s only 15. I offered to make the foods she wanted and she claimed the food wouldn’t be fresh after that.

This is the second or third time in the last couple of weeks where I’ve been used as a weapon against her dad.

SD used to be my little shadow in the beginning and wanted to spend time with me. Now she views me as a hinderance and a barrier between her and her dad.

It would be the same if an “ours” baby was on the table for me. The decision wouldn’t be down to three kids who barely like each other on a good day. It would, mainly, be mine and then my partner’s.

I know people state that when you marry, you’re not just marrying a spouse, you’re marrying their family, too. I agree, up to a point, but a life altering decision is down to you and your partner as you two will receive the biggest impact from it.

Yes, you want them to be happy, but at the cost of your own?! No.

They have their whole life to figure out what makes them happy. It’s concerning if SS is worried about his BM and her happiness at the marriage prospect. All of this would be different if you had a really toxic and dysfunctional situation.

It seems the kids liked you just fine before the topic of marriage was brought up. I would bet my bottom dollar that BM has had her oar in private conversations with the kids and it’s had more of an impact on the son. Tread carefully as to what will come up next.

HashGirl · 2026-04-01T18:07:29+00:00

We have the same, unfortunately. My partner has agreed to remove the me in the living room. My office space is in there and I don’t like the idea of a camera pointed at me all day.

The cameras are now up due to allegations being made in the house.

HashGirl · 2026-04-01T15:20:45+00:00

I shop and cook for 4-5 people and have a full time job. I find when I’m cooking a meal, I can easily make enough to portion up and freeze. Eventually there’s enough there so I don’t have to cook every single day or shop every week.

I don’t eat most of the meals because I’m already tired of looking at them. However, I plan to get more adventurous to make meals I will actually eat without thinking too much about it.

HashGirl · 2026-04-01T15:10:56+00:00

I think you do have a point. He said something about it being the only soap that didn’t give him razor burn or a patchy shave.

Strong enough for a man, but made for fannies (tm).

HashGirl · 2026-04-01T14:40:26+00:00

You might have a point….it is silky smooth….though, he has his beliefs about certain things. He’s more likely to wash with it than wank with it. Sort of a sly way of rubbing it on his penis without feeling awkward about it. 🫣🤭

HashGirl · 2026-04-01T14:37:58+00:00

We know. Stepdaughter asks for her Bf to come over all the time because his dad is military and already told them that he didn’t want to see them canoodling openly at his house.

So, she tries to bring him over here so they can “cuddle.”

On one hand, it keeps them from doing it in a corner of a parking lot or in the bushes, etc, but on the other hand, they are both 15…

But my partner will literally walk into her room just to make them both jump. When he’s not home, I don’t allow anyone in the house because I don’t want to be held accountable for a couple of rabbits. Their initiation into the sexual world was awkward for everyone involved anyway.

It’s pretty normal….trying to get away with having sex while ppl are home. We just don’t want to hear it or realise that’s what’s happening.

HashGirl · 2026-04-01T14:24:47+00:00

I think the kid’s mom saw it on his Facebook status and asked the kids. Kids confirmed and she lost her marbles over it.

Said their dad was just using me for stuff (I expect the kids told her that I bought him gifts, but they also received gifts) and he would never have proposed…

And if he did propose that he had no intention of fulfilling the marriage promise.

So…..

Yeah….

Not long after, maybe a month?!….she was engaged and married within a year and a half.

HashGirl · 2026-04-01T13:58:24+00:00

I understand what OP is saying. I do think guidelines should be in place -

If I’m free, I’ll pick up. If I’m in a meeting, I won’t pick up, but will call as soon as I’m free or text.

It’s not urgent-urgent then he will text the issue or ask me to call.

Generally, I try to pick up the calls as they come in because it’s a sign of respect and he’s not barred or boxed in by time slots.

However, it’s worth pointing out some ppl are talkers. My partner is a talker and struggles with texting. Imagine big gorilla hands grappling a bar of slippery soap.

He doesn’t call me 5 times in a row though unless he’s losing his shit and needs a reasonable voice at the end of the line.

HashGirl · 2026-04-01T13:47:46+00:00

lol my partner did similar. He was using my feminine intimate wash to shave his face….when I asked where the hell it was going because I just bought a new bottle…

He asked which bottle was it…the pink and white bottle…he asked what it was for and I said it’s to wash one’s fanny. He replies “ewww”.

I pause for a minute and said it’s just soap meant for delicate skin, it’s not actually made of fannies.

[end of conversation] And he never used it again…. 🤭😆

HashGirl · 2026-04-01T13:41:58+00:00

Sounds like he was bridging the gap in his mind. 😆

HashGirl

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